“You’ve really got to let go of this guilt you’re always feeling. So, your mom used her connections to get you a spot in a gallery show. Use it to your advantage! Don’t waste all your energy feeling bad about it.”
“I’m not going to, which is why I need to actually spend time working on it.”
Tara nodded. “Okay, fair enough. But you’re not going to be spending all summer doing that. You’ll have time for other things, too. And I really think one of those things should be finding a guy to sleep with. You really don’t know what you’re missing out on.”
I was almost wishing that the conversation would go back to Michael. I knew that most people my age had slept with at least one person, and had gotten drunk a few times, but neither of those things seemed that important when I was so busy with school. I didn’t want to be like so many other kids who just used college as four years to go out and party while their parents paid for their tuition and living expenses. Yeah, my dad was paying for my apartment and footing the bill for school, but I wanted to make something of myself, I wanted to find success after school without the help from my parents. I wanted to show them that, regardless of what they thought, I could do something with my art.
But there was also a small part of me that did just sort of want to let loose, that didn’t want to be so wrapped up in guilt, that wished I could be more like Tara and just not give a shit about anything except having a good time. To have that sort of attitude made it seem like life would be a lot easier—in some ways, anyway.
I reached over and took another big gulp of wine, ignoring the taste as it burned its way down my throat. My cheeks felt warm, but everything else seemed to soften a bit around the edges. I felt a smile spread across my face, and laughter escaping from lips without me really having much control over it. It felt good.
“I’m going to challenge you to find a guy that you can sleep with this summer. Some guy that’s not going to be the love of your life—just someone that you can sleep with and then forget about once summer is over. It’s the perfect scenario—trust me, I’ve done it a bunch of times myself.”
Chapter Five
Graham
Saturday night and it was slow, which, while not great for business, was a nice change in pace to how the last several Saturdays had been. After about an hour’s lull, I told Helena she could take off if she wanted. Unless we had a few walk-ins, I figured I’d work on some art and have a quiet night, which lasted all of 20 minutes before Todd showed up, not looking his usual optimistic self.
“I was stood up.” He frowned and shook his head in amazement. “Can you believe it?”
“It happens.”
“Has it ever happened to you?”
“No. But whatever, she obviously has no clue what she’s missing out on. Don’t take it so hard.”
I had to admit, it was a little surprising to see how bothered by it he seemed. True, I’d never been stood up before, but I had to imagine that it wouldn’t be that big of a deal if it did happen—it wouldn’t be something that I couldn’t just shake off.
“No call or anything, though. And it’s not like this was a blind date or anything—I’ve seen her around. She knew what I looked like.”
I patted him on the back and decided not to bring up his earlier tirade about overanalyzing shit. “Let’s go get a drink,” I said. “It’s been slow as shit. I can close up a little early.”
But no sooner had I said that when the door opened. Talk about timing. Two girls stumbled in, giggling. Todd perked up instantly. They were probably in their early 20s, both attractive, though one was obviously trying harder than the other. She was the more forward one, and she marched right up to the counter and threw her purse down.
“Hello,” she said, and I could smell alcohol on her breath, though she didn’t seem too bad off. “I want a tattoo. Have I come to the right place?”
She had dark blonde hair with highlights, cut just above her shoulders in choppy layers. Her eyes were large, light brown; she was a little bit bug-eyed. She had a carefree, entitled air about her that immediately gave her away as one of the rich summer residents. She blinked her mascara-caked eyelashes at me and let a coy half-smile appear on her lips.
“I might be able to help you out,” I said.
“That’s good. My name’s Tara, by the way. I’ve got a few tattoos, and maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you see where they are. And this is Chloe. She’s also going to get a tattoo. This would be her first one.” Tara leaned across the counter. “She’s a virgin.”
“Tara!” Chloe’s face turned bright red, and she looked quickly over at me before averting her eyes. “Will yo
u shut up.”
“I meant a tattoo virgin,” Tara said. “So, she’ll probably want to start with something small.”
Todd was watching all of this with an amused look on his face. “I could help you ladies decide,” he said. “Unless you already had something in mind.”
“My mind’s made up,” Tara said. “I want an anchor—right here.” She traced a finger over the outside of her right ankle. “But Chloe here might need some help deciding. Or maybe not. She’s an art student, so she’s probably got some ideas. Right?”
The redness still hadn’t completely subsided yet from Chloe’s cheeks. “I’m not sure,” she said. She looked at me apologetically for a second before averting her eyes back down to the floor. “I thought I wanted ... I mean ... I just don’t know.”
“I’m sure people come in here all the time not exactly knowing,” Tara said. “You can give suggestions, right?”
“I have,” I said. “But we were actually just about to close up.” I could tell both girls were a little tipsy, and I didn’t give tattoos to drunk people.