I wanted Jake. I wanted him so bad it hurt, and nothing I did was going to change that. I knew what was going to happen. I’d come every time he called, let him rail me sideways. Then, when he was done, I’d just end up wanting more, so I’d push for it. But I wouldn’t beg him or try to talk him into being with me.
I had my way. I’d try to impress him and listen to him and make sure that I always wore the nicest outfits. Then I’d look for little signs to see whether my efforts were working, even though it’d be obvious that he didn’t want me. By the time he got tired of me and decided to move into his next conquest, I’d end up getting my heart broken.
I knew better than to get my hopes up, but I wouldn’t be able to help it. This kind of thing had a way of getting into people’s heads and playing tricks on them. Any sign of interest on his part would be another thing to cling to, another reason to have hope.
In the end, this was the right thing to do, not for me, or my student loans. My father needed me. Every time I woke up, he was the first thing that came to mind and the last thing I thought of when I went to bed. I used to stay up at night haunted by images of the way he used to be.
He was, and would always be, the most powerful man I’d ever met. He carried the weight of our household, working two, sometimes three jobs at a time just so we could eat and pay our bills. He didn’t do that because he wanted to. He did it out of devotion. I owed it to him to do the same, even if it meant demeaning myself. His life mattered more.
I still couldn’t find anything to distract myself. I decided to go to a coffee shop and order something to drink on the way to Jake’s house. That took up nearly a half an hour, which meant that after the drive to Jake’s, I’d only be a half hour early. It was ridiculous, but when he answered the door, he didn’t seem to notice.
He had a toothy grin and look of pure desire on his face. “I can’t wait to rip those clothes off you.”
“Yeah?” I bit my bottom lip and ignored the fluttering feeling my stomach.
“Yeah.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me in, then slammed the door behind me and pushed me into it. His body was pressed against mine, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. “You’re so fucking hot.” He reached in, his face so close that I could practically taste his peppermint breath. He was going to kiss me. I closed my eyes and readied myself for it. My heart pounded. I’d been waiting to taste his lips all week.
A sharp jolt, and he kissed me behind the ear. He pulled the skin up and dug his teeth in. When he pulled back, I opened my eyes. He was already walking through the living room entrance to my left. “I hope you don’t mind. I thought we’d change things up a bit today. My brother is having a barbecue, and I wanted to bring you along.”
I followed him into the living room and stood at the entrance rather awkwardly with my hands folded. “That’s fine.” I couldn’t look at him, but I could see him staring at me. “Is what I’m wearing okay?” I asked when I could bear the silence any longer.
“Yeah, it’s fine.” He walked over to where I stood and lifted my chin so he could look me in the eye. I should’ve jerked away and ran out the door, but I didn’t. Instead, I stared up at him.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay with this? I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
How nice, I thought to myself. A man sleazy enough to get me off and nice enough to make me want him. He was the perfect trap, and I was already caught up in him. “I’m fine.” I pulled away. “Are you sure I shouldn’t change? It’s not a formal thing, is it? I have other options.”
“It’s fine.”
“Good, so talk to me. Have you told them anything about me?”
“No, they don’t even know you’re coming. So you can say whatever you want to. We’ll just work on the basics.”
“Okay. How long have we been together?”
“Five months. Long enough that it could be serious, but it’s still a little casual.” He led me back to the couch, and we sat down together.
“Where do you work?” I ask.
“I’m the owner of Corbin Enterprises.”
“What does that mean? You’re the boss, right?”
“Yes. We own and manage a bunch of restaurants and bars. If they ask you about it, tell them that I work a lot and change the subject. It’s too complicated.”
“What’s your last name?”
“Ryan, but that won’t matter.”
“Your middle name?”
“Yeah, I should probably go over all of this. My middle name is Alexander. My brother’s name is Andrew, but you can call him asshat, because his beard looks like pubic hair.” I laughed, and he went on. “His wife’s name is Elizabeth, but I always pretend to forget. I call her the first wife.”
“You’re terrible.”
“They hate me, but they pretend not to.” He pulled out his phone. “This is why I’m going.” He turned it around to show me a picture of a toddler wearing a tiara and a pink leotard with a tutu. She had chocolate smeared all over her face.
“Aww.” I couldn’t stand it. I had to see her. “What’s her name?”