“Leave me alone! Leave me alone!” I screamed at Fred. He was back inside on my room, about to do those nasty things to me again. I was so scared, and nobody was here to protect me again.
“Stop! Stop!” I cried.
“Bria, it’s okay baby, it’s okay,” Breesha said, coming into my room and turning on my light. I looked around, and that’s when I realized that I was having another bad dream again.
“Breesha, make him leave me alone. Why won’t he leave me alone?” I cried, jumping into her lap.
“It’s okay Bria. I’m right here and daddy is right here, I promise that he won’t ever hurt you again,” she said, and kissed me on my cheek.
Breesha
I was sleeping so peacefully, laid up in Dontae’s arms until I heard screams coming from Bria’s room. This was like the fourth night in a row that Bria has had these nightmares. I felt like that was so much for her to handle, and I felt so bad for her when she would wake up from having those bad dreams, body drenched in sweat and tears falling from my eyes. Even though biologically I wasn’t her real mother, it still hurt to see her in this condition. Bria believed that Fred was coming back to get her, but I had to keep informing her that she was safe now. Dontae didn’t have to t
ell me, but I knew that he had handled it because for weeks, he would be talking about how he was going to catch that nigga slipping and how he was going to kill his ass. Out of the blue, all that conversation stopped, so I knew that Dontae went and did something, which I knew he would because Bria was his life and I knew he would kill anybody that ever hurt her again.
After getting Bria to calm down some, I picked her up and carried her inside the bathroom in the hallway, and sat her down on the cabinet. I ran some cold water on a washcloth and wiped her face. The whole time I did that, Bria was still a little shook up. After cleaning her up, I carried her back into the room with Dontae and I, and she snuggled right up under her daddy while I went on my side of the bed and tried falling back to sleep.
I got up the next morning at 6:30 to get Bria ready for school. After she was done eating breakfast and I finished doing her hair and getting her dressed, we were out the door. Dontae was still asleep when we left, so I would just see him when I came back to get ready for work. After dropping my baby off to school, I was heading back home. I swear I did it all, pregnant and all. I made sure I got my ass up early every morning to get Bria ready for school, take her to school, come back home and get ready for work, go to work, go get Bria from after care, come home and cook dinner, and do it all again the next morning. I wasn’t complaining by a long shot; I just felt like I took on a lot of responsibilities.
Pulling back up to the house, I let myself in and I walked inside the kitchen, where I heard Dontae talking on the phone. I went and stood behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He turned around and gave me a kiss on the lips, and I headed upstairs to take my shower and get ready for work.
“Dontae, I’m leaving, I’ll see you tonight,” I yelled to him, about to walk out of the door.
“Breesha, don’t even try me like that girl. Where my hug and kiss at?” he yelled back from the kitchen. I sat my things down and headed over to him. As soon as I was in arms reach, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his lips.
“I’m sorry baby, I’m just running late,” I said to him.
“I’m getting some pussy tonight?” he asked, looking me dead into my eyes.
“Depends on what time my baby goes to sleep,” I said, smiling.
“Hmm, we’ll see. Call me on your break so I can bring you lunch,” he said, and I nodded my head after kissing him one last time.
“I love you,” I told him.
“I love you more,” and with that, I was out the door and on my way to work.
Chapter 20: Sharice
Since leaving Miami, my life has been a total disaster. Yes, I left because I would never be able to face my daughter again after what went down that night, but that was only part of the reason. For the past few weeks, I had been in constant prayer with God. Over the years, I had made my share of poor choices, and I was just coming to God asking for forgiveness. I wanted to get my life in order because I was going through some things, and I needed to do what I had to do because I honestly didn’t have that much time left. I had something very important that I had to tell Dontae, and I just wish that he would be generous enough to let me just see and hold my daughter one last time. Since being here in Atlanta, I couldn’t help but to think if my daughter had asked about me since I had been gone. I wondered if she even missed me. I wondered if she grew to hate me, or if she blamed me for what Fred had done to her. I know that this is my fault, because had I not lied to Dontae about still seeing Fred, then none of this would have transpired.
There were so many signs that were telling me to leave Fred alone but I just couldn’t. I’m not going to even lie, I was never in love with Fred, hell I didn’t even think that I loved him but it wasn’t until I found out that Dontae was in a relationship and I decided to pursue Fred. Honestly, if I could have any man in this world, it would have to be my baby daddy. Dontae was a good man and I wished that I was able to have the qualities that Breesha had, because maybe Dontae would have wanted something with me as well. Never in a million years did I think that my actions would cause my daughter to become a victim of rape. I should have left Fred when he punched my daughter in the back, but I was so stupid that I just let him stay.
I wasn’t even going to give Dontae a heads up that I was coming back to Miami; I was just going to pop up, because I already knew that he wouldn’t agree with me coming. What I had to tell them was very important, and it needed to be said now. I needed to see my daughter one last time, because it might very be the last time that she ever laid eyes on me again. Funny how you don’t start regretting things until after you realized how many times you already fucked up. It was too late for me to have that perfect relationship with Bria because from the looks of it, I could already tell that Breesha was taking my spot, and that hurt me more than dealing with the fact that I haveterminal cancer!
Chapter 21: Breesha
2 MONTHS LATER
I was at work and sitting in my office on my lunch break. Today had been a busy day for the most part. We had a big sale going on with our Malaysian hair this week, so it’s been pretty busy since we opened this morning. I usually leave at 6 p.m. but I think I was going to leave a little earlier today because my head had been killing me all morning. I threw my chicken Caesar salad in the garbage located in my office and went to go use the restroom, having the sudden urge to pee. When I went to wipe myself, I noticed that there was blood on the tissue. I really didn’t know what was going on. I knew for a fact that I wasn’t supposed to be bleeding while I was pregnant, so I hurried up and flushed and washed my hands, and then called my doctor’s office.
“Thank you for calling All Women’s Healthcare, this is Mya speaking, how may I help you?” she asked me.
“Hey Mya, this is Breesha Thomas. I’m not scheduled to come in until next week but I just finished using the restroom and I noticed that I was bleeding. I just wanted to know if that was normal or is this some type of problem,” I asked her, voice trembling. I was so scared at the moment, because I was thinking the worst right now.
“Okay Ms. Thomas, is there any way that you can come into the office now just so we can see what’s going on?” she asked me.
“Yes, that’s fine, I can come,” I told her, walking back inside my office.