It was so crazy that I was actually lusting over a guy, because all of my life, I had been a beautiful girl, so I’d become so accustomed to guys seeing me and pretty much worshipping the ground that I walked on. I grew up in a two parent household, just like Jerrod, so you can only imagine the level of strictness that both my parents had on me, especially with me being an only child. I wasn’t able to date until I graduated high school, and because I had been pretty much sheltered my entire life, when I went off to college, I guess you can say that I was a little bit boy crazy.
I wasn’t a hoe or anything like that, but I did attend more parties than I care to remember where I had a few drinks, which led to a few one night stands. In college, I had dated a few boys here and there who were all attractive, but none of them had me batting my eyelashes or crossing my legs every minute the way that I was with Jerrod. He just had this aura about him that made it so hard not to lust over him whenever you were in his presence.
“Thank you, babe,” I said.
“Talk to me. Tell me what’s on your mind. Not to bring her up or anything, but one of the reasons why my wife and I didn’t work is because we failed at communication. There were problems, but we wouldn’t address them until it was too late, and then all of that anger would have built up, and I don’t want that with you. If it’s a problem, I would like for the two of us to be adults about it and talk. You have this look in your eyes, like you want to get a few things off your chest, so now is your time. That’s actually why I arranged for us to have dinner tonight. I know you’ve been a little upset with me since the other day, so you have the floor,” he said right before he raised his glass and took a sip.
The way Jerrod was always so demanding and dominant made it so obvious that he had the type of job, where he was the one was always giving out the orders. Right now, we were in the beginning stages of whatever we were doing, so I still found it attractive that he could take the floor and be the one to call the shots. If I stuck around longer, who knows if I would still be as receptive to and flattered by his demanding attitude?
“Do you love me, Jerrod?” I asked him.
It was honestly a question that I had been dying to ask for a while but was just too afraid to do so. As if we were in a room that was filled with thousands of people and I’d put him in the spotlight by asking that question, I watched as he shifted in his seat. If I didn’t know any better, I would think I even saw a few sweat beads form on his face. The cloth on the table that had our silverware wrapped up in it, he removed it and wiped his face with it. I’m not going to lie, seeing him react like that to a simple question made me feel some type of way. He cleared his throat, and then he finally answered my question.
“I’ll be honest with you, Valentina. I love you as a person. I don’t love you yet in the way that I’ve loved my wife. You can’t get mad at me for feeling this way, though, because eventually we’ll get there. Do you think that I just started loving my wife overnight? No, it took time. Same thing applies to what you and I have going on. Give me some time to love you in that way and to fall in love with you, alright?” he asked me, and I nodded because I did respect him for being honest. He could have lied and told me what I wanted to hear just to make me feel
good, but he chose not to.
“What about honesty? Can you honestly say that you’ve been honest with me in everything that you’ve told me since I’ve been in your life? Mainly, I’m talking about the divorce papers. It’s just something about that story that isn’t adding up to me. You told me that it’s your wife who isn’t signing the papers, and I’m having a hard time believing that. Tell me something, Jerrod. Is it really her that’s not willing to sign the papers, or is it you?” I finally asked.
This was another question that I’d grown the courage to finally ask. Just like the previous question, he started shifting in his seat, and this time, I didn’t have to question if he was sweating or not because it was so damn obvious. I was so angry because he’d basically just answered the question physically without answering it verbally, and for that, I was getting ready to storm off and just call an Uber to take me home.
A woman and a male approached the table who I’d never seen before, and I was curious to hear what they had to say. The woman who was standing so close to the table like she was our waiter, or something, was very attractive. She had caramel skin just like Jerrod and a head filled with nice, natural hair that she had pushed back with a Gucci headband to match the Gucci sweater dress and heels that she wore. The guy standing behind her was dressed like it was some sort of hood reunion and he stood behind her, as if he were her bodyguard or something.
In the short-sleeved Gucci shirt that he wore, I could see the many tattoos that adorned each of his arms and hands, and I could only imagine how his chest look once he came out of that shirt.
Hood boys have never been my type. I was attracted to black men, but I had limits. I loved a black man who dressed up in a suit and tie and didn’t call me bitch as a term of endearment. I also went for the black man who was educated and had a career where he made double of what I made and so on. Seeing this man standing not too far away made me a little uncomfortable to the point that I pulled my Chanel purse closer to me, just in case he had any hopes of taking it. I wasn’t racist by any chance because my father was a black man, but he just wasn’t hood. He reminded me a lot of Jerrod actually.
