It was going to be a long night.
But she’d had lots of long nights like this, with a si
ck or colicky or just sleepless baby, and this was the first time she’d been able to draw strength from someone else. Just knowing that Jeff was present in the other room, even if he was falling asleep...it helped. It helped a lot.
Could Leah really have this? Jeff had said forever, earlier. Could he have meant that?
Surely nobody could make a decision about forever that quickly.
Well...Leah knew that if it were up to her alone, she’d take Jeff forever in a heartbeat. The way she felt when she was with him, the way he looked at her, the heat in his body and the warmth in his heart...
She wanted this man with her forever. She knew it.
But she was still afraid that he might not mean it. Or, not quite. She knew he meant it, right now, in the moment. But would he still mean it next month? Next year? There was no way to know.
Emily started to cry again. Leah picked up her walking pace. “Okay, baby,” she said. “Mommy’s here. You’re going to feel better soon, I promise.” She held her close.
“Maybe you can help Mommy make her decision,” she murmured in Emily’s ear. “Do you think Jeff would make a good daddy for you?”
Of course, when she phrased it like that, the answer seemed like it was obvious.
“Would Mommy be good for him, though?” she whispered. That was the question.
It was a question that resounded in her head as the night wore on.
Emily was definitely not planning on sleeping, or at least not for more than fifteen minutes at a time. She was also loudly unhappy with the idea of Leah sitting down for any period of time, let alone lying down. So Leah paced the house, and thought about her future.
The thing was, Jeff really did seem to love taking care of Emily. And he’d taken care of Leah, too, rescuing her from the snow and tending to her frostbite and making sure she and Emily were warm and safe.
But that wasn’t all. If that had been all, Leah didn’t think she’d want to stay so badly. After all, she was an adult with a child of her own. She didn’t want to be taken care of like she was a kid, too.
But Jeff was happy to work with her. He passed Emily back and forth between them, depending on who needed to do what. In the cabin, they’d both done the chores that needed doing, and Jeff hadn’t been annoyed when Leah did something for them. He’d only told her not to do things when she’d needed to stay off her frostbitten feet.
In fact, Jeff never told her to do anything. He’d explained things about what they needed to do in the cabin, he’d stated what he wanted and how he felt, and he’d asked her what she thought.
From the very beginning, from the moment she’d been awake and able to make decisions, he’d acted like they were partners, working together to stay alive during the snowstorm, working together to take care of Emily.
It was so different from anything else she’d experienced. Rob hadn’t acted like they were partners. Sometimes like he was in charge (when he wanted something), sometimes like she was in charge (when he wanted her to take care of something for him), sometimes like they were adversaries (when he wanted to get his way).
They hadn’t been equals. They’d never been equals.
And her mom was wrong, Leah realized. Men weren’t ‘just like that.’ A man could want to take care of a baby, a man could want to stick around and spend time with her even when he could be doing something else.
And Jeff was that man.
***
Jeff had been sleeping lightly, hearing Emily cry every so often, sometimes cracking an eye open to check the time and see if he should get up.
But he fell hard asleep by midnight or so, and the next thing he knew, his bedroom door was opening, light from the hall falling through, and he could hear Leah’s exhausted voice.
“Jeff? Could you take a turn? I don’t know how much longer I can stay awake.”
Jeff glanced at the clock. 3:15 AM. “Sure thing,” he said.
“Maybe just for an hour,” Leah said hesitantly. “You have work tomorrow...”
“You have a long day of taking care of a sick baby tomorrow,” Jeff pointed out, throwing aside his covers and getting up. He came up to Leah and took the baby from her arms.