But then running from her, knowing that she was behind him...he’d left himself vulnerable in ways that he wouldn’t have in any kind of serious pursuit, because, well, he’d wanted her to catch him.
And she had.
Nate watched her sleep for a while, overcome by a sort of fierce tenderness, a deep but vulnerable protective instinct that he’d never felt before. Inside his chest, his panther purred.
Eventually, Stella blinked and yawned. It was unbearably cute, like one of the kitten pictures from the Internet that Connie was always sending him.
Nate stretched, resisted the urge to nuzzle her awake—seriously, what was wrong with him?—and shifted to human.
Stella shook herself, licked a paw, and focused on him. After a long look from those bright topaz eyes, she blurred and shifted as well. “Mmm,” she said. “Sorry for falling asleep.”
Nate tried to conceal how much that low, satisfied, post-nap noise had affected him. “Don’t apologize. You must have been tired.”
Stella nodded, yawning. “I haven’t been sleeping too well.” She rubbed her eyes. “Should we get back?”
“If you want.”
Stella was looking out at the view from their little ledge. “Maybe in a few minutes,” she said finally. “Ken and Lynn will keep an eye on Eva. Not that she needs it.”
“She seems like a responsible kid.”
Stella nodded. “She’s more responsible than I am. She takes after Lynn more than me, I think—although Lynn was never into technology like Eva is. But the way she plans things, makes sure nothing’s going to go wrong before she makes a move...that’s Aunt Lynn through and through.”
“Must be nice not to have to worry about her,” Nate said tentatively.
Stella nodded slowly. “Yes, although—I don’t worry about her running wild, getting arrested or getting pregnant or into drugs or anything like that. But I worry sometimes that she’s too responsible. And that maybe it’s my fault, for not taking on that responsibility myself when she was little.”
“You don’t know that for sure,” Nate protested.
Stella sighed. “You didn’t know me when I was younger. I haven’t always been the greatest mom. Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent my entire life—so, her entire life—searching for a purpose. The right way to go.” She smiled a littl
e, but there was a tinge of regret to it, too. “Eva had to get really good at being my navigator, because I was always the one who’d say, ‘This looks pretty, let’s take this turn and see where it goes!’ And then we were lost, but Eva would always study the map and get us back on track. Too much responsibility to put on your kid, I think.”
“Sounds like you make a good team, though,” Nate offered.
Stella smiled, and he could see the love for her daughter shining through. “We really do. She grounds me, makes me remember to plan for what’s ahead, and I’m always trying to lighten her up, make sure she enjoys the moment. When she’s doing exams, she stresses out so much, I always do something to make her laugh. Silly hats, or little notes with jokes on them, or one-minute dance party breaks.”
“One-minute dance party breaks?” Nate asked, laughing.
Stella nodded, keeping a serious face. “Dance parties are very important.” Then the smile broke through. “You can’t neglect your important dance party duties.”
“Of course not.” Nate played along. “Don’t want to offend the gods of the dance party.”
She laughed, bright and sparkling. “That’s good! Next exam period maybe I’ll make a little altar for the dance party gods.”
Nate shook his head, smiling. “Sounds like you’re a good mom. I wouldn’t worry.”
Stella grimaced. “I hope so. And then next year she’s going to go to college, and I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“She’s planning on college? Good for her,” Nate approved.
“Yeah, although—well, I guess I do know what I’ll do next year, which is work my butt off to make enough money to pay for it. Part of it. As much of it as I can. It’s the least I can do, after dragging her all over the state for her whole childhood.”
“Sounds like an adventure to me,” Nate said. “And no mom who’s planning to devote her life to earning money for her kid’s education should call herself a bad mother.”
Stella smiled at him. “That’s sweet. I guess...we all do our best.”
“Angels can’t do better,” Nate said automatically, and then paused.