I guess a part of me was a little naïve because I just didn’t think that my daughter was talking to boys, let alone kissing them in the hallways. I didn’t want to be that mother who went through my child’s phone, so when she told me that she was on the phone with her homegirls from school, I believed her. I remember how tough and strict my best friend Brooklyn’s mother used to be on her when we were younger, and because of that, Brooklyn hated her mother. She used to get upset with the fact that her mom was always trying to trace her every move and how she had so many rules. I promised myself that when I had kids, that I would try to be as lenient as possible. The things that Brooklyn used to say about her mother, I would die if any of my kids ever talked about me in such a way.
I tried to call Jerrod and let him know what was going on, and he quickly shot me a text back, letting me know that he was busy but still asking if everything was alright with Jada and me. Since the little dispute that he and I had about a week ago, things between us hadn’t really been the same. I didn’t know what to think of my husband anymore. That comment that he made about me not having rights to anything really struck a nerve. The comment that he made about him taking all three kids if I ever decided to leave him wasn’t sitting well with me either. For the first time in my life, I had to really question the person that I married and ask myself if this was a good decision.
At the time, I didn’t think anything about signing the prenup because I just knew that divorce was never going to be an option. In a way, yes, I was naïve. Plus, I really wanted to marry him, and he told me that if I didn’t sign the papers, his father wouldn’t leave him the business. I knew how much that business meant to him, which was another reason why I signed. I couldn’t get those words that he said to me out of my head, and I could feel the love that I did have left for him slowly drifting away.
I didn’t even pressure him about coming home anymore. Most nights, I either slept in the room with Jada or Jaden because I just couldn’t stand to be around him.
The time finally came around for me to pick up Journey from her detention. Jada was in the back seat watching a movie on the iPad with her headphones in her ear, and she’d let me know at least ten times since she’d been up that she was feeling better. My mom went ahead and picked up Jaden from school for me, so once Journey came to the car, I would be on my way to pick him up.
It took about five minutes before Journey finally came out of the double doors, and the first thing that I noticed about her as she walked to the car was that her uniform collared shirt was pulled up like she was purposely trying to cover her neck. I silently closed my eyes, and I counted to ten in my head, praying to God that she wasn’t disguising what I thought she was. At this moment, I was overjoyed that Jada’s headphones were in and she was so wrapped up in watching Hotel Transylvania 3 that she wasn’t even paying the two of us any attention.
Journey lived for sitting in the front seat, so I knew something was up when she got to the car and tried to be slick by getting in the back.
“No, get up here in the front. I need to talk to you,” I let her know right when she opened the door in the back.
She looked at me hesitantly for a few seconds and then she closed the door and climbed in the front seat, right before she placed her backpack down on the car floor. The car was still in park, and I casually leaned over the console, pulled her collar down, and examined her neck. Just like I thought, a hickey that took up just about the majority of the left side of her neck was there for the whole fuckin world to see! It was fresh too, and I knew for a fact that that hickey wasn’t on her neck this morning. I didn’t think that I would have to start dealing with shit like this until she hit seventeen, or by the grace of God, maybe even eighteen.
“What the hell is wrong with you, Journey? So, not only are you sneaking around in the hallways kissing boys, but you’re even bold enough to have these little boys sucking on your damn neck? I don’t even want to have to ask you this, but are you having sex too?” I asked her, and she had the nerve to look at me like she was offended.
“Really, Ma? No, I’m not having sex! The boy that I was in the hallway kissing, that wasn’t even my boyfriend. Prior to today, I had never even kissed a boy. This was both of our first time doing it. We met up in the hallway just to talk, and right before I was getting ready to go back to class, he pulled me in to him for a hug. It just happened, Ma. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. What’s the big deal? You act like you weren’t kissing boys when you were my age,” she said.
I swear, it took everything in me not to slap her ass for talking to me like that. Out of all three of my children, I swear that this was going to be the one who had me in jail. I’ll never understand why Journey turned into this person. She used to be the sweetest little girl. I remember vaguely when the twins were born, and she would help me with them any chance that she could. It would be three in the morning, and the twins would wake up like clockwork, crying. Journey would get out of her bed, trying to help either feed them or change them, and if it was a school night, I would always tell her to just go back to bed. That’s just how caring my baby girl was when she was younger. Now, when I talked to her, at times, I felt like I was talking to the damn devil himself.
