I’ve lost so much over my lifetime and now it seems as though I’m losing everything all over again. In reality, the only thing I’m losing is the idea of who I thought he was.
“You okay?” Jared asks me after our literature class. I look over at Emilia when he speaks. She’s back at school today. I have no idea why she didn’t come yesterday. Well, that’s a lie. I know exactly why she didn’t come.
She didn’t want to look at me.
Even now, she keeps her head ducked and her eyes carefully turned away from mine. She doesn’t want to meet my gaze and I don’t really blame her at all. Emilia has been through a lot. She’s gone through the same situation in me, as fact, but I know something that she doesn’t know.
And I don’t know if I should tell her.
In Emilia’s mind, her father is the hero of the story and mine is the villain. Perhaps it should stay that way. Maybe the two of them should just rest in peace. I don’t need to be the one who digs up the past because when it comes to dealing with family, things are never easy.
And our situation?
It’s messy, through-and-through.
“I’m fine,” I say curtly, and Jared makes a little noise. His gaze follows mine and he sees that I’m staring at Emilia.
“Is this going to be a problem?” He asks.
“What?”
“This little obsession you have.”
“Nope. No problem.”
“Really? Because the game’s tomorrow, man, and we need you.”
“I’ll be there,” I say, tearing my eyes away from her. I look back at Jared, and his gaze is dark, menacing. I rarely see him look this way and to be honest, it makes me really uncomfortable.
“You’d better be,” he grumbles.
“Hey, I said I’d fucking be there. Let it go.”
Emilia gathers her things and leaves the classroom. I want to catch up with her so I can talk to her. There’s a lot I have to say about, well, everything, but Jared grabs my shoulder. I turn around, pissed that he’s holding me back, and I see something else on his face.
Concern.
He’s worried about me.
WHEN I FIND EMILIA at lunch, she's sitting with her two friends: Karen and Adalee. Both girls are generally well-mannered. They both get good grades and they're serious about school.
Adalee is kind of intense and Karen has a mean streak, but then again, I guess we all sort of do.
Her friends look up when I approach, but Emilia keeps her head down. Her entire body tenses, though. She can tell it's me. She knows I'm close.
"I need to talk to you," I say without preamble. Why make her wait any longer?
"I don't have anything to say to you," she says. I hear a thud, and she glares at Adalee. "Ow!" She says. "That hurt!"
"Did you just kick her?" I ask Adalee.
The girl just shrugs.
Strange.
Who would have thought I'd have an ally in Adalee? I definitely never would have thought so.
"I'm a little busy," she says. "Can we meet after class?"