“What’s going on, brother-in-law?” the woman asked with sarcasm dripping from every word that came out of her mouth.
From what she’d called Jerrod, I assumed that she had to have been Jerrod’s wife’s sister. I wasn’t sure of the relationship that Jerrod had with this woman, but from the look of annoyance that was plastered on his face, it was obvious that the two of them weren’t very close or he just didn’t like her.
“What’s up, Sky?” he asked, never bothering to even look in her eyes when he spoke to her.
“I’m going to take your lack of eye contact with me as you feeling like a typical nigga who just got caught doing something that he had no business doing. I never speak to you regarding my sister and your marriage, but I’m going to say something now. Were you aware of the fact that Jaden was discharged from the hospital today? I doubt it because you didn’t make it your business to come around and show your face. You’ve been with my sister long enough to know that I’m like her journal, meaning that she tells me everything. One of the things that’s standing out to me right now is you taking your precious time in signing the divorce papers that she sent to you almost a month ago, yet you’re out having five-star meals with a bitch while you continue to prolong the process of the divorce. You really are an ain’t shit ass nigga, and from the beginning, I never knew exactly what my sister actually saw in your ass,” she nastily said right before she grabbed the dude’s hand that she was with and turned to walk away.
She had insulted me by calling me a bitch, but I wouldn’t dare check her for it because she had just stood there and talked to a grown ass man like he was the scum of the earth, so I could only imagine the way she would chew me out for trying to check her. That wasn’t even what I was mad at, though. It was the fact that the reservations I had about the divorce all along had been proven to be true. Jerrod was the reason why he and his wife hadn’t divorced yet, and like a typical man, he looked me right in my eyes and lied about it.
I felt like such a fool. Not only that, but I was embarrassed too. As much as I wanted to launch the glass that I was drinking from at him, I didn’t. I chose to be a lady about the situation and removed myself from the table then angrily stormed out of the restaurant. You want to know the crazy thing about this? As I stood outside, requesting an Uber, he never came after me. He never called my phone, sent a text, or anything, and that spoke volumes. It said to me loud and clear that I wasn’t his wife, and I didn’t have it like that, because if I did, he would have at least made sure that I was alright.
As I waited, I couldn’t help but think about the phone call that he accepted from his wife a few days ago when I was in the car with him. I watched the way his whole demeanor changed when she called. She made one request, and that was for him to get his ass down to that school and pick up their daughter, and like she was the one who wore the pants in their marriage, he took off. He took off in such a hurry that it probably never even hit him that he’d gone to pick up his daughter with his side bitch in the car with him.
6
Takari Evans
“Mommy, let’s get these. You never buy these for us,” my daughter said and picked up a box of Rice Krispie treats, which reminded me why I didn’t bring her or any of my children grocery shopping with me.
What could be just a quick run to the store would turn into a full shopping spree. Granted, today was a full shopping spree because I’d been spending all of my days and nights in the hospital with my son while he recovered from getting shot, so I hadn’t been able to take care of anything on the home front. Jaden had been released from the hospital yesterday evening, and while my sister was at my house with him and Journey, I used this time with my daughter to go grocery shopping for the house.
Speaking of Journey, it took me getting down on my knees and asking God what he wanted me to do with that entire situation. Because, at the end of the day, she was still my daughter, and I couldn’t just throw her to the wolves like her life didn’t mean anything to me. I loved my daughter to death, I was just very disappointed in her actions right now. It’s like no matter how much I tried to preach to her about making better decisions, she still felt like she was grown and that she could do whatever she wanted.
Weeks after the shooting, I was still questioning myself on why the hell this thirteen-year-old girl with a fuckin’ brain would think that it would be okay to be outside in the projects at that time of night? If something hadn’t happened to Jaden, she could have easily been the one to get shot. I was trying my hardest not to ask her about this boy that she’d been sneaking around with for the sake of her and my other two kids because I wasn’t trying to go to jail.
Meeting with the guy who impregnated my thirteen-year-old daughter and had her sneaking out the house, I knew that nothing good would come from that situation. Although I didn’t know for sure, I had my suspicions that he was the reason why Journey wasn’t my sweet, loving, and caring daughter anymore.
“You can get them, and that’s it. Don’t ask me for anything else,” I said, looking down at the sheet of paper in my hands that held my grocery list.
I’d managed to get the majority of the things I needed, but there were still a few things left on the list. My daughter was so happy about me agreeing to her getting the snacks that she came over and did a little happy dance right before she hugged me and thanked me.