“Well,” Pauline said, “I may not always know when I’m out of my depth, but last night really cinched it. I can’t do anything about this wolf pack by myself—definitely not when Drew keeps on refusing my help. I need someone else.”
“Why do you think he’s pushing you away?” Carlos asked thoughtfully. “Pride? Fear?”
“Both of those,” Pauline said heavily. “I’m sure he’s afraid of what will happen if anyone finds out his mother is truly missing. And he’s right to be. I couldn’t promise him that the kids would stay together. Maybe if I’d been approved as a foster mom, I could get someone to agree to let me take them all in, since I’d want to keep them together. But I wasn’t.”
Carlos’ eyebrows went up. “You applied to be a foster parent?”
Pauline nodded emphatically. “After Gary and I divorced—well, I couldn’t find any other man I’d trust to be a father to my children.” Gary, if she was honest, probably shouldn’t have made the cut either, even if he’d wanted kids too, but she’d been young and in love. “So I thought I’d try to do it myself. I didn’t have the money for IVF or anything like that, and there’s so many kids in the world who need parents, anyway...but they said no. Single, too low of an income.”
She’d been hoping that saying it quickly and matter-of-factly like that would make it hurt less, but it didn’t. That final dashing of her hopes had been a deep stab in her heart since it had happened, and it wasn’t lessening anytime soon.
“I’m sorry.” Carlos’ voice was low, and when she looked up, his eyes were dark and compassionate. She felt suddenly, oddly warmed with the thought that he might understand.
“Did you ever want a family?” she asked impulsively.
He sat back a little, though not far enough that their hands slipped apart. “I—I never thought I could do one justice,” he said after a minute.
Pauline frowned. “Why not? You’re—kind, hardworking, well-off...”
He smiled. “I wasn’t always well-off. I grew up very, very poor. My dad left when I was young, and my mom didn’t have nearly enough to really provide for me and my brothers. I joined the Marines to have the kind of security I’d never known growing up, and I promised myself I’d never do that to my own kids. And that didn’t just mean money—my mom worked long, awful hours. She was never around, because she needed to be making money to put food on our table.”
Pauline tried to imagine that. Single mom to—brothers must mean at least three kids.
Was that what she’d be doing, if she somehow managed to get custody of Drew, Troy, and Val?
It would be different, she told herself. Drew was old enough to work, too, or to take care of his siblings while she was at work.
But still. The idea sent a little bit of a chill through her. She didn’t have an extensive family here. She knew how Stella had struggled when she was young, taking care of Eva.
She’d never been able to reconcile that real problem, the knowledge that single motherhood was incredibly tough on everyone, with the crawling need inside her to be a mom.
“So,” Carlos continued, “I couldn’t put my imaginary kids in that same situation. When I was in the Marines, I was overseas for months at a time, and there was always a risk I’d get killed. When I went into the business world, I went with the full intention of working every hour God gave me to succeed as well as I possibly could. It wouldn’t have been right to start a family, not if I’d be prioritizing something else ahead of them.”
“Plenty of men do,” Pauline said quietly.
“I’m not plenty of men.” Carlos spoke with an air of finality.
No, you aren’t, Pauline couldn’t help but think.
“So the way I see it,” he continued after a minute, “no matter what else happens, this kid needs to get away from these wolves. And there’s no way we can make that happen without knowing how he’s involved and what he’s doing for them, and it’ll be a lot harder to do anything at all without his cooperation. So we have to talk to him.”
Pauline let out her breath. Relief was filling her like warm sunlight. Not only was Carlos going to help, she could already tell that his practical, get-things-done attitude was going to be invaluable.
“His shift at Safeway is ending in just a few minutes,” she said, checking her phone. “We can meet him as he comes out.”
“Great,” Carlos said. “Let’s get going.”
***
Carlos
When Pauline had said she had a problem, Carlos had been expecting money troubles, or issues with a pushy customer, or something that was causing her difficulties.
He hadn’t expected to hear about three kids who needed a parent.
But the passion in Pauline’s voice when she’d talked about them, about how they’d been abandoned, the help that they so clearly, desperately needed—and how much Pauline wanted to provide that help—it had moved him more deeply than he knew how to admit.
He was going to help Pauline help these kids. There was no question about it—they weren’t going to be in trouble anymore, not once he was done here.