“You basically just admitted that you only took me because you didn’t want me with him. Jaquan, let me ask you something. What’s so wrong with Quay anyway? I mean, like I honestly just don’t get it. You know him, so it’s not like you’ll ever have to worry about me when I’m with him,” I said.
“That’s the problem right there. Monae, Quay of all people knows the game. That nigga knew you were off limits, but he basically said, fuck me and did what the fuck he wanted to do!” he told me.
“Well, it doesn’t even matter anymore because he broke up with me,” I said and then I burst out crying.
Reality had just set in that I was now going to be a lonely, bitter bitch. I knew this for a fact because Quay was my first real boyfriend, and the amount of time that we spent together was enough for me to give him my heart. I really and truly loved him, and it hurt like hell to see him walk out on me. I knew Quay wasn’t a bullshit type of person, so when he had threatened me the first time to tell my brother about us, I should have just done it because now it’s way too late.
“This exactly what I didn’t want to happen, man! You think I want to see you crying like this over a nigga? Hell no, I don’t! Monae, straighten up, man, because that’s not doing nothing but making me more upset,” Jaquan said. He hated to see me cry.
I wiped my face with my shirt and stared out of the window for the majority of the ride to his house. I planned to do nothing while I was over there too. I was going to stay my miserable ass in my room, and only come out when it was time for me to go back home. I was in my feelings, and I didn’t want or need to be around anybody because I was liable to take my frustrations out on them.
Chapter 2: Jaquan
I know I’m probably coming off to Monae as the most heartless and inconsiderate ass nigga, but honestly, in my head, I felt like what I was doing was absolutely the right way of handling things. Point blank period, I was a selfish ass nigga. I wanted my little sister
to stay pure, and I wanted her to stay away from these niggas because I knew without a doubt that all most niggas wanted was that one thing, and once they get that one thing, that’s it. Shit, I was that nigga, kind of still am, but I slowed down now that Charlie and I have been trying to get the whole relationship thing to work. I knew what men were capable of doing to a woman’s feelings, and God knows if a nigga ever broke my sister’s heart, I was going to break his neck.
I got to give it to my nigga, Quay, though, he didn’t back down to my ass. Most niggas would have probably taken the gun from my hand and used it to kill themselves had they had been caught in the situation of fuckin’ my little sister. But not Quay. He had impressed me with how he fought my ass and called himself trying to check me because of the way I was handling my little sister. That alone showed me that he cared for her because the nigga was still talking shit, even though I had a gun to his head. I’ll admit, I was pissed off about the shit at first, but the look that Monae had in her eyes when she was explaining her feelings for my boy couldn’t go unnoticed. That’s the same look I catch Charlie giving a nigga. I’ll be a heartless ass nigga to tell my sister that she had to stop seeing Quay. No brother wants to hear about his little sister fuckin’, but damn, I literally walked in on the shit. I just couldn’t be that asshole because that wouldn’t do anything but have Monae rebel, and I didn’t need that.
Part of the reason why I was like this when it came to my sister is because of our father’s absence. I know Monae doesn’t like to talk about it because it’s a touchy situation, having to grow up, especially as a little girl and not have a father in your life. So, me being the dominant person that I am, I stepped up by the time I was ten and tried to be the best big brother to Monae that I possibly could. I wanted to be that strong father figure to her, even though I was still a child myself. I know sometimes Monae feels like I treat her like a little girl, but I don’t see anything wrong with my loving my sister to the point that I’ll kill a nigga if he were to ever disrespect her.
Of course, my pride was way too high to give her my blessing right away, so I was going to wait until shit cooled down a little bit and then I would have that talk with her. Besides, I knew Quay, and if what Monae said was true about him breaking up with her, then she needed to give that man his space. Quay had a temper just like mine, so she needed to let shit cool off first before she tried to talk to him. Until then, she was going to keep her little hot ass at my house. Shit, Monae thought she had it bad and I treated her like a little girl, shit she ain’t seen the way I have Charlie’s ass on lock. My baby mama wasn’t even allowed to have a damn Instagram. There was a method to my madness, though. I know Charlie, and I know that she’s still not used to this famous lifestyle. Bitches are reckless and messy, and I don’t need bitches I used to fuck with, hell that I’m probably still fuckin’, to bring that bullshit to Charlie. I’ll admit, I was a nigga at the end of the day and I wasn’t 100% faithful. So, to kind of keep my mess to myself, I didn’t let Charlie have an Instagram because I felt like someway, somehow, these bitches was going to find a way to fuck up Charlie’s head and she was going to leave my ass. If Charlie did see some snake shit on Instagram, it’s because she saw it on Monae or Toya’s phone.
