You see, a lot of niggas in the hood couldn’t stand us Carter niggas, and to fuck with us, they would go around fuckin’ with the people we loved. It was only a matter of time before my father caught a case because he was living a dangerous lifestyle before he even went in, but damn, I always thought that if my father would be sent to prison, it would be on a drug charge, not for catching a damn body.
I was hoping that he would turn over the plug to me so that I could be the biggest drug dealer to ever step foot in Miami, but my father didn’t want that lifestyle for me. It was different because when he was here, he used to let me do my little runs, pick up dope and money, but once he got incarcerated, all of that shit changed. I got a thrill out of that shit, but my father had other plans for me, which is why before he went in, he handed me over the keys to my very own tattoo shop.
My father knew that I enjoyed doing tattoos, and when I wasn’t in the streets, I would literally have my homeboys come over to my house and I would do their tattoos in my garage. Since I was like nine years old, I had an eye for art, and I promise you if my father didn’t hand me the keys to this building, I knew that I would still be in these streets, trying to follow in his footsteps.
So, here I am, at the age of twenty-three with the luxury of having my own business, which was very successful, by the way. I grew up right here in Miami, Florida, where I attended Carol City High school. I had the two most beautiful women in my life, so there was no need for me to look for another woman. Meaning that I would never take these bitches out here serious. I couldn’t respect these bitches out here because they didn’t respect themselves. I felt as if the only reason they were actually trying to get with a nigga was because they knew that I had a whole bunch of damn money, and word around town was a nigga had a big ass dick, which wasn’t a lie at all.
As far as looks, I wasn’t no conceited ass nigga, but I knew I was a true gift from God and he had taken his time when he made me. Bitches loved my hazel eyes and shit, but the only thing I loved about them was what they could offer me, which was some pussy and head. I don’t think that I want to be a dog for the rest of my life, but I damn sure wasn’t about to stop doing the shit that I was doing until I met someone who I felt loved me for me. Living in this day and time, that shit was going to be very hard, so until then I was going to keep sticking and moving.
Right now, I was at Aventura mall with my sister, Shaniqua. I felt like I owed it to her to take her shopping because I felt bad that that nigga had put his hands on my sister. As the man in her life, since our father wasn’t here physically to protect her, I had to step up to the plate and always be there for her, and I felt like I had fucked up in a way. I knew the nigga my sister was dating, and I couldn’t stand his ass, but my sister was a grown ass woman and I couldn’t tell her what to do with her life. Hell, she was older than me, and wasn’t going to listen to my ass no way.
Shaniqua was dating some nigga name Travis, and he was a good dude and all, but clearly he didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself, and he liked to flex too much. Meaning, the nigga would go buy a damn Ferrari right now and drive the shit up and down the city so that everybody could see what the fuck he was riding in. I respected niggas who made their money in silence and didn’t have to make a scene all the damn time. If you know you’re making money, then why the fuck should you have to prove that shit to anybody? Besides, I felt like when he did reckless shit like that, he was putting my sister in a fucked up position because niggas knew that she was his girl, and to fuck with him, they would come for my sister. That’ s when we were going to have a damn problem.
Prior to the ass whooping that I gave dude last night, I fucked with him off of the strength of Shaniqua, but now the fool was dead to me, and it was Shaniqua’s decision to make if she still wanted to be with him.
“You done now? Damn we done went in just about every store in this bitch,” I said to my sister as we were walking out of the Louis Vuitton store. This girl had me going in all of these girly ass stores and I was ready to go and sit my ass down somewhere. I loved the mall and shopping myself, but damn, Shaniqua’s ass was on a whole other level.
“Yes, let’s just go to Chick-Fil-A and get something to eat, and then we can leave,” Shaniqua said, smiling.
I looked at my sister and just admired her beauty. I couldn’t see how a man would ever raise his fuckin’ hand to hit such a beautiful person. Shaniqua was tall like me, but she was about 5’7” and she had the body of a model. A few years back, she had cut her long hair and now she rocked a permanent short cut, similar to the one that Keri Hilson used to wear. She had the same hazel eye color as me, and often times we were mistaken for twins, that’s just how much we resembled each other.
“Alright because fuckin’ around with your ass, I’m hungry too,” I said and we made our way over to Chick-Fil-A as I held all of Shaniqua’s bags in my hands.
