What was wrong? I didn't know how Keno and Makani were just letting it be. Did she do this often? Was that why they were easy breezy about it? She was just so great all the time, happy and optimistic. This wasn't like her. Something was wrong, and I knew it would eat at me until I knew what it was.
Where the fuck are you, Abby? I thought. Why the hell didn't she come here? I could have helped her, whatever it was. I wanted to help her. Look at all the shit she had already done for me. It all felt like so long ago, that night she kept me from using; we were right here on the bed. It was the first night we spent together, right after coming back from...
Fuck. That was it. I stood up and bolted for the door. I needed to find Keno — I knew where she was. I used the stairs, racing down them and walking quickly out to the bar. Keno was still there, but Makani had gone.
"Hey, you're back," he said.
"Yeah. Listen, I need to ask you a favor," I said hurriedly.
"What is it?"
"Can I borrow your car? I need to go somewhere, like, right now."
"Sure, no problem," he said, reaching into his pocket, handing me a bunch of keys. "Where are you going?"
"I can't explain, but it's important," I said. He smiled knowingly.
"Just have it back by the time my shift is over. Go get her."
Chapter Thirty
Abby
I watched a turtle shuffle slowly out of the water up onto the beach. I had been sitting there for a while, but I'd lost track of time. I wasn't crying anymore. Now I was just tired. My mind wasn't racing anymore. I was just upset. Shaken.
I hadn't thought about what I would do if anyone knew who I was in a long time. I mean, I wasn't even that person anymore. I hadn't used that name or looked like that in years.
It was like being dunked headfirst into really cold water. Part of me thought I should have known that it would happen eventually, and the other half was just really comfortable believing everything had happened in the past and the rest of the world had left it there like I had.
I hated it had been that easy to unsettle me. It wasn't like I was in danger or anything. My father was dying in prison. I wasn't in contact with anybody who had known me in the past, and if they wanted to track me down, they wouldn't be able to. I had changed my name, and years had changed my appearance.
All that was left was that scar.
Was that what had given it away? I wasn't even sure that that was common knowledge. I had never read any of the articles written about what had happened. Why would I? I had been there. I knew what had happened. I'd probably never forget.
It was just upsetting. That was it. I had left Texas. I hadn't even stepped foot on the mainland since I had landed on Lanai. As far as I was concerned, Frances McCune didn't exist anymore. Abby Terrell had taken her place. She had made something of herself and had a place she could call home, far away from the ugly things that had happened. She had friends, people who loved her. People who treated her like a normal girl and not a sideshow freak because of the things that her father had done.
I hated that it was still who I was: that monster's daughter. I hated that as much as I had tried, I wasn't allowed to just be me anymore. I’d had my life taken from me, and all the years here that I had spent trying to have something that I could call mine because I had built it by myself were all for nothing. He hadn't killed me, but Randall McCune — my father — had taken my life.
I concentrated on the natural sounds around me. The water and the wind. I concentrated on what was real and what I could feel. The things that mattered. It calmed me down, coming here and being able to hear my own thoughts. I was alone, but it wasn't lonely. It was noisy, but it wasn'
t deafening. My own little place I knew I could run when it was me who had made the choice to. Not where I had to hide because my father had made living impossible.
I thought about going back, but I wasn't ready yet. The worst had passed; now I just wanted to regroup before I had to pretend like nothing was wrong again. I knew I could do it. It would just take time, more time to get me back to a place where it didn't plague me so much anymore.
I looked behind me, suddenly hearing a sound. There was someone else on the beach. I smiled sadly realizing who it was.
I sat quietly as he approached and sat next to me in his dark jeans and shirt.
"How did you know where to find me?" I asked him.
"You told me this is where you came to get away," he said.
"Why did you come after me if you knew that was what I wanted to do?"
"Because you were there for me when I needed you. I wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Well, you can see," I said shrugging. "I'm fine."