He wound the thick chain around his hand, trying to draw comfort from the reassuring richness of gold against his skin. “I…I…”
They said nothing, giving him space to speak if he chose. The warmth of their silent concern and friendship encircled him like a tropical lagoon.
Giving up, he sat down heavily on the edge of the bed. “I met my mate.”
All three of them gaped at him.
“You what?” Griff said.
“Congratulations!” yelled Chase.
“Oh no.” Hugh jabbed an accusing finger at John, looking as though he was personally offended by this revelation. “I distinctly recall you saying you didn’t have a mate. You promised you didn’t have a mate.”
“I shouldn’t have a mate.” John fisted his hands, the golden chain cutting into his knuckles. “This should be impossible!”
“She’s human, isn’t she?” Chase turned to Griff, a wide grin spreading across his face. “You owe me a beer.”
“And I thought I’d be pleased to lose that bet.” Griff’s forehead was still lined with concern. “But now I’m not so sure. John, why isn’t this a good thing?”
“Because she is human,” John said wretchedly. He dropped his head into his hands, running his fingers through his braided hair. “And even more than that, I am a Knight-Poet of the First Water. My oaths still apply. I cannot serve the Pearl Throne and also serve my mate.”
“Oh. I see.” Griff sat down on the bed next to him, the light touch of his shoulder against John’s a silent reassurance that the griffin shifter had his back, no matter what. “So that’s why you need to talk to your Knight-Commander. To resign.”
“Yes.” John was grateful that his oath-brother was taking the news so stoically. “I can no longer serve in my current role. I must beg the head of my Order to release me from my duty.”
Griff let out a long sigh. “I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. I’m so sorry. When will you be back?”
John raised his head to stare at Griff. “Back?”
“What, you thought we’d kick you off the team?” Chase said. “Of course you can come back. Fire Commander Ash hardly cares whether you’re a knight or not, after all.”
“Is the problem that you think your mate will want to stay here in Scotland?” Hugh said, sounding rather hopeful. “If you’ve both got careers at opposite ends of Britain, perhaps you could consider a long distance relationship? Physical contact is greatly overrated in my opinion.”
John had the sinking feeling that, not for the first time, his comrades had utterly misunderstood him. “No. When I said that I could no longer serve, I meant as Walker-Above-Wave. I can no longer be the Emissary to the Land. I will not be coming back.”
Silence spread out from his words. He could not bear to meet his friends’ shocked eyes.
He looked down at his gold-wrapped hand again. “I will miss you,” he said quietly. “I will miss you all. Please convey my regrets to Fire Commander Ash.”
“No.” Griff stood abruptly, turning so that they were eye-to-eye. He folded his thick arms across his broad chest. “You can tell him yourself, when he gets here for the wedding. He is your acting commander and you owe him the courtesy of at least handing in your resignation in person.”
Much as John did not want to admit it, his oath-brother was right. Fire Commander Ash was an honorable man, and a good leader. When John had been new onto land, the Phoenix had taken him under his wing, saying only that he too knew what it was like to be a stranger in a strange place. Though the reserved Fire Commander would never be a friend in the same way as the other members of Alpha Team, John owed him a debt of gratitude. He could not simply vanish without thanking the Phoenix for the honor of serving under him.
Slowly, he nodded. “You are right, oath-brother. I can delay my departure a few hours.”
“You’ll delay your departure longer than that.” There was an edge of anger in Griff’s usually calm, amiable voice. He glared across at John like a weapons-master about to discipline a particularly disappointing new novice. “Or have you forgotten that you have duties to me as well?”
Guilt stabbed him like a sword. In his selfish anguish, he had forgotten. He was supposed to be serving as Griff’s second at his mating ceremony. John was still somewhat unclear as to why a mating ceremony needed a second—or "best man" to use the human term—given that it seemed highly unlikely that any duels would be occurring, but it was still a position of great honor and responsibility.
“I did not think,” he admitted, ashamed of himself. “I beg your forgiveness. I will stay until after your mating ceremony, of course. But I cannot linger longer.”
“Why not?” Chase asked. “Why can’t you slow down, take some time to think this over before you go diving into the depths of the sea?”
Hugh raised an eyebrow at Chase. “Did you just actually tell someone to slow down? You?”
“I know, it’s a historic occasion. Seriously, John. Neither your Knight-Commander nor your mate are going anywhere.” Chase paused, a brief look of concern flickering over his expressive features. “Ah, she isn’t going anywhere, is she?”
A hollow laugh forced its way out of his chest. “The last time I saw her, sword-brother, she was fleeing from me in mortal terror.”