Devon stood uncomfortably by the side of my bed. There was no real place for him to sit apart from the bed.
“Sit down,” I said.
He sat down on the very edge and regarded my arms carefully. I was wearing a tank top and shorts, and he could see the full extent of all my bruises. The older ones had slightly yellowed, and they were looking sickly, but they felt a lot better. The newer bruises were beautiful shades of blue and purple however, and they smarted more than I was willing to admit.
“He’s not going easy on you, is he?” Devon asked.
“He never claimed he would,” I said.
“I can talk to him if you want.”
“No,” I said immediately. “Please… don’t talk to him. I don’t want him thinking… I… don’t talk to him.”
Devon raised his eyebrows but nodded. “Ok,” he agreed. He wrung his hands together for a moment. “I guess I just wanted to see how you were doing… how you were coping living here with a bunch of men.”
I smiled. Devon and I hadn’t grown up together. We had met through our father, but even those meetings had been insignificant because Devon had been years older, and forming a relationship with me hadn’t been high on his priority list. The bottom line was that I didn’t really know him all that well. Even when we had made an attempt to meet each other when we were adults and our father was out of the picture, the conversations had been forced.
Now that I saw him regularly and was fully immersed in his world, I was learning more about Devon. He was protective and loyal, he was considerate, and he had a softer side to him that Dad had never possessed. I had never met his mother, and I wondered how much he took after her.
“I’m fine,” I told him. “I mean… I think I’m adjusting slowly. I’ll admit… it wasn’t really easy at first.”
“Because of Zack?” Devon asked.
“He was a part of it,” I admitted. “But it was more than that. I didn’t really get this kind of lifestyle… If I’m being truthful, I still don’t get it much.”
Devon smiled. “Fair enough.”
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“What made you join?”
Devon was quiet for a second. “Full disclosure?”
“Yes, please.”
“I was tired of feeling alone,” Devon replied.
I raised my eyebrows. “What?”
“I didn’t have much of a family growing up,” Devon explained. “Dad was, well… you know how he was. In and out of my life whenever it suited him. And more often than not the only reason he came to visit was that he needed something from Mom or me. I had friends that changed with every passing year, and Mom was… it wasn’t that she was a bad mother, she just worked three jobs my entire life, so she wasn’t around very much.”
“Where is she now?” I asked.
“Mom?”
“Yeah.”
“She died some years ago,” Devon replied. “Heart attack.”
“No,” I gasped. “I didn’t even know. You never told me.”
Devon shrugged. I realized just how disconnected we had been. But the moment I needed help desperately, I had called Devon, and he had shown up for me.
“Is that when you joined up here?” I asked.
“Yeah, I suppose that was the catalyst,” Devon nodded. “I think I just wanted some security. We may have our issues in this club, but at the end of the day, we’re a brotherhood. We have each other’s backs.”