It had been scary to admit my feelings.
It shouldn’t have been.
Bob had always and forever been my person. He’d been with me through thick and thin. We’d both lost our mothers around the same time, and he’d lost his grandmother. We’d had Matthew, and that kid had helped us through some rough times. He’d caused a few rough times, too.
“Hey,” Bob reached for my chin, tilting it up toward him.
I looked at him.
I looked at the man who had always been there: the man who had given me everything I’d ever hoped for. Bob was a sweetheart, through-and-through. He’d offered me hope, and he’d offered me his heart. He’d been there when I was sad and when I was scared, and even now that I was struggling to share my feelings, he was here for me.
“It’s going to be okay,” he promised.
“You really mean that,” I whispered, looking up at him.
Yes, he did.
He truly did.
“Of course, I mean it.”
Bob looked at me the same way he’d looked at me all of those years ago when he’d promised to marry me. When he’d proposed, we’d both been young and naïve, but he had the same sparkle in his eyes now that he had back then.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” I said.
I was, too.
“How long have you felt this way?”
“Worried about what comes next?”
He nodded, patiently waiting for me. Bob didn’t seem to mind that we were standing on the side of Main Street or that we were supposed to be at the rehearsal dinner. He didn’t seem to mind that we were out late when we should have been with our son and his fiancé.
He didn’t care about the fact that I was taking up his time, taking up his space. He was just happy to be here with me, and he was willing to listen. That was Bob.
He was always ready to help. He was always willing to lend a hand to anyone who felt alone, and that was one of the reasons I loved him so much.
“A long time,” I finally said.
“Why didn’t you talk to me sooner, princess?”
His voice held no judgment. Instead, there was pure curiosity there. He wanted to know how long I’d felt alone because he wanted to help me feel better. I knew it. I understood perfectly well that this was why he was asking me.
Bob wanted to know how long I’d felt alone because he was going to do anything an everything in his power to help me heal. That was the way he’d always been.
It’s strange, growing older. Sometimes it could be easy to lose sight of who you used to be. Once upon a time, when we were young, we seemed to have these perfect ideas of who we were. Now that we were grown up, and we had a grown-up child, things seemed more complicated.
They felt more complicated.
“I was scared,” I finally said.
“What were you scared of?”
“Bob, I was scared that you wouldn’t want me anymore.”
Bob laughed. He actually laughed out loud and shook his head.
“Oh, Helena, you should have talked to me sooner.”