"We're not talking about Nate anymore," I said to her, changing the subject. "But if you have to know, we had a good time."
"Did he like Keahiakawelo?"
"He thought it was cool. Good call."
"Was it busy?"
"Just a few other people," I said.
We had almost been completely alone. I didn't want to call it a date, though. Makani didn't know how close she was to hitting the nail on the head. The longer we were there together, the more relaxed and playful Nate had gotten, which had been the exact thing that I had wanted to happen. We weren’t going on dates. Perhaps taking him out on excursions was my job now, but he was still a person who needed help.
If I could get him to forget, maybe he’d remember when he wasn’t like that and didn’t need drugs. Nate Stone of Remus fame wasn’t the guy in the Hulopoe suite. He was the guy that this Nate needed to be for his for his job, for the public.
I liked him, but he didn’t need another person to like him. He needed someone to help him. I needed to remember that if I was going to be that person.
Makani's commute from her place in the city to the hotel was about fifteen minutes by car, not that bad, but mine was a walk down to the beach for about the same amount of time. She had parked her car by my place that morning when she'd come in so we could walk up together.
She was now on my bed, waiting for me to bring the food out. I felt like I hadn't really had that much time with her since I had been on tour guide duty with Nate.
I had cobbled together a bunch of leftovers into what I hoped was a passable fried rice. I grabbed the two plates and joined her. Since we’d talked about Nate at work already, she hadn’t brought him up again. Not that I needed help not thinking about him, but I wished I could tell her about what I had seen him doing. It wasn’t my truth to tell, so I wasn’t going to, but it wasn’t looking forward to trying to keep the secret.
"I had some eggs in the fridge, so I just threw them in there, too,” I said, handing her a plate.
"Great. Can I ask you something?" she asked me.
"Of course." I settled on the bed next to her.
&nb
sp; "Do you think I made a mistake leaving Keno?"
"Did something happen?"
She sighed, shoveling some food onto her fork and spilling it off. "This is so dumb. I saw him during the day; he had gone into the changing room to get another shirt or something. There was this woman, a guest who stopped him when he came back out. They were talking in the front lobby before they left together to go back to the bar. I know we aren't together anymore, and he can talk to whoever he wants, but I just thought as more time passed that it would get easier for me. Not worse."
"You still have feelings for him," I said.
"I think I just miss what we had: being with someone. It was nice. Comfortable," she said, deflecting. "We were together for a long time."
"Are you sure it's the relationship and not the person you had it with?"
"We can't get back together," she said dismissively. Was that what she was thinking about? I hadn't even mentioned it.
"I think you're the only person on the island who thinks that," I said.
"We broke up for a reason."
"I know you did, but that doesn't mean it can't still hurt."
"I just couldn't do what he was asking me," she said.
"Yes, you could have, Makani," I said. She looked up at me.
"What?"
"Yes, you could."
"He was talking marriage, a family. He couldn't ask me to give my life up to do that with him."