“The big deal is you’re thirteen, Journey! To answer your question, no I wasn’t kissing boys when I was your age, because unlike you, I feared my mama. I knew that if she were to have gotten the same phone call home that you just got today, my mama would have kicked my ass! That’s your problem right there, you don’t damn fear me! Please, don’t let my weight fool you. I don’t know how many times I have to keep preaching this very same thing to you. You’re letting a boy kiss you and suck on your neck, and you’re claiming that he’s not even your boyfriend. I would have much rather you told me a lie that you were in love! Don’t tell me no shit like that because you make yourself look and sound dumb. Hand me over that phone. You won’t be getting this back until God knows how long,” I said and reached my hand out.
Sucking her teeth, she lifted up in her seat so she could get the phone from her back pocket, and then she handed it to me. I placed the phone in the middle console and quickly pulled out of the parking lot.
It took us about twenty minutes to make it to my mother’s neck of the woods. My mom now worked a good job that she’d had for over fifteen years, but no matter what, she just refused to move out of the projects. She loved it there for whatever reason.
I’m not going to lie, I could see what she loved about having a candy lady who lived just a few doors down, having women around the building who did hair and nails, so she never really had to leave the building, or just finding out about the latest gossip that goes down in Miami. But even all of that good stuff couldn’t get me to want to move back to the projects.
From the time that I was born until I turned eighteen, I’d always lived in the hood, so now that I was in a position where I didn’t have to live like that anymore, I was for damn sure going to take advantage of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’d never forget where I came from because some of my best memories came from this neck of the woods.
“Mommy, can we go to the playground for a little bit?” Jada asked me as soon as I helped her out of her car seat. She had to have been feeling better if she was asking about the playground.
“Let’s go see Grandma first,” I told her, and she smiled while nodding her head up and down.
Journey was long gone up the steps and already inside my mama’s house, probably on her way to tell on me, which I really didn’t care about because I knew that my mom wasn’t going to side with her. Journey was wrong, and she just needed to own up to her shit. Since the door was already open, I walked right in, and the first person that I noticed inside the house was my sister, Sky.
“What you doing over here?” I asked, plopping down on the seat next to her.
As soon as I asked the question, Jaden came running from the back room and jumped into my lap. Like always, his school uniform was filthy, and from the splashes of tomato sauce that was on his shirt, I could tell that he must have had spaghetti today for lunch. Like I always did, I rained kisses all over his face, and he took off to the back room again, where he was more than likely playing his game.
“Mommy called me and told me that she was making chicken souse, so of course I came running. What’s going on with your daughter? She came in here and didn’t even speak. She went right to Mommy. I don’t know what she’s in there saying to her, but I know she’s snitching to her about something,” Sky let me know.
“Sky, that girl is going to have my ass in jail. The principal called me this afternoon and let me know how she personally caught Journey in the hallway kissing some boy. They gave her an after-school suspension, and when I go to pick her ass up, she has the nerve to get into my damn car trying to hide a hickey on her neck with her collar. I just don’t know what I’m going to do with that girl, Sky.”
“You need to beat her fuckin’ ass! I keep telling you that shit! Taking her phone is not going to solve shit,” she said, rolling her eyes.
At the same time, my mama came out of the kitchen with Journey, but instead of joining us in the living room, Journey went to the back.
“She told me what happened, and I made sure to let her little ass know that she was dead ass wrong,” was the first thing my mom said.
&nbs
p; I was glad that she was on my side with this one because when it came to her grandkids, I swear she would side with them over me. The food still wasn’t ready, and Jada kept bugging me every two seconds about going to the park, so I gave in, making sure to drag Sky along with me. Before we even made it to the playground, I went a couple of houses down and purchased a few of my favorites from the candy lady. Now that we had the things that we wanted, we took the stairs.
Once we went through the gate that led to the playground, Jada took off running. There was an empty bench that gave Sky and me the perfect view of Jada, so that’s where we chose to sit.