He noticed the corners of Edit’s eyes crease into crows-feet, the corners of her mouth turn up, and only then did he realize he himself was grinning like a fool.
“Still willing,” said Callam.
“Not too offended,” agreed Edit.
They turned to look at Rohan in time for Callam to see the dragon-man beaming with every appearance of relief and eagerness to match Callam’s own. “Come on then, let’s go.”
He led them on, down more hallways, upstairs and through doors, some clearly built to dragon proportions, awkward even for Rohan’s long-limbed human form. The final door opened into what must be Rohan’s living space, a suite of a few rooms connected by wide archways rather than doors, and lit to glowing by the setting sun streaming in from a balcony off the main room. The main room also held a few dragon-style furnishings, including a large padded futon on a low platform. There Rohan sat and invited Edit and Callam to do likewise.
“Now we may talk, I hope! We will not be disturbed. Be at ease here,” he said, gesturing broadly. “Treat this as if if were your own home, as it will be once we are bonded.”
“About that,” said Edit, taking a seat at the futon’s edge nearby Rohan’s lounging sprawl, and pulling Callam down beside her when he would have wandered off to explore the dragon’s den. “You keep speaking of bonding as if it is some separate ritual beyond our being chosen and consenting to be your companions, but I still don’t know what it is. I would like to know. Surely that is permitted now? And why do we not proceed with it? You seemed to hope it would be soon, and we are willing, and not likely to change our minds.”
Rohan sat forward, surprised. “You are willing, yet you know nothing of it?”
“I know only rumors,” Edit confirmed. “I cannot credit the worst of them, having met you.”
“We didn’t speak of it,” Callam added, feeling responsible. “Not directly anyway. And I don’t know the specifics myself, only that it involves, um—”
“Biological exchange,” offered Rohan helpfully, at the same time as Callam pushed through his self-consciousness to finish, “—sex.” He was blushing again, unable to meet Rohan’s eyes but equally unable to avoid noticing everything but his eyes. It was not difficult to contemplate sex with that form.
“Not only sexual activity,” Rohan explained cheerfully. “It must include penetration without barriers, to ensure the exchange of energy and biomaterial. And it must be fully mutually enjoyed for the bond to be complete. That’s why I was so pleased to notice Callam’s response to the male form,” he continued.
Callam lost track of what Rohan was saying, struck by rush of desire, a sudden mental image of Rohan’s human shape kneeling over him, glistening bronze cock in hand, read to press between Callum’s cheeks—Penetration without barriers, fully mutually enjoyed. Oh yeah, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.
“That… might be a problem,” Edit said, in a tone of voice Callam had not heard from her before. It yanked his attention back to the present, replacing his interested anticipation with a chill sinking feeling.
He looked at Edit, but she was looking at Rohan. “The fully mutual enjoyment part,” she clarified. “If it means we must all reach completion with one another, in order to bond. I am willing, but I don’t know if I—” She shot Callam an apologetic look and changed tacks. “Callam is interested in men, Rohan. I think he is interested in men only. If he must—enjoy— me, I don’t know - Cal, can you even—”
The sinking feeling deepened. “I don’t know,” Callam confessed. “I don’t know if I can function with a woman.” I never wanted anyone to suspect my… lack, so I never put it to the test. I don’t know if I can even get it up for a woman, let alone enjoy enough to come. Not even to become a dragon’s bonded companion. But I could enjoy the hell out of Rohan – couldn’t that be enough? He argued with himself.
And it wouldn’t be just ‘a woman,’ who’d shame me for not responding like a normal man and maybe guess why, it’d be Edit, who knows what I am and doesn’t blame me … No, that’s worse. Taking advantage of her acceptance when I don’t desire her...she’s a friend. I can’t use her like that. There must be another way.
“How does bonding usually work?” he asked Rohan. “I’ve heard it said that dragons can compel—do you make us desire you, and each other, regardless of our natural preferences? Is that how it works?”
“Oh no,” the dragon answered, sounding somewhere between bemused and distressed.
“No, we can’t do that, and would not if we could. Affinity between companions arises naturally, assisted by circumstances, if the companions are well-chosen. And you seemed so compatible, more than most tributes! To be fair most newly chosen companions spend several days in proximity with their dragon in natural form before even beginning to contemplate bonding.
“Most of us are not so v
ery practiced in human form before bonding as I am,” he said smugly, “and some not even afterward, so I had supposed it was merely a time to become accustomed, but perhaps it has more purpose than that. I well know the dragon form has strange effects on unbonded humans, and that they can be considered unpleasant. I thought to spare you that discomfort as much as possible, but perhaps the experience is necessary to lay the groundwork for bonding, and we should—”
“And if it isn’t? Or it doesn’t make a difference? What happens if we can’t bond?” Edit’s voice still had that queer strained quality. “Is it all or nothing? Could you bond with us if we could not with each other? Or one of us? Could you bond with Callam, if I—fail?”
“Edit—” Callam protested. He thought single bondings must be possible - he had heard of dragons with only one human companion, though he couldn’t remember details, whether they’d begun that way or one of a trio had died or departed. But he and Edit were supposed to be in this together.
Rohan’s response was genuinely distressed. ”You mustn’t think of it as failing! If it must be anyone’s failing, the choice was mine! But there need not be fault; not all chosen complete bonding. If we cannot be companions, you will not be cast out, you will have the choices offered to all those who complete the testing, to stay as candidate for another choosing, or find work in these precincts among us but not of us, or to depart… but I hope none of that will be necessary, for you are my chosen companions and I want you both!”
Edit smiled, small and wry, and reached one hand toward Rohan as if she would reassure him. When he didn’t notice right away, so intently was he focused on her face, Callam took her other.
“I hope so too. It is only-- you should know that I haven’t ‘fully enjoyed’ sex before. I don’t know if I can. And no,” she turned to Callam, as his hand curled protectively around hers, “no one hurt me, to make me this way; did some misfortune turn you to favoring men?”
It was a rhetorical question, but he shook his head to show her that he understood. They understood each other. They had understood each other almost from the beginning, and Callam supposed this similarity might be a part of why.
Rohan looked no less distressed by this further revelation; if anything, perhaps more so. “Have you never enjoyed it at all?” he wondered. “Was it terribly unpleasant? How could you go through with it, once you knew?”
Edit shrugged. “With a considerate partner it’s tolerable enough.” Callam noticed inconsiderate partners went unmentioned. “I think you would be considerate, so I’m willing to try. I’ve never been with two partners at once, let alone a dragon. Perhaps it will be different this time, when it really matters. I do want to try, if – ” If being involved with a woman won’t ruin it for Callam, if my unlikely hope won’t be getting in the way of my friend’s almost-within- reach dream, if I’m really welcome, really wanted.