“What is?”
“He’s lied so much to me over the course of our whole relationship,” I said. “And yet… I still don’t doubt that he loves me. Somehow I can’t bring myself to believe that that was ever a lie.”
“You’re lucky in that at least,” he said. “I’ve never been in love.”
“Never?”
“It’s not as common as you think,” Seth said. “People think they’re in love all the time… it doesn’t mean you are.”
“No, I suppose not,” I said. “Seth…?”
“Yes?”
“Does that make me a fool… for walking away from something… amazing?”
“I can’t possibly say, Zo,” Seth said seriously. “That’s for you to say, not me.”
I shook my head. “I can’t,” I said. “I gave him two chances… and he betrayed my trust over and over again. I need to focus on myself and… try to move on.”
“Great,” Seth said. “I’m fully in support of that.”
I smiled. “I might need your help to get the rest of my stuff out of our apartment,” I said, realizing as I spoke that I could no longer refer to it as ‘our’ apartment any longer.
“Of course,” Seth nodded. “You don’t need to be there you know. You could just give me the keys and the instructions, and I can pack up your stuff for you.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said. “I asked Devlin not to be there when I come by to collect the rest of my things. The coast will be clear.”
“And you think he’ll keep his word and stay away?” Seth asked doubtfully.
I paused. “Funnily enough… I do think he’ll keep his word.”
“Ok then,” Seth said.
I was intensely grateful to my brother. He was the one constant in my life. He was the one person I could count on no matter what. Mom was always unpredictable, and she was always on some emotional rollercoaster that left me flailing behind… but Seth was the rock in the family. He deserved to be happy too.
“I never thought Cory was good enough for you, you know,” I said.
Seth smiled. “You never mentioned it.”
“Because you were involved with her,” I said. “And I didn’t want to… piss you off.”
“You could never piss me off,” Seth said. “In fact… from now on I would appreciate it if you could be honest about my girlfriends. I’d rather know early on if you think I’m making a mistake. Sometimes when you’re too close to a situation or a person, the people around us might be able to see clearer than we can.”
“Ok,” I nodded. “I’ll be honest with you… for better or worse.”
Seth laughed. “Good.”
“Will you do the same for me?”
“Definitely.”
“Ok,” I smiled.
I thought about Devlin and the fact that I found myself homeless once again and the smile slid off my face. I had thought my dreaded roommate curse was finally behind me, but apparently, it had only been lying in wait. I felt the bubble of sadness engulf me, and I knew that the next few months would be the hardest for me.
I needed to readjust to life without Devlin. I needed to re-envision my life now… without him. It felt wrong… like trying to squeeze your feet into shoes that no longer fit. But that was just my heart talking, and I reminded myself that hearts could heal… no matter how broken they might be.
33