“Welcome to Chic-Fil-A, I’m Antonia, how can I help you?” the cashier asked, as she looked from me to Shaniqua.
I watched as the beautiful smile that she originally had on her face was replaced by a look of sadness. It was the girl from last night who I had helped get up because Lord knows I would have felt like shit if one of those bullets had hit her. Only reason the cops had started shooting in the first place was because of the shit that I was out there doing, so even though I didn’t know her, I didn’t want anything to happen to her off the strength of my shit.
I smirked as I watched her. Clearly, she had changed up her facial expression because she thought that Shaniqua was my girl, instead of my sister.
“Order what you want, baby girl,” I told Shaniqua, and when she finished ordering hers, I placed my order next. When we finished, we stood off to the side and waited for them to call our name.
Five minutes later, we were sitting down at one of the tables in the food court. I had pulled one of the chairs from another table and set all of Shaniqua’s bags down on it.
“Lil mama wasn’t feeling me being with you. You know her or something?” Shaniqua asked, putting a forkful of her salad in her mouth.
“Nah, I saw her yesterday and I helped her with something. Only encounter I had with her,” I told Shaniqua, as I put a shit load of ketchup on my fries.
“She’s beautiful, though, but she looks like a little ass girl,” Shaniqua said.
I didn’t even look at lil mama like that, but something told me to pause for a second and take her in. She was in her work uniform and had on the hat to match, where I could see her long hair pulled up in a ponytail. I watched as she never really made eye contact with any of the customers who approached the register. Lil mama had a story for real, and from her lack of confidence in herself, I could tell that she was going through some shit at home. It was like I was just able to see right through her. Shaniqua was right, she was beautiful, but she looked like a damn baby. I wasn’t about to get charged with no damn statutory rape. Hell nah, I was good on that one.
Chapter 3: Antonia
It was Saturday morning, and I was on the way to the bank to take out the money that I made while working and give it to my aunt. Only this time, I was taking a huge chance and keeping thirty-five dollars of it to myself. Not so I could go get my hair or nails done, or any of that shit that I didn’t care about, but I needed the money to pay for my application fee to the University of Miami.
I knew for a fact that if I wanted to go to college, I had to do the shit on my own, which is why every Saturday morning, I got my ass up and took my ass down to the Dade county library and applied for scholarships. That was the only way that I would get into college because I didn’t live in a household where I had parents who would pay for my tuition. I already knew that my aunt was going to want to know why my check was short this week, but I would just let her know that I was late one day to work because the bus came late, which caused for me to lose out on a few of my hours. Most likely she would buy it. It’s cray that I couldn’t even do what I wanted to do with my own damn money.
After I had taken the money out of my account at the ATM and left the thirty-five dollars that I needed, I was on my way to the library. I had faith in myself that I would get into UM, even if no one else did because most of my classes were Advanced Placement. Currently, I held a 4.3 GPA, and I had completed all of my community service hours last year by staying after school and helping teachers grade papers.
UM was the school for me because I was interested in their school of arts and sciences. I wanted to be a psychologist. Nowadays, I felt like kids didn’t have anyone to talk to about the problems they had at home, and I just wanted to be that escape for them. I had a story to tell, but I just didn’t have anyone I felt comfortable enough with to tell because I was afraid of their judgement or their retaliation. I was afraid that if I let a person in on too much about my life, they would have something to hold over my head, meaning if I were to ever fall out with that person, they would use my personal secrets against me.
Tacarra knew a little bit about the problems I faced at home, but I didn’t let her in on everything. Not because I didn’t trust her, but honestly I didn’t know whether she even cared to know.
About twenty minutes la
ter, I walked into the Miami Dade County library and went over to the back to use the computers. I had done my research, and today would finally be the day when I actually applied to my dream school.
You gone be just like us when you get older. What makes you think someone would accept your dumb ass into their college? You just need to give all of those dreams up, because it’ll never come true. You’ll probably fuck around and become an addict just like your damn mama. My aunt’s voice kept replaying in my head as I filled out my admission form. It’s like whenever I would sit down to do something big, I would always hear her negativity in the back of my head, trying to bring me down. It’s like those hateful words were embedded in my brain, and I couldn’t seem to get them out.