“You right, and I’m sorry for lying,” I told her.
“So where were you then if you weren’t at work?” she asked me, folding her arms across her chest.
Damn, was she really about to make a nigga answer that question. Normally, I didn’t feel like I owed a bitch no type of explanation about my whereabouts, but Antonia was different. I respected her and I respected her feelings, but I knew that if I told her what I was doing today that it would crush her, so I opted not to.
“You don’t need to know where I was at, just know I’m sorry for hurting you,” I told her.
With tears dropping down her face, she turned away from me and said, “You’re just like everybody else that comes in my life. You don’t give a fuck about me, Jah. You don’t have to take me to dinner, you can just take me home, you liar!” she cried.
I wasn’t about to argue with Antonia over this bullshit, so if she wanted to go home, then that’s where I was going to take her. I knew that I cared about her, hell didn’t the things that I was doing for her count for something? I fucked up by lying, yes, but damn, when she called, did she want me to tell her to call me back because I was getting some pussy at the moment?
We drove the rest of the way to her house in complete silence, except for my phone that kept going off in my pocket every five minutes. I knew for a fact that it was one of my hoes, and I knew that Antonia heard the vibration because she kept looking at me and shaking her head. We pulled up to her apartment complex a few minutes later and I parked the car in the middle of the parking lot like I always did. She picked up her purse and her papers from the floor, opened the door, got out and made sure to slam the door.
I couldn’t even be mad at her because I knew she was pissed. I was going to give her space for a while, and then I would come back and apologize because I was a nigga who was man enough to know when I had fucked up.
Chapter 17: Antonia
I knew this shit was way too good to be true. Jah tried to act like he gave a fuck about me, knowing he really didn’t. Although he didn’t come right out and say it, I knew that he was with another girl earlier today. I didn’t care about that because he makes it very clear to me that we aren’t together, but I hated the fact that he felt the need to lie to me. I wanted Jah and I to be together, but I was not about to beg him to be with me.
It’s been five months and I’ve kind of come to the conclusion that maybe he just doesn’t like me in that way or something. I was tired of the damn forehead kisses. I wanted him to take things with me to the next level, but honestly, at this point I didn’t think that it would ever happen. Maybe Tacarra was right after all, I was gullible as hell to think that this fine ass man would ever see anything in me.
I used the key to my aunt’s apartment and let myself in. Porsha and my aunt were in the same spot that they were in when I left an hour ago. I really thought that I would be spending the rest of the day with Jah, but I couldn’t stand to be around his lying ass for another minute.
“Aww, what happened? I thought you were spending the day with your man? What happened, he wanted to be with his other bitch today?” Porsha taunted from the couch.
“Porsha, shut up because you don’t know what you’re talking about!” I told her.
She jumped up from the couch so fast and rushed over to me then slapped the shit out of me.
“Bitch, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Get a lil dick in your life and you lose your damn mind! I’ll still fuck your ass up,” she said to me.
“You’re just going to let her hit me like that?” I asked my aunt as I held my cheek.
I don’t know why for a second I thought that my aunt would save me from this battle, hell she never has saved me from shit else in life.
“Antonia, sit the fuck down talking to me, little girl. Damn, I’ll be so glad when you get your ass out of my house,” my aunt huffed.
Fuck it, I’d had enough. “And what about Porsha? Will you be glad when she leaves too? Or will she ever leave? She’s twenty-four years old, still living with you, with no job, yet I don’t hear you asking her to leave!” I spat.
I was just that pissed off with Jah that I was talking crazy to my aunt, knowing that she would beat my ass in the end. I watched as she stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. She came back a few seconds later, holding onto a wooden broom, with this crazed look on her face.
“What the fuck did you just say to me? Repeat that shit again,” she said.
I tried to walk around her but I was too slow because before I knew it, she swung the broom and it connected with my knees, sending a burning sensation through me. This was a wooden broom that she was about to whoop my ass with and I would have preferred the leather belt over this any day. I was so scared that all of a sudden I looked down and pee was literally running down the side of my leg. She swung the broom again and I wailed in pain, falling down to the floor. She had hit me so damn hard that the broom had split in two.
“Don’t you ever question the way that I run my fuckin household! Porsha is my daughter and she could stay here as long as she wants to! I should have kicked your slut ass out of my house the minute you turned eighteen,” my aunt said.
I lay on the floor, holding onto my legs because they hurt like hell.
“Get your pissy ass up and go take a damn shower. You’re obviously smelling yourself because I don’t know who the fuck you think you’re talking to,” my aunt said.
I stood up from the floor and ran to the back, going into my room. My little cousins were in their bed knocked out, so I had to get my pajamas out of my drawer quietly, so that I wouldn’t wake them. It didn’t matter how any good things happened to me, whether it be getting accepted into the college of my dreams or being awarded with the scholarships, my aunt still had a way in her to tear me down and make me feel like shit. The hateful things that she said to me were enough to make me hate myself.
“Her crackhead ass mother should have still been here to raise this dumb ass little girl. I swear, I really be having to calm myself down because I really be about to kill this little bitch in here. Antonia never used to talk back, now all of a sudden she talking to me like she lost her damn mind in here. I promise you, she got one more time to come out of the side of her neck to me and she going to be joining her damn mama,” I heard my aunt say as I stood in the middle of the hallway and listened to her talk to Porsha.
“You never say why you hated her mother so much, what did she do to you in the first place?” Porsha asked my aunt.
I stayed in my spot because I really wanted to hear her answer. For as long as I can remember, my aunt has always talked down on my mom without giving me any sort of explanation and I wanted to know where all of that came from.