She bristles, and steps back, and I realize it’s because she thinks I regret marking her. I don’t. I just wish that it had been in a different way. I wish I’d claimed her after we’d gotten to know each other better: after we’d had some time to decide how this relationship between us was going to work.
Meredith and I barely know each other.
We don’t know very much about one another at all. She’s the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met and I like her. A lot. Obviously, my bear feels the same attraction to her, but claiming someone is a huge commitment. It’s not exactly something you can undo.
“Well,” she says, and she steps over to her dresser. She starts pulling things out: a bra, panties, a t-shirt. She dresses hastily, awkwardly. Her anxiety wafts off her. The scent fills my nostrils and my bear growls deep within me. He’s mad. Angry. Frustrated with me.
“Meredith, I...”
I don’t know what to say to her.
I don’t regret claiming her. I just regret the way it happened.
“Please don’t say anything else,” she says. She looks over at me, and I’m a little surprised to see tears streaming down her cheeks. “I know there’s a storm and we’re stuck here together, but do me a favor and just...stay here, okay? I’m going to crash in the other room.”
She leaves before I can say anything else, and I don’t go after her. Something tells me that I’ve fucked up beyond royally and that it’s going to take more than a little bit of trying to salvage this situation.
Fuck.
I go into the attached bathroom and turn on the water. Luckily, there’s still power, and there’s still hot water, so I climb into the shower and sit down. The water falls over me, washing away everything I’m feeling.
My anxiety.
My sadness.
My stress.
I really messed this one up, and I didn’t even mean to. That’s maybe the very worst part. I loved being with Meredith, and the fact that I claimed her is, well, it’s kind of wonderful. I just wish that we’d gotten a chance to talk about it. When I was coming, though, I lost all control, and my bear just sort of...marked her.
I’ve always heard stories of claimed mates. I’ve heard tales of how claiming works and what’s important about claiming. My mother always believed in fated mates. She said my dad was obviously her one and only. The two of them claimed each other, and that sealed their bond. Their entire lives, they loved spending time together. They did everything together. They were lovers, but they were also very best friends.
Is it terrible that I want that with Meredith?
Because I do.
Oh, I do.
I want her to be my one and only. I want her to be my lover. My darling. My little wolf.
But I fucking blew it.
N
ow the mating claim is half-finished. I don’t even know what to do now. Once your inner-animal chooses a partner and claims them, they’re marked forever. Your animal will never love someone else in the same way. At least, that’s the tale I’ve been told.
My bear will never be satisfied until she’s marked me back or until we’ve reversed the claim somehow, but I don’t know how to do that.
And honestly, I don’t want to.
She’s the one I want to be with, but I...
Well, I managed to screw that up.
Badly.
I sit in the shower until the water manages to run cold, and then I finally pry myself from the bathroom. I dry myself with one of her towels. Even though it’s a clean one from a shelf, it smells like her. Everything smells like her. I definitely should have offered to go into the guest room because now I’m surrounded with Meredith.
Everything reminds me of her.