How did love and marriage turn into something so awful? Lionel’s accusation that I was selfish still stung.
The truth was no matter how angry I felt about him cheating and the drugs, I’d spent the last two years questioning if I was the problem. I couldn’t bring myself to say I should have never married him. I loved Juniper too much to think that, but I still questioned every other choice I’d made during the marriage.
No. I couldn’t let myself start thinking that way. He cheated on me, and I wasn’t frigid. I wasn’t the selfish one.
He was the selfish one who somehow always managed to make me question myself and make himself the victim. An adulterer as the victim. Mama was right. We might all be sinners, but he was the cheater.
Whatever I did, I needed to make sure it was the best thing for Juniper, and it was so hard to sort out my own feelings from my concerns over her. For now, I’d not worry about it until she was out of the hospital. It wasn’t like I could start a major legal battle with Lionel with my daughter still in a bed with an IV in her arm.
I sighed. Men were just too much trouble.
* * *
I smiled down at Juniper as she started snoring lightly. Mama had already headed out, and I’d finished reading one of her favorite bedtime stories. I figured it was just as good for a daytime nap as nighttime.
I wasn’t sure if she’d be able to get to sleep with all her coughing, but at least now she seemed to be getting some rest. Peaceful, if only for a little while.
My own eyelids were more than a little heavy. I didn’t even know if I could claim I’d gotten any real sleep the night before. My body ached, and exhaustion clouded my brain. There was only so much the awful hospital coffee could do.
Juniper’s pale face and sweaty head showed how much her illness was taking out of her. I pulled out a handkerchief from my purse and wiped her forehead with a sigh.
I hoped that the new medicine would kick in soon, but I figured it’d take more than a few hours. From what the doctor said, we’d know sooner than later.
My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out of my purse, praying it wasn’t Lionel. I couldn’t take his crap at that moment, and I doubted he’d suddenly developed a conscience.
To my relief, it was Logan.
I swiped to open my phone. “Hello,” I said quietly.
“I wanted to stop by, but I’m stuck in meetings for most of the day.”
“You really don’t have to.”
“I know, but I want to.”
I smiled. “That’s very sweet of you.”
“How is Juniper doing? Has she built a LEGO Eiffel Tower already?” He chuckled.
I nibbled my lip for a moment, wondering if I should downplay the truth. It might not be fair to worry Logan. Juniper wasn’t his daughter, and he had his company to worry about. Still, I was touched he called.
I exhaled slowly before speaking. “The doctor said things got worse last night. They are using a different medicine. Stronger.”
“Damn.” I could hear tapping for a few seconds before he spoke again. “Do you want me to arrange transportation to a different facility? I don’t know who to contact right off, but I have people who can help me with the right referrals.”
This was the difference between being merely wealthy and being a billionaire. I’d grown up in a household with plenty of money, but the idea of sending someone out of the hospital while doctor shopping wasn’t something that ever occurred to either Mama or me.
I waved my free hand by reflex, even though he couldn’t see it. “No, no. That’s okay. The doctors seem like they know how to deal with what’s going on.” I let out a long sigh. “We’ll just see how she is by tomorrow.”
“I’ll make some arrangements, just in case.”
“I really can’t ask you to do that. It’s too much.” Maybe I should have rejected the offer more firmly, but the worry about Juniper getting worse wouldn’t leave my head.
“Don’t worry. I’m happy to do it. If we don’t need it, then we don’t need it, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared. I only want to make it clear I’ll do what it takes to make sure Juniper is healthy.”
I slapped my free hand over my face to stifle my gasp.
“What was that, Emily? I didn’t hear you.”