“Definitely.” She nodded as she got up and went to her cupboards. “We’ll make sure of that. Now, what are you thinking: jeans or a dress?”
“A dress,” I said decidedly. “I want it to be a paired down version of my birthday dress.”
“Pretty but practical.” She nodded. “I get it, and I think I have the perfect thing for you.”
As Missy walked me through the options, I found my mind wandering slightly. I kept reliving all my favorite moments from the previous night. They were little things, tiny seconds that were forever frozen in my mind, but they made me feel more alive than I could ever recall.
I remembered the moment he had walked up to me, the moment he had told me I looked stunning, the moment he had asked me to walk with him. I remembered the way he had taken my hand and wrapped it around his arm, the way he smiled with his eyes, the way he had looked when he told me about his sister and nephew.
But most of all, I remembered the way his lips had felt against mine. I remembered feeling weightless for a moment, as though gravity had abandoned me and for just a second…I was free.
Chapter Twelve
Chance
I drank a glass of water and checked the time on my watch. My lecture was about to start, so I pushed myself to my feet. I had spent the whole of Sunday thinking back to my frustrating Saturday night. Everything had been going so smoothly and then I had freaked her out by asking her back to my place.
Why would that have upset her so badly? She was a beautiful woman who was probably propositioned all the time, so I couldn’t quite understand her reaction. She had looked more than nervous, in fact, she had seemed panic-stricken.
I had even dreamed about her the previous night. In my dream, she had been standing in my bedroom, undressing slowly. I just stood there, watching her, and I could feel the excitement build. But all I could glimpse was a peek of her bare shoulders before the dream dissolved and I was left painfully wanting.
In the end, I had abandoned sleep, walked into my living room, and turned on the television. I had stared unseeing at some mindless show and kept imagining Natalie, and all the things I would have done to her had she consented to come back home with me.
I had gone back to Oasis on Sunday night, hoping to run into her again, but she was nowhere in sight. A sexy young blonde had come up to me while I was brooding by the bar.
“Hey, there,” she had said, leaning in seductively. “Wanna dance?”
I stared at her face for a moment before I answered. She was blue-eyed, like Natalie, but her eyes weren’t nearly so bright or so beautiful. They were lacking the awareness, the character, and the subtle self-consciousness that made Natalie so endearingly interesting to me.
I had turned away from her and shook my head. “I’m here with someone,” I had replied.
“I don’t see anyone around.”
“She’s in the bathroom.”
“She’s been in the bathroom for a while now.”
I had turned back to the blonde, realizing that on any other night, I would have accepted her immediately. For a moment, I had just considered going with her. We could have danced for a few minutes, and then I would have pulled her outside and into my car for a quickie in the backseat. It is just sex, I had reasoned, and I had done this a hundred times before. Yet somehow, it seemed strangely wrong to fuck one woman while I was thinking of another. It didn’t make any sense, and yet I couldn’t justify accepting the blonde in front of me.
“I just want to be alone tonight, okay?”
Her eyes had gone wide for a moment, and then she shrugged, obviously annoyed with my lack of interest. “Suit yourself,” she huffed, before walking away aggressively.
I had spent the rest of the night sitting by the bar, watching every dark-haired woman who passed me by. I got a few come-hither looks, but somehow, I turned away from all of them with disinterest. Once it became clear that Natalie was not going to show up, I had abandoned my plan and headed back home to my empty bed.
A part of me was disappointed in myself. I wasn’t the kind of guy to sit at home alone and daydream about a woman. I was a grown man who had decided a long time ago to stay away from any sort of emotion when it came to women. Now I found myself unable to control my thoughts. And even if my thoughts cooperated, my dreams certainly didn’t.
I had even considered calling Sophie and venting a little. But after some thought, I had decided against it. She would just read too much into my preoccupation and get excited and give me stupid advice that I’d never take, and then I’d spend the rest of the conversation defending my lifestyle to her. It was more than I could take at the moment, and I was
still hoping this strange new preoccupation would handle itself and vanish after a few days.
As I walked to my lecture, I decided to forget Natalie, at least for the moment. I would visit Oasis the coming weekend and hopefully run into her there. If not, well, my dreams would just have to suffice for the time being.
The lecture hall was half full when I entered. I went straight to my desk and began setting up. Once my USB had been attached, and my lecture slides were up and ready to go, I raised my head to face my students.
I nearly did a double take when I saw her sitting there in the front row. She was sitting where the dark-haired girl usually sat, and I felt my breath stall a little. It was Natalie. It had to be. She was the mousy, dark haired girl who had been occupying my thoughts for the last month.
Except today she looked different. Her hair was still tied up into her signature ponytail, but she had chosen not to wear her glasses.