I busied myself with paperwork so I wouldn’t hype myself up too much before he got there. When I heard the front door open, I whirled around quickly with a smile already on my face. I turned to see Ally walking in. My face fell immediately. I hated to admit it, but I was disappointed it wasn’t Justin. I thought he had decided to show up a little early.
“There’s my favorite sister,” Ally said in her “I just graduated college and don’t have much to worry about right now” voice.
Her lack of responsibility made me a little jealous. She lived with roommates, so her rent was fairly cheap. She had a paid internship for the summer, and I couldn’t help but wonder what it was like to be her, so relaxed and care free.
“I’m your only sister,” I said. I didn’t want to deal with her right then. I was too nervous, and I didn’t want her to sense it. I knew she would pull my leg again like she did at Justin’s fight. As hard as I tried though, I just could not seem to calm down. My face, like always, gave me away.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Great, I thought to myself. Here we go. “Yeah, I’m fine. What are you doing here?” I started tapping my pen on the counter.
“Just wanted to come by and see my sister. Is that a crime?”
The funny thing is, she never really took the time out of her day to just stop by and see me unless she needed something. Whether it was money, or there was something she just had to tell me in person. I really did love my sister, and I tried to keep my irritation in check, but it was hard. I was sure it was just a big-sister-little-sister thing.
“No, but I am pretty busy today,” I said, trying my best to keep my voice calm and even. If she thought I was annoyed it would just prompt her to find out what was wrong. She wouldn’t leave until she got to the bottom of it.
She started telling me about something with her internship, but I was too focused on other things to really pay attention to what she was saying.
“Are you listening to me?” she asked. I hadn’t responded to anything she was saying. She had been talking for a full two minutes, but for some reason, everything she had said had gone in one ear and out the other.
“Yeah, totally,” I lied.
Ally eyed me for a minute before she finally asked, “Why are you so nervous?”
“I’m not,” I said. I shook my head at her like she was crazy.
“Then sto
p tapping your pen on the counter,” she said, pointing at the pen in my hand. Without realizing it, I had been erratically beating it against my desk since Ally walked in. I stopped.
“Fine. If you must know, Justin has an appointment today, and I’m a little antsy. Alright?”
Ally laughed. “I should have guessed it was about him. Man, you have it bad for him, and you guys aren’t even seeing each other. You might as well just admit it.”
“I do not ‘have it bad’ for him,” I said, making air quotes around what she said.
“Yes. You do. If you just be honest with yourself, it’ll make things easier for you in the long run.”
I let out an exasperated breath that would hopefully let her know I was not in the mood to play her games right then. “Fine. He’s hot. Are you happy?”
“No, it’s more than just that.”
It took everything in me to keep from shoving her out the front door and locking it behind her. I stared at her, clearly frustrated, but she just stared back with a silent challenge on her face.
“Okay, yes. He’s hot and funny and a fucking great fighter. Which is a huge turn on for me, by the way, which I had no idea it would be. I like him a lot.” I paused when a horrifying realization dawned on me. “Oh no. You could see it all over my face, couldn’t you?”
“I could the other night, too,” she said, reading my mind. She plopped down in a waiting chair. She picked up one of the magazines laying on the table in front of her and began mindlessly thumbing through it. “You’re really transparent,” she said, almost as if she were really bored with the subject at hand. As if it was something that should be obvious to everyone in the world.
“Fuck. I wish I wasn’t. I don’t want him to find out so easily. I really hope I can keep my shit together,” I said.
“I’m sure he can tell.”
My mouth almost fell open. I didn’t know why she had to be so blunt.
“It’s fine. He totally wants you too,” she said, still thumbing through the magazine.
I wanted her to leave. Every word out of her mouth made me feel even worse. I was already nervous enough about seeing Justin. I did not need anything else weighing on my mind during his session.