“Sharks! Sharks!”
We went to the s
hark exhibit and watched the massive creatures appear to float effortlessly through the water.
“Turtles!” Gina cried and rushed over to the tank as one of the turtles pressed against the glass. She gave the glass a high-five, and I knelt down next to her.
She shoved her hair out of her eyes a few times and started to get frustrated. Her little mane of brunette hair was always in a ponytail, and now I knew why.
“Do you want me to put your hair up?” I asked.
Gina turned to me, sighed, and nodded.
I reached into her bag, which Layla always called her “bag of tricks,” and took out a hair-tie from a small plastic bag of about a hundred of them. She was always prepared. I hoped whoever I chose next was the same.
“Ow!” Gina cried as I held a handful of her hair.
I loosened my grip. “Sorry.”
As I twisted the tie around her chunk of hair, her face scrunched together.
“That hurts, Daddy.”
I gritted my teeth in concentration, trying to be as gentle as I could. How did Layla make this look so easy?
After I had wrapped the tie several times, I looked at the finished product. It wasn’t pretty. But it got the job done. I didn’t want to risk hurting her if I tried again.
Gina seemed relieved and turned back to the glass tank.
I stood up and scanned the area. Various families had arrived into the room. They were made up of many shapes and sizes. I wasn’t ashamed of our small family, but I frequently thought about how Gina would grow up without a stable female figure in her life. I noticed a few looks from moms and other nannies when they saw Gina’s eccentric hairstyle. Even though I could care less about their judgment, it still affected me.
I had to make a note in my mind to pay more attention to the little things in Gina’s life. They were only going to get more complex over the next fifteen years.
Maybe I should start thinking about dating again. A nanny was only a temporary position. If I was able to find someone to spend the rest of my life with and who Gina liked, then I would be back on track to the life I imagined for us. It was what Gina deserved. It was what we both deserved. But with my schedule, it wasn’t possible. I already spent enough time away from Gina; replacing that with dating wasn’t what either of us needed at the moment.
After spending the entire day at the aquarium and taking Gina out to dinner, she was asleep by the time I pulled into the driveway. I carefully carried her inside and changed her out of her clothes and into her favorite princess nightgown. She must have been exhausted because she didn’t wake once in the process.
When I finally got her into the bed, I watched her sleep for a few minutes. Spending the day with her was exhausting but perfect at the same time. Even at thirty-five, I was affected by her energy. Having someone to help me until I was able to get back on the dating scene needed to happen sooner rather than later. If I had help, then I could be less distracted at work and be able to get home sooner to be with Gina.
That would work for everyone.
I slowly backed out of the room and closed the door, even though I knew she wouldn’t wake.
With a renewed burst of energy, I poured myself two fingers of scotch and sat down in front of my home office computer. I pulled up the remote server for Stone Medical and drafted an email. When I finished, I read it over a few times. I rarely mixed business with personal, which was probably why I was so successful, but I needed help as soon as possible. And it wasn’t as if I wanted to hire my employees to watch Gina, but asking them to pass along any information on recommendations wasn’t completely out of the ordinary. They all knew Gina, and I trusted them implicitly.
I clicked send and sat back in my chair. All of my employees had access to their emails on their company phones. And even though I didn’t expect any responses this weekend, I felt better about taking the next step forward. I hoped that something would come out of it. If I didn’t hear anything by mid-week, I’d have to post another listing. I preferred to get personal recommendations, but desperation might force me to widen the job search.
When I finished my glass, I poured another. The drink eased the tension in my shoulders, and I headed into the living room to relax for a few minutes but found myself drifting off to sleep with an image of a smiling Gina in my mind’s eye.
Chapter Four
Jess
Sunday morning, I woke to the blaring sound of Mom’s ringtone on my cell. I rolled over and pressed my fingers against my temples. The ringer radiated through my brain. Last night rushed into my mind in a flash. Sierra had canceled on me when she got last-minute tickets to a band she liked. And I was stupid and took it upon myself to drink the bottle of wine I got for us on my own. And mixed with the overeating of Chinese takeout, my body was not feeling so hot.
I grabbed the phone from my side table and turned off the ringer. I squeezed my eyes closed, wishing the world wasn’t so bright at that moment.
I pressed my pillow to the back of my head, cutting out all light from my world. All I wanted to do was drift off to sleep again.