“Yeah,” I said slowly, wondering why I hadn't even considered that before. I'd been stuck in such a black and white view of our relationship that I'd forgotten there could be options.
“So, go over there,” Mina urged. “Talk to him.”
I shook my head and then stood up abruptly. “I'm so sorry.” I shook my head. “And seriously, thanks for bringing the parfaits.”
“I'll put yours in the fridge for you; you can have it later,” Mina assured me.
I drove a little too fast getting over to Christian's hotel, but fortunately, no one stopped me. When I got there, I spent a moment composing myself outside Christian's door. I wasn't really sure what I wanted to say, but I was sure something would come to me. I took a deep breath, tossed my hair back over my shoulders, and knocked.
And waited. And waited. And waited.
Finally, I knocked again. There was still no reply, and I sighed. After all of this, of course, he would be out somewhere, probably having a leisurely brunch or something, trying to forget about the night before.
I went down to the hotel desk, figuring I could leave a message for him. “Hi, sorry, I was hoping I could leave a message for Christian Wall, for when he comes back to his room?”
The woman behind the counter giggled a little. “You can do that, but I'm not sure when he'll be back,” she said.
I shook my head. “Yeah, that's fine,” I said. “I don't know where he is right now; I don't know how long he'll be. But I'm sure you'll all recognize him when he comes in, rig
ht? And if you could just give him a message.”
She looked down at her watch. “Well, at this minute, I'd say he's probably flying over the Pacific Ocean,” she told me. “He checked out this morning; he's headed back to New York.”
I stared at her for a moment, not comprehending her words. “He checked out?” I asked slowly.
“Yeah,” the woman said, chipper as ever. “Said it was time for him to get back to work, that his vacation had been long enough.” She shrugged. “Anyway, if you were hoping to ask him out or whatever, you missed your chance. He didn't sleep with anyone the whole time he was here, anyway. Very strange behavior from him.”
I spun away from her, not needing to hear more of her opinions on Christian's behavior, or more speculations about what I could want to talk to him about. I walked slowly out to my car and sat there for a moment in the driver's seat, just staring off into space.
He had left, then. He was gone.
Maybe he had meant everything that he had said the night before. Maybe we had never really been doing anything more than fucking.
I bit my lower lip, trying my best not to cry. Because after all, I'd known this was coming, hadn't I? I'd known it since before we'd even started dating.
I let out a shaky breath and turned the key in the ignition. There was nothing else to do.
Chapter Thirty-One
Christian
I drummed my fingers against my armrest, staring out the window as the plane took off. I had never felt compelled to look back before, and God only knew how many business trips I'd been on over the years. But I had specifically chosen a window seat instead of my usual aisle seat, and as the plane rose to cruising altitude, I found my eyes scanning the land below, charting the beaches, the towns, the places I was leaving behind.
Remembering the people who I was leaving behind.
It wasn't supposed to feel like this, that was the thing. My mission had been to go out and get the partying out of my system. I was meant to sleep with a new girl every night, until fucking somehow, miraculously, managed to get boring.
But none of that had happened. And here I was, flying back to New York City but still dwelling on everything that I was leaving behind.
I could never come back, though, even if I wanted to. Not after the way that I had treated Gretchen. God, she would have to hate me after that, and especially once she found out that I had just left like this. Without even telling her. It felt like the biggest dick move of the century, but it wasn't like there was anything I could do now. Besides, it was for the best. I had to get my head back into work mode. Back into city mode. The vacation was over.
When I arrived in New York and grabbed my bags from the carousel, I found Paul there waiting for me. He pulled me into a hug, clapping me a few times on the back. “Man, it's good to see you!” he said. “And Jesus, you're looking tan. I'm envious.”
I laughed and shook my head, dragging a hand back through my hair. “I'm always tanner than you, man.”
“I know, I know,” Paul sighed. “The fates are cruel.” He grinned and led me out toward one of the company cars. “So, how was the trip? How were your holidays?”
“Everything was great,” I said. It wasn't entirely the truth, but he didn't need to know about the whole mess there at the end. I wasn't about to tell him about Gretchen; no matter how good a friend Paul was, that just didn't seem like any of his business. It wasn't like I was going to marry the girl or anything anyway. I forced a smile. “It’s beaches, beautiful women, good food. What more does a man need in life?”