Leah was so tired of being strong. She was so tired of doing it all herself, with no one to help her if she needed help, or to comfort her when she cried. And maybe she didn’t care as much about looking pathetic as she’d thought she did, now that he was standing next to her, almost touching her with those big, warm hands. She nodded.
Jeff's arms wrapped around her and Emily, pulling them in until Leah's head was resting against the warmth of his chest. His grip was strong, strong enough that it felt like nothing would be able to snatch her away again.
"I'll help you," he said, and she could feel his voice rumbling deep beneath her ear. "I swear to you, I will help you. You don't have to do it all alone."
Leah closed her eyes and tried to believe that. For a few seconds, she almost did.
After a minute, she felt a warm pressure on the top of her head. Jeff's mouth. Jeff was pressing a kiss to her crown, his lips brushing her hair. A warm flush went through Leah's body, and she pulled back, juggling Emily over to her other side.
She looked up at Jeff. He was looking down at her, the firelight haloing his body and lighting his hair. But his eyes were dark, and she saw something unmistakable in them.
He wanted her.
The flush through Leah’s body turned hot. It was like all of her worries and doubts were burned away in a wash of fiery heat.
When was the last time she’d felt wanted? Not since Rob left. Not since long before Rob left.
And Rob had never made her feel quite like this. Jeff was looking at her like she was beautiful, like she was something wonderful to see. Not just a sex object, but something precious. And even in addition to that, like she was sexy.
Leah couldn’t even remember the last time she’d felt sexy.
“Um,” she said, totally unsure what to say. What actually came out was, “It’s way past Emily’s bedtime.”
He didn’t seem taken aback, or annoyed at the change of subject. “Seems like it would be,” he said softly. “Do you want me to set up the Pack-n-Play?”
“That would be great,” she said. “I’ll get her cleaned up and changed.”
There was a long, charged moment, where they were still looking at each other, and neither of them seemed to want to break eye contact to move.
Leah made herself tear her eyes away, and stood up purposefully, Emily sitting on her hip. “Let’s go clean you up, honey, and then it’s time for night-night,” she told her, keeping her eyes on the baby. It staved off the temptation to fall into Jeff’s arms.
Jeff let out a long, slow breath and turned away to find the Pack-n-Play, while Leah snagged the diaper bag and retreated to the bathroom.
Emily did not enjoy having her face scrubbed, but they managed it all right. Leah decided not to try and give her a bath. Instead, she got her into a clean diaper and a sleeper, and came out into the main room to see the Pack-n-Play set up next to the couch.
Jeff was frowning at it. “I think this is a good distance from the fire,” he said. “I put it close
enough that she’ll stay warm, even when it’s burning down in the middle of the night, but not so close it feels scorching or makes her too hot.”
Leah came over and stood next to it consideringly. “It feels fine right now,” she decided. “And believe me, if she gets uncomfortable in the middle of the night, she’ll let us know.”
Jeff raised his eyebrows, and Leah realized that what she’d said had sounded like they were going to be in bed together.
Was that what she wanted?
It was. No matter what happened, tonight she wanted to snuggle up next to this gorgeous, kind, wonderful man, to keep each other warm, and to feel his arms around her, making her feel safe and secure.
Emily grabbed her shirt.
“I have to nurse her real fast,” Leah said, smiling apologetically at Jeff. "It's the best way to get her to sleep. It won't take long—she doesn't want a meal, just the comfort of it."
"No problem," Jeff said, looking around. "I'll just go..."
"You don't have to," Leah said. "I'm not shy about nursing. But if it makes you uncomfortable..."
Breastfeeding made a lot of men very, very uncomfortable. Leah had never quite understood what it was, how breasts could be the sexiest, most desirable thing in the world to a man by themselves, but the second a baby was attached to them, the man had the sudden need to run the other way.
But Jeff said, "Okay. If you're sure you don't mind."