Chapter 10: Tisha
It’s been a month since the death of my baby, and I swear it feels like the shit has just happened to me yesterday. As the days went by, I felt like I became more depressed. All I did was walk around the house looking like a zombie, and crying every five minutes. Only time I would come from out of the room was if I did decide to eat, which wasn’t often at all. Lani was kind enough to help keep the baby for me because lately, I just didn’t have the strength; plus, I didn’t want my baby to see me like this. This morning, I woke up to feel fur moving around next to me. I looked down and that’s when I noticed it was a puppy, a white Pomeranian with a hot pink bow around its neck.
“Aww he got me a puppy,” I squealed, picking up the dog, and I fell in love with his beautiful, round black eyes, looking up at me with adoration. He was so beautiful, and I decided to name him.
After a while, I started thinking about how it would have felt to bring my unborn child into this world. I know I shouldn’t have been comparing my child to a dog, but I couldn’t help but to think about it. All of a sudden, the sadness kicked back in and I carefully sat the dog on the floor and buried my head back under the covers, blowing out a frustrated sigh.
It had been two hours since I had fell back to sleep with my face buried in the pillows. I felt someone pull the sheets from around my body, and I knew it was Otis’ aggravating ass. I didn’t see how he expected me to just live my life and act like nothing happened.
“Tisha, didn’t I tell you to have your ass out the bed when I got back!” he said, screaming at me.
Otis had just gotten back from getting a haircut and before he left, he told me he wanted me out the bed. He should have known that wasn’t going to happen. I don’t even know when he had the time to slip the dog inside the bed with me either. I blew out a frustrated breath and took my ass to the bathroom to take a shower. When I was done, I went over to the sink, and brushed my teeth and washed my face. I took my hair out of the bun that I had it in and flat ironed it, and put it in a part down the middle. I hadn’t touched my hair in over two weeks. I went into my closet and threw on a short, black, Armani Exchange dress that stopped at the middle of my thigh and exposed my entire back. I went downstairs with Gucci in my arms, and went inside the den with Otis, while he played the game. I sat down on the couch opposite from him, with Gucci in my arms.
“That’s much better,” he said, pausing the game and sitting the controller down in his lap to look at me.
After he realized I wasn’t going to say anything, he continued to play.
“When the last time you ate? Because I’m trying to remember and I didn’t see you eat yesterday or the day before that,” he said, not taking his eyes off me.
“I ate yesterday,” I lied through clenched teeth. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I ate anything. If I did get something to eat, it would be some of my ice cream that I kept hidden in the back of the freezer.
“Here, come eat the rest of this,” he said, pointing at his wings and fries that were sitting at the table in front of him.
“I don’t want that,” I told him.
“Tisha, you a grown ass woman. I’m not about to sit here and beg your ass to eat. Quit acting like a little ass girl and eat the fuckin food,” he said angrily.
I got up from the couch and stomped my ass to the kitchen. I didn’t see anything I wanted, so I took my keys and headed out to get me something to eat, bringing Gucci along with me, and sitting himin the passenger seat. I didn’t even tell Otis where I was going, I just left without saying anything. I ended up getting some take out from Red Lobster. Being as though Otis had just pissed me off by yelling at me like that, I decided to go to Lani’s house, mainly because I missed my daughter and I wanted to see her. When I pulled up, I noticed only Lani’s car was in the driveway. I parked and got out to ring the doorbell. I was car
rying my food in one hand with my purse and Gucci in my other hand. Lani came to the door with a big smile on her face.
“Oh my God Tisha, I missed you so much,” Lani said, giving me a big hug while taking the bag of food out of my hand.
“I missed you too sis,” I said, hugging her back.
I really did miss my girls. For the past month, I’d just been camping out in my room, missing out on everyone and everything. We walked inside the house, and I saw Aaliyah and Harmony playing in the playpen.
“Otis done brought your ass a damn puppy,” Lani said, taking Gucci from me.
“Yes, he surprised me with it this morning. I named him Gucci,” I said, and Ka’lani shook her head at me. While she played with the dog, I went into the kitchen so that I could go and wash my hands. After that, I went back into the den so that I could be with everybody else.
“Hi baby,” I said, walking over to my baby and picking her up. I placed kisses all over her, and she was kissing me too. Damn, my baby girl missed her mommy so much. I tried to put her back down in the playpen, but she wasn’t having that. She wanted to stay in my arms, so I sat down on the floor with her in my lap while I ate my food at the little table in the den.
“Ma-ma,” my baby said, pointing to the food while I was putting it in my mouth.
I looked down at her, and she looked so pretty with her two ponytails in her hair. I had to bite off little pieces to feed her greedy self. Between her and her daddy, I could never eat my food in peace. After I was finished eating, I laid on the couch with my baby on my stomach. Within five minutes, she was knocked out.
“How you been feeling, sis?” Lani asked me.
“Today I feel a lil better. This past month has been hell though. It felt like with each day, this shit just got worse. At first, Otis would stay in bed with me, and now for the past couple of weeks, he just walks around the house and won’t say shit to me. I feel like he getting tired of all this crying and shit, which is why I’m out the house now and trying to get better. He surprised me though this morning with this dog, because I just knew his ass was done with me,” I said, rubbing my daughter’s hair as she slept.
“Well I’m just glad you’re doing okay sis for real, I hate seeing you depressed like that. I gave you your space, but I planned on being at your front door tomorrow morning to drag your ass out that bed,” Lani said.
I started laughing because I knew her crazy ass would do that. Before I knew it, it was going on 8 p.m. and I was still there with Lani. I decided to let Harmony spend the night over there since she was already sleep, and I would come and get her in the morning. I took her upstairs and put her in the bed with Aaliyah. When I got home, Otis’ car was outside. I was happy because I could really enjoy some alone time with my man. I didn’t realize how much I missed being around him until now. When I walked in the house, I headed upstairs to our bedroom. I heard the shower on as I approached the door and I prayed like hell that he wasn’t about to go out tonight. When I walked in the room, he had his outfit laid out on the bed.
I sat on the bed and waited for him to come out.
Chapter 11: Otis