We were sitting at a circular table facing each other. She grabbed my hands and placed them in hers. I could tell that she was about to get serious because all of a sudden, I saw the sadness in her face and the way her eyes had begun to water a little bit. My ole girl used to be married to one of the hardest, trillest niggas in Miami, and being with someone like my ole boy had turned her hard. Meaning, she wasn’t emotional like most women. Even when I was a little boy, and my grandma would bring me down here to see her, she wouldn’t break down and cry when visitation was over like the majority of the women did. Hell, maybe she did that shit when she got back to her bunk, but she never shed tears in front of me, so to see her now, looking like she was on the verge of breaking down was different for me.
“I know that I tell you this all the time, but I’m proud of you, son. Most parents would hope for their kids to grow up and be like them, but I’m glad that you aren’t shit like your father and me. Although you tried, I think you quickly realized that that lifestyle just wasn’t for you. Coming in here and telling me that you’re doing what you have to do so that you can open up your shop is like music to my ears because you could come in here and tell me something like you are the biggest kingpin out in Miami. That would instantly break me because I know what comes with that lifestyle. This is what happens when you choose to live this life. The most exciting thing that happens to me behind these walls is when I get pictures from you and the kids, letters, or these visitations. Don’t let these things be the only type of excitement that you get,” she said then raised my hand and kissed the back of it.
“I hear you, Ma. Trust me, I’m good. You don’t have to worry about a nigga running the streets. I’m thirty-five years old with two damn kids that I need to be there for. I got a little son who wants to be just like me, and when it comes to my daughter, I got to treat her right and show her some respect, so she never has to get with one of these little niggas and have him dogging her out. I’m busting my ass out here, Ma. Like I been telling you since I was a little boy, I swear I’m going to have a fuckin’ palace waiting for you and Pops when y’all get out. Y’all deserve that shit. Alright?” I asked her.
Those tears that she had been keeping at bay finally escaped from her eyes as she nodded her head up and down. It hurt me to see my ole girl like this, but I wouldn’t dare cry behind this shit. Crying wasn’t going to make that judge double back on his sentence and release her today, so I didn’t see the need in dropping any tears, although my heart was broken behind this shit. This lady was everything to me and more, and I wasn’t supposed to be coming to see her like this.
It’s Saturday afternoon. I’m supposed to be popping up on her and my ole boy at their house, raging through their refrigerator and shit, seeing what they had to eat or drink. Just the thought of that being my reality caused a small smile to form on my face. We sat there for a few minutes, not saying anything to each other until she finally spoke up.
“So, what’s new in your life? When I ask that, I’m talking about a woman, Za’Kai! You keep letting me know that you’re thirty-five, but when are you going to finally settle down like most people your age. What’s your type, son? Maybe I can hook you up with one of my friends’ daughters on the outside world with you,” she offered, and I laughed while shaking my head.
“I’m good, Ma. I’m not looking for a woman right now. It’s going to take a strong ass woman to be able to deal with me, though. Most women can’t handle my ass, which is why I feel like it’s better that I just stay single. Also, the way women are so protective when it comes to their kids, I’m the same damn way. I don’t want just anyone around my kids like that. Not only do I have to fuck with them, but I’m going to need my kids to fuck with whoever I decide to bring around because ultimately, their opinion matters most. I’m chilling, though. I’ll fuck a little something here and there, but nothing serious,” I said, and she shook her head while rolling her eyes at the same time.
“God, you sound just like your father! You just make sure that when you're out here fuckin’ a little something, that you strap up! Fuck around, and your damn dick falls off!” she said, dead ass serious.
I couldn’t do shit but laugh. The harshness and serious in her voice could only mean that this was coming from a place of experience. It was no secret that my ole boy used to fuck around on my ole girl, and that was where all this animosity was coming from right now in her voice. For the next thirty minutes, we talked about all types of shit.
I always felt like these visitations went by too damn fast. Since a little boy, the hardest part was always when she turned her back to go
her way, and I turned to go mine. I never stayed around to watch her join the line with the rest of the inmates right before they went through those double doors to go back to their cells because that was just some shit that my heart couldn’t physically take. It felt like we were in court, and I was listening to the judge sentence her, so I chose not to stick around for it.
I was back in my car, and the clock on the screen read 3:06 P.M. My ole girl was in the Tallahassee prison, and I could easily book a room at a hotel and just jump back on the road in the morning, but I promised the kids that I would take them to the zoo tomorrow morning. I wasn’t looking forward to this seven-hour drive because I’d just done it this morning, but here I was, stopping at a local gas station to fill up, piss, and grab some snacks and Backwoods for the trip.
I had a whole fuckin’ concert going on in my car as I blasted Lil Wayne’s V album, used my right hand to handle the steering wheel, and my left to smoke from the perfectly rolled blunt that I’d pulled over on the road for a few minutes to roll up.
It was going on ten at night, and I was two exits away from getting off the highway. A nigga had to piss, and I wanted some real food in my life because I’d long ago finished the chips and candy that I’d purchased from the gas station hours ago. I knew that I was a fast driver, but some asshole was behind me driving faster than I was. If I slammed on my brakes at any second, there was no doubt that they would slam into the back of my car. Obviously, whoever was in that car was in some type of rush, so I kindly got the fuck out of their way, and they continued driving fast. Now, the person that they’d gotten behind was driving too slow, and they were right back behind me.
“Fuck is this stupid bitch driving all crazy for?” I asked out loud.
At the same time, the asshole in front of me slammed on the brakes, which caused me to slam on my brakes as a reaction to them. And the very thing that I was scared of happening, actually happened. The car behind me went crashing into the back of my pretty ass Dodge Challenger, and a nigga was seeing red. The dumb ass car that slammed on their brakes in front of me for no fuckin’ reason ended up continuing to drive, which just left me and the other driver behind me with their car damn near glued to mine.
I put my car in park, and before I stepped out, I grabbed my gun from the console, placing it in the waistband of the jeans that I was wearing, just in case this shit was a setup. Where I was from, niggas would purposely rear end your shit, just to get you to step out of the car so they could rob your ass. Granted, the car that was behind me wasn’t the cause of this accident, but you could never be too sure in Miami.
When I got to the back of my car and saw the damage, I threw my hands up in frustration. Granted, the shit could be fixed, but damn! I hadn’t even had this car for a year yet, and the shit was already messed up. The driver hadn’t even gotten out of the car yet, so I walked over and banged on the window with my fist. It was dark as hell outside, plus they had tints on their windows, so I couldn’t make out if it was a woman or a man.
It took a few minutes, but the driver’s side door finally opened, and I saw the driver’s body slumped over the steering wheel. The figure behind the wheel was small, so I instantly thought that maybe it was a teenager or something. Her long hair was blocking her face, and she was moaning like she was in pain. The airbag had flown out, and pieces of glass filled the dashboard from the force of the crash. I went to pull her arm, and she screamed.
“Don’t touch me! Don’t fuckin touch me!” she screamed, followed by a small cry.
I ran my hand down my face, thinking that God really thought He was funny. Like, this man really had a crazy sense of humor. I knew that voice with that fucked up ass attitude from just about anywhere. What was so crazy to me was had her dumb ass never been speeding, then she wouldn’t have run into the back of my car. The whole accident wasn’t her fault, but she did play her part. Now, she was yelling at me because she was in pain, like I was the one who had her doing one hundred miles an hour on a 65 miles per hour highway.
“Let me help your dumb ass out, yo!” I said, going for her arm again.
She screamed again, just as loud, if not louder. That’s when I pulled my phone out, so I could flash the light in the direction of her arm. When I saw the way her arm was leaning, I knew then that her shit was broke, which was why she was screaming like a damn mad woman. I used the button that was on the side of the door to push her seat back. I think she knew that it was me because she wasn’t trying to fight me off. It was almost as if she felt comfortable with me. Either that, or she was in too much pain to put up a fight.
Now that her seat was pushed all the way back, she was able to throw her hand on the back of the headrest, and all she did was sit there, moaning and groaning, as if she was in the worst pain of her life. For whatever odd reason, I no longer gave two fucks about my car and the damage that had been done to it. I was worried about her well being and getting her to the hospital.
“I’m going to call a tow company, so they can come and pick up your car. My shit is drivable, but yours isn’t. Your front window is busted out and shit, and the front is pretty much totaled. Can you get out of the car?” I asked her.
She used her good hand and pushed her long hair out of her face, and that’s when I was able to see her entire face. Sