“Oh, she just told you. We’re not interested. By the way, about your problem, your hotel concierge should be able to tell you where to visit.”
“Let me take your number, so I can call you later if you change your minds,” he said.
“Nope, we’re good,” I said lightly. The guy looked stunned. This had probably worked for him before. It was probably worse on the bigger islands, but we got our creeps, too.
“Why, are you married or something?” he blurted out.
“Because even if I gave you my number, you wouldn’t know what to call me,” I said. Makani laughed. The one with the crew cut whispered something to his friend, and they awkwardly said they were going to check out more of the beach. We watched them leaving.
"Poor guys. That blond one really liked you," Makani said.
"He'll survive," I said, resting my head back down on my towel.
"Would you? You know, with a tourist?" she asked.
"Tourists leave. I don't want to be anyone's two-week summer fling before they go back home."
"I don't know. That guy looked about ready to emigrate for you," she joked. I pulled a face, making her laugh.
"Hard pass," I said.
"My God, Abby. You'll never have a relationship with standards that high," she said. I shrugged, laughing.
"I'll always have you," I said.
"You know what I mean. By the way, whatever happened to that singer guy you like?"
I froze. Nate. I had been trying not to think about the last conversation we had and what I had seen in his suite. Him passed out with a needle in his arm. I'd never be able to forget that. It gave me chills just thinking about it. I hadn't told Makani anything. In fact, I hadn't brought him up at all.
It was none of my business after all, right? That's what he had said. He didn't want any help. I hadn't seen him since in the lobby or anywhere else for that matter. He hadn't called the front desk. I was going to take that to mean he was fine.
Either that, or he had been in a coma for four days and nobody had discovered his unconscious body yet. I shrugged.
"Haven't really seen him. Are you hungry?" I asked, changing the subject.
She wasn't. The sun was getting higher, and the beach was getting a little crowded, though, so we ended up going inside after a little while. We stayed in until lunch, deciding to go eat somewhere in the city. We had the whole day in front of us.
We ended up shopping in the city before stopping at a bar for drinks. Because of all the tourists we got, we had an interesting mix of higher and lower end spots, some obviously meant for tourists with predictably inflated prices and others obviously meant for locals. It was like two different worlds. Sort of like the island: the old plantation buildings and historical sites sharing space with places like the Four Seasons, ultra-modern and new.
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The sun had gone down by the time we were done, and Makani dropped me off before driving herself home. I had a quick shower and got into a long t-shirt to go to sleep. I wasn’t that tired, but there was nothing I really wanted to do that night that was going to keep me awake.
Since we’d been busy the whole day, I had managed pretty well not to think about what she had said earlier when the guys on the beach had tried to pick us up. It came up so often that it didn’t usually bother me, but sometimes I wondered how long it would take. I knew I was the only thing holding myself back, and I knew that I wasn’t going to be like this forever. I didn’t know when I could stop feeling guarded.
These days, months, years weren’t being wasted. I needed time to feel comfortable taking that sort of risk again, but I couldn’t help thinking that the days months and years that I was using now were years that I was losing in the future with someone who I would have a relationship with.
I was in no shape for a relationship. I had accepted that. That didn’t mean I didn’t think about what it might be like. That I didn’t want it. I wasn’t ready now. I just hoped that one day, sooner rather than later, I would be.
Chapter Eleven
Nate
I lay back on the couch, listening to the dial tone for the front desk to answer. I had a bone to pick with Abby. The girl had told me all day, every day; those were the hours I was allowed to come looking for her. Just come by the front desk and ask for Abby, she had said. Just holler if you need anything.
She'd come inside my suite without permission. She'd gone out of her way more than once to come look for me. The one fucking time I walk my ass all the way to the front desk because I actually want to talk to her, and she's not working?
Flakiness. I wasn't paying an arm and a leg at this fucking place so I could be ignored by the people who were there to help me. Besides, what if it had been an emergency? I don't know, like, I really needed someone with knowledge of the hotel and island to tell me where to go, somewhere real, not a tourist trap.