Griff was fairly certain he’d be able to get much more rest wedged into a kid-sized bed than he would trying to sleep surrounded by Hayley’s intoxicating scent. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather take Danny’s room.” He tried to make a joke of it, smiling at her. “I always did want dinosaur wallpaper when I was little.”
Hayley giggled, rather more loudly than the feeble jest deserved. “Well, I’ll get you some clean sheets, at least.”
Hayley started up the stairs, the white puff of the rabbit tail on her rear bobbing enticingly. Without conscious decision, Griff found that he was following her, as intently as a stalking lion. He wrenched his gaze upward, forcing himself to fix on the back of her head instead of the luscious curves of her backside.
Unfortunately, that just meant that when she turned around to say something, he inadvertently locked eyes with her.
“Oh,” Hayley gasped.
He quickly looked away, but he knew she’d already seen the hunger burning in his soul. “I’m fine. It’s just—I’ll be fine. Give me a moment.”
“Is it your beasts?” She stepped closer, putting a hand on his arm. Just that simple touch nearly broke his resolve. Only iron control kept him from crushing her up against the nearest wall and taking her there and then. “Are they fighting again?”
He let out his breath, shakily. “My beasts and I all want the same thing right now. That’s rather the problem.”
A flush crept up her neck. He could see her nipples stiffening through the soft clinging fabric of her dress, and his cock surged in answer. He knew he had to step back, put some distance between them, but he couldn’t force himself to move away.
“Rose said something strange to me tonight.” Hayley hadn’t moved back either. “She said I should ask you what you’re afraid of.” She hesitated, her eyes searching his face. “Is it…Griff, are you afraid it might happen again?”
He knew she meant his uncontrolled shift, after they’d made love. Her expression was open, vulnerable, demanding that he tell her the truth.
“No,” he said, honestly. “That doesn’t frighten me. Hayley, even if I knew for absolute certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that I’d die if I touched you again…I would do it, in a heartbeat. I would rather live for a single hour in your arms than another fifty years apart. I’m not afraid of dying.”
A tear overspilled, tracking down her cheek, but her eyes were steady, uncompromising. “So what are you afraid of?”
“Hurting you,” he whispered. He drew in a deep breath, bracing himself. “I can’t stand the thought of leaving you alone. It’s not only Reiner, and what it would mean for Danny. Even setting aside all those complications…Hayley, when I die, at least I won’t be in pain anymore. But I’m frightened that I’ll leave you in pain. I’m terrified that I’ll break your heart.”
“Isn’t that my risk to take?” Hayley looked fierce as a lioness, even through her tears. “Griff, your life is yours to risk or not, but it’s my choice what I do with my heart. Rose said I needed to have courage, if I was to be a lion’s match. I’m tired of wearing a mask, pretending that there’s nothing between us. Whether we ever touch again or not, nothing will change that fact that I love you. I’m not afraid of that. I’m not afraid of what that might mean, in future. I love you now. That’s all that matters.”
He pulled her into his arms, unable to hold back any longer. He kissed her fiercely, his hands coming up to cup her face. His heart swelled with joy and terror, until he felt like it might break in his chest from the sweet pain of it.
He pulled back a little, leaned his forehead against hers. “You have courage enough for both of us,” he said, his voice rough. “I’m the one who has to match you.”
He bent to claim her lips again. She melted into him, her mouth sweet and tender under his. Succumbing to his desire, he pushed her up against the wall, pressing the whole length of his body against her soft curves. His cock was a rigid bar between them. He craved to sink into her warmth, to be utterly enfolded by her.
“Griff,” she gasped, as he left her mouth to start kissing his way down her neck. Her hips thrust a little, helplessly, and he very nearly came in his kilt there and then. “Wait. Are you sure this is safe?”
It felt as hard as hauling his animals apart when they fought, but he managed to pull back from her. “You did say my life was mine to risk.”
“Yes, but…” Flushed pink with mingled desire and embarrassment, she bit her lip. “I’m going to sound like a complete hypocrite, but I’m scared of causing another one of your uncontrolled shifts.”
She had a point. He braced his hands against the wall on either side of her head, trying to control his ragged breathing. “Give me a second. I was caught by surprise last time. I’ll see if I can take some precautions.”
Closing his eyes, he forced himself to take stock of his soul. His lion and eagle were too blind with lust to even notice each other at the moment, but after last time, he knew that could change in an instant. Gritting his teeth, he repressed his beasts, using the discipline of long practice to lock them away. He strengthened their mental cages, building high, thick walls to keep them apart from both each other, and himself.
It was rather like putting on a full-body condom. He had a nagging, uncomfortable sense of a barrier between himself and the world, dimming all sensation. Still, it was better than risking an uncontrolled shift.
“There. That should be safer now.” He opened his eyes again, and Hayley made a small, startled sound. “What is it?”
“All the gold’s gone.” She traced the corner of his eye lightly with her fingertip. “You look…human.”
He wished that he could interpret her expression, but with his eagle chained, his perception was a tenth of its usual level. “I hope you’re not too disappointed. I am just a normal human at the moment, when my beasts are caged like this. But that’s the way it has to be.”
This is the way it might have to permanently be…He shoved the chilling thought back down.
“I’m not disappointed!” As if to prove it, Hayley slid her hands around his chest, drawing him back close again. “It’s you I love, not your powers. I’d love you even if you were only human.”
A shiver ran down his back at her unwittingly ominous words. He stopped her from saying anything more by kissing her, more slowly this time. It was different without his beasts’ urgency snarling through his blood, but she was still Hayley, his Hayley. She was still his mate.