“It was a boy,” he said, and his voice was shaky. I knew how bad Dontae wanted a boy, and I couldn’t even do that right. I shed a tear as well. This was something that I would never in my life forget, and I would never wanted to go through something like this again.
“She told me that we wouldn’t have wanted to see the baby like that. She said that the intestines were on the outside of his body,” Dontae let me know, and I couldn’t believe all of the bad luck that I just had today.
I looked over at my family, and they were all crying as well. Right now, I was in a state of misery, shock, and depression. I didn’t think that I would ever be the same after this. No words could be formed that would help me to better cope with what I was going through right now. In fact, I was already tired of being given their sympathy and all I wanted was to be left alone, even if that mean me joining my baby.
Chapter 22: Dontae
It’s been a week since Breesha was discharged from the hospital, and I swear it’s like I’ve been sleeping with a ghost. She won’t talk, eat, or nothing. I had Bria over at Nae’s house, because I didn’t want her to see Breesha like this. The doctor did tell me that she would be depressed but damn, I didn’t think that it would be this bad. Don’t get me wrong, I was hurting too! This shit was killing me that I would never even get the chance to meet my junior. It hurt me even more to see my fiancé going through this shit right now. It’s like she had shut everybody out. I was going through the very same thing as her, I had lost my child too, but Breesha wasn’t trying to hear that at all.
I haven’t left Breesha’s side since she came home from the hospital until now. She was sleep, so I decided to go get her favorite and pick up from Benihana’s. I was trying to do anything that would make my girl feel a little bit better. All she did now was just stay in bed all day and cry. She was avoiding Mani and Nae. I think it would hurt for her to have to see Mani, being as though she’s 6 months pregnant. Couldn’t nothing replace the life of my little man but shit, it doesn’t mean that we were going to stop here. We got all the time in the world to have more babies. As soon as my baby got better, I was going to book us a flight to Las Vegas and get married. No need to prolong the situation any longer. I was ready to go ahead and make Breesha my wife. If she wanted a big wedding and all of that, shit, we could still do that, but I was ready for her to be my wife right now. I wanted to do anything in my power to be able to see her smile again. The flowers, cards, and candy that I was bringing her every day wasn’t working, because she wouldn’t even acknowledge that I had left her anything. Shit, Bria don’t even call her Breesha no more, she calls her mommy. I could sense that my daughter knew something had happened to Breesha, which is why she called her mommy. My daughter was very smart and very observant, so she knew that something was going on, which is why I had to take her to Nae’s crib because I didn’t want her to keep seeing Breesha in her condition. All I needed was for my girl to get better so that I could have my family back to normal. As soon as she’s healed, I’m pumping another seed in her, and another and another. There won’t be a day that goes by that I don’t think about my junior, but I didn’t want that to hold us back or keep us from making another baby.
I walked inside of Benihana’s, paid for the food, and left out. I drove back to the house bumping that new Plies, Find You. As I was driving home, I was hoping that when I got there, Breesha would be up out of that bed and downstairs, watching TV or something, even though I knew that that was only wishful thinking. Deep down, I knew she was going to be exactly where I had left her at when I left out earlier. 20 minutes later, I was pulling up to the house. I got out, locked the door, and made my way inside.
When I got inside the room, I noticed that Breesha wasn’t in the bed. Well that’s some progress, because normally she wouldn’t get out unless I damn near dragged her. I had to bathe her and shit like that, because she wasn’t going to do it herself. I didn’t have a problem doing it at all but damn, a nigga was getting tired of seeing her depressed like this. Not to mention, she kept the room pitch black all the time, giving off an eerie feeling whenever you stepped foot in there. I checked for her everywhere–outside by the pool, the den, and the guestrooms–but I couldn’t find her ass anywhere. I ran back upstairs to the room and noticed that the bathroom door was closed. When I went to open it, I noticed that the door was locked. That was strange, because Breesha never ever locks the bathroom door, so that sent off a red flag in my head as well.
“Breesha open up the door baby!” I yelled, banging on the door.
No sound or movement was coming from the other side of the door. I waited for a few more
seconds, to see if she was going to come and open up the door. When I realized that she wasn’t going to come, I stood back and kicked the shit out of the door, watching as it hung from the hinges. What I saw was enough to make a nigga go insane. Breesha was laid out on the bathroom floor, with an empty bottle of Percocet on the floor next to her. I went to check her pulse, and I couldn’t find one. I hate to admit it, but this was the most peaceful that she looked since we’ve came home from the hospital.
“Breesha wake up baby! What the fuck did you do?” I screamed shaking her. I didn’t get anything from her–no response, no nothing.
“God dammit! I think she’s dead!” I mumbled.