Pulling up to my house out on Star Island, I parked my car and turned the ignition off. Monae had fallen asleep, due to the hour drive, so I reached over and shook her. She woke up, groaned, and then reached in the back for her purse before she got out of the car. I noticed Charlie’s car wasn’t in the driveway, so I figured that she had to be on her way over. For the past month, Charlie had been crashing at my house with our daughter, only going home on the weekends. I don’t know what type of point she was trying to make, but she might as well just move in. I mean, if we were going to make this relationship work, she may as well stay her ass over here for good.
We got out of the car in silence and walked up to the house. I unlocked the door and let Monae go inside first and then I went in after her. I typed in the code for the alarm and watched as Monae took the spiral stairs up to her room. I knew she was pissed, and I knew that she wouldn’t be coming down anytime soon. I walked into the kitchen find something to eat, but there wasn’t shit here for me to warm up, and I didn’t feel like eating any of the junk food that we kept in the cabinets for China.
“Monae!” I yelled, walking into the foyer of the house so she could hear me.
“What?” she screamed down.
“Come down here right quick,” I yelled back up.
A few minutes later, she made her way down the stairs. I noticed that she had changed out of her shorts and threw on some tights.
“What?” she asked, standing at the bottom of the staircase.
“Come make your big brother something to eat, please. It ain’t shit in here for a nigga to warm up,” I confessed.
“Wait, so let me get this straight. You barge into my room, catch me having sex, jack me up, fight with Quay, and then have him break up with me, and now you want me to fix you something to eat?” she asked, looking at me with confused eyes.
“Come on, girl, with your shit talking ass,” I said, pulling her and wrapping my arm around her shoulder.
I kissed her cheek and she walked to the kitchen to whip something up while I went into the den to watch videos. As soon as I put the TV on MTV Jams, my video, Thugged Out Bitch started playing. Out of all the damn videos I have, this had to be my favorite. Not only because my baby mama was in it, but it was our story, and the shit was real and true. I pissed a lot of my bitches off with this video, but shit, I didn’t care.
Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang and it sounded throughout the whole house. I knew it wasn’t anyone except for Charlie’s ass. She insisted on not using the key that I told her she can keep, saying she didn’t want to overstep her boundaries. In her head, I think she still thought of us as just the parents to China and that we were co-parenting. I’ve expressed to her numerous times that I was ready for a relationship, but I just needed her to bear with a nigga because I knew I wasn’t a saint. I got up from the couch and went to answer the door. I opened it and Charlie was standing there with China directly in front of her. I opened the door for them with a big smile on my face.
“Hey Daddy,” China said and wrapped her arms around my neck as I picked her up.
I noticed Charlie was still standing there, texting away on her phone.
“I’m not staying. I just dropped her off. I have to head back to the store. Inventory coming in at four, and I want to help out,” she said, finally looking up from her phone.
I put China down and told her to go in the house, and then I closed the front door and stepped closer to Charlie. I admired the tight fitting black dress that she wore, which stopped a little bit before her knees, and her red spiked out blazer. On her feet were a pair of black Christian Louboutin’s and her red hair was parted down the middle with wand curls. Beautiful wasn’t even the word to describe this woman standing in front of me.
“Charlie, you own that motha fuckin’ store! I bought that shit so you can order bitches around and look good while doing it. Let the people who work for you handle that other shit, that’s not your job. You worked already today, why do you feel the need to go back?” I asked her.
“Jaquan, you know how I am and when inventory comes in, I want it stocked perfectly. If I don’t go, I’m going to be calling around there every five minutes to see what’s going on, so I might as well be there and help,” she said.