Did she want to be with Cal? Well, of course she did. She thought about living in that cabin, cooking with him, hearing about Glacier Park at the end of the day. And being part of Teri’s snow leopard family, then, getting to know her fiancé and all the rest of them as an insider, instead of someone poking her nose in from outside.
And going to bed every night with Cal. Waking up every morning with him. Having hot, delicious, overwhelming sex with him...
Lillian shivered.
The idea of saying it out loud, though, admitting she wanted it, was daunting. Putting that vulnerability out there and waiting for it to be taken away from her...
But Cal wasn’t threatening to take it away from her. He was offering to give it to her.
So the question, she supposed, was how much she trusted him to keep his word.
“Yes,” she whispered. It was almost inaudible, but from the way his eyes kindled with a silvery fire, she knew he had heard her.
Seeing that gave her the confidence to repeat it more loudly. “Yes. Yes, I want to be with you. I can’t think of anything in the world I want more.”
“Good,” Cal said, stepping closer and catching her hands again. “Because I can’t imagine going ahead without you. Lillian, I want you with me, in my home, in my life. I wanted you even before I realized you were my mate. Now that I know we’re meant to be together, though...it means I’m looking forward to our future and I can see so much unfolding.”
Lillian felt tears rising again. She swallowed them back...but somehow, this time they wouldn’t go away. Her chest hurt, and her eyes were hot, and the next thing she knew, they were spilling down her cheeks.
Cal’s face—blurry now—went sharp with concern, and he pulled her into his arms immediately, holding her tight. “What is it?” he asked softly. “What’s wrong?”
Lillian shook her head, aware that she was probably getting his shirt all wet but unable to care. At least she’d washed most of her makeup off of her face after waking up this afternoon. “Nothing’s wrong,” she managed. “I just—I never thought that I’d—I thought I was going to live with my mother for years and years, and then just—be alone.”
She choked on the last part, and then she was crying openly into his shoulder.
Lillian had been so sure that her future was this empty, bleak wasteland, where she slowly paid off debt, went along with her mother’s demands, and eventually, someday, moved back out on her own. And then kept living a passionless life, going to work, coming home, and doing the same the next day. This time, maybe with
enough money for takeout now and then, if she was conscientious about saving for her retirement.
She’d tried not to think about it too much. To take it one day at a time. But the knowledge creeped in now and then. The realization that she wasn’t doing this for anything, really. There was no prize at the end.
“You don’t have to be alone anymore,” Cal was murmuring into her hair. “You have me now. You have me forever. And more, if you want. We can fill the house with children.”
That made her pull back, blinking tear-filled eyes at him. “Really?”
“Only if you want to!” Cal said hastily. As always, watching him a bit flustered melted her heart a little. It was easy to see, even through her tear-blurred vision, what he really wanted. “That’s a bit down the line, anyway.”
“I want to,” she told him. The amount of love she could feel rising in her chest—it didn’t seem real. Could she feel this way? Could it mean something, instead of just wistful castles in the air?
Then Cal pulled her in tight again, and there was no denying the reality of his arms around her.
Mates. They were mates. Lillian tasted the word silently in her mouth. It felt real.
***
Cal was internally berating himself for not telling Lillian that they were mates the second he’d realized it. The way she was trembling in his arms, the disbelief on her face that had slowly transformed into stunned joy...how could he have kept this from her, even for an hour?
The fact that she’d resigned herself to being alone broke his heart. Lillian deserved all the love in the world.
He’d have to do his best to give her his share, at the very least.
And she’d said she did want children. He suddenly wanted to get started as soon as possible.
“Will you come back home?” he asked her.
She mouthed the word home, as though to herself. Cal wondered if he’d been presumptuous in calling it that so quickly. But then she broke into the sweetest, happiest smile he’d ever seen.
“Home,” she said. “Yes. Yes, I would love to come home.”