By Zoe Chant
Xi Yong found it much easier to hear people address his Daoshi, or mentor, as ‘Joey Hu’ instead of Tian Hu Jiu Wei when he encountered the respect in the eyes of the American university people, both professors and students. Then the name, too casual and too shorn of meaning, transformed to one of affection and respect. He found he could speak that name when he used English, but in his own mind the man who had taken him from an unbearable situation to one of hope would always be Daoshi Hu, or Mentor Fox.
So when Xi Yong saw his Mentor Fox come back from his evening at the high school with a smile that held kindness but no joy, and eyes full of pain, he, too, felt the pain.
The boy and girl wolves did not notice at first. Xi Yong liked them both. They reminded him of puppies in their exuberance and their quick-changing emotions, full of the brightness of life.
“Hey, was it fun, bossing high schoolers at a dance?” Vic asked.
Vanessa pushed up next to her brother, bouncing a little on her toes. Though both were in human form, they were cub-like as they bumped against each other in their anticipation and pride. “Did you see we cleaned up the place, so she’d like it? Uh, where is your mate?”
“She went home to a well-earned rest,” said Mentor Fox.
“Wait. I thought . . .” Vic began.
“She didn’t want . . . wasn’t it good?” Vanessa’s tone fell. Xi Yong could see her wolf-shadow drooping, tail down.
“It was an excellent evening,” Mentor Fox said, in the light voice he used when shielding others from his emotional turmoil.
“But?” Vanessa asked.
“Friend-zoned,” Mentor Fox said.
“I thought . . . I thought that didn’t happen with mates. That it was one look and fireworks.” Vanessa clapped her hands. “Next thing you know, wedding bells and everything.”
“Idiot.” Her brother affectionately cuffed the back of her head. “No rush for weddings. Fun first!”
Xi Yong hesitated. He did not want to admonish them—they were too new to one another for that—but how long would it take for them to see how their words hurt their grand-uncle?
Mentor Fox forced a smile as he led the way into the house. “Oh, I haven’t given up. The hardest challenges are always the most worthwhile.”
The twin wolves brightened instantly, their wolf shadows pricking ears and tails flagging. Xi Yong liked them the more for their flow of good spirits.
“We should get our rest as well,” Mentor Fox said. “We have a hard hunt ahead of us.”
“Got it, boss,” Vic said, throwing his fingers up in a salute.
The twins ran off.
Xi Yong waited to see if his mentor wished to speak.
“I failed,” Mentor Fox said in Chinese, letting his pain show. “But I’ll keep trying. Always.” His aura rippled, the shades of blue warming toward green and gold. “No one ever told me how painful it is when one’s mate will not, or cannot, respond. It’s good for me to understand from the heart, and not just from the head, how it feels when one’s mate can’t hear, or feel, the promise of joy that their mate has to offer.”
Xi Yong remembered the quiet woman from the lunch party. Hers was what he thought of as a water nature, clean and good, but its current now flowed too fast, over rocks and ever narrowing banks. Those rocks and shoals must be the result of difficult life experience. “Does she not sense it?”
“The evening was wonderful until the very end. I think she sensed the bond. Yes. I did see the awareness in her eyes. My mistake was in suggesting we meet again, just the two of us. I thought we both had a good time. What could be more natural than to take this next step?”
Xi Yong waited as Mentor Fox sank into a chair and put his head in his hands. “But not to her, it seems. The worst of the pain I feel right now is remembering how Doris shrank into herself after my question. I had in one moment lost all her trust, tentative as it was. Why can’t she trust? I don’t believe that was caused by a single encounter. It seems more a role—or an anti-role—that Doris’s life circumstances have forced her into. That sort of thing isn’t cured with compliments, no matter how genuine.”
He sighed. “So I parked the car a few miles off and took a run to clear my head before facing the twins. I know you comprehend the pain of being required to deny one’s nature, whatever that might be. But say the word if my unburdening creates a burden for you.”
“I am honored to listen,” Xi Yong said, with a bow to show his sincerity.
Mentor Fox’s aura lightened with relief.
“You know my own fear,” Xi Yong said.
Mentor Fox put his hands together. “I truly believe that there is a possible mate for everyone. I respect your grandmother greatly. She is an excellent person in both mythic form and human. But her desire for descendants influences how she defines the world. She is wrong that only males and females can bond as mates. I believe, very firmly, that love transcends the conventional views of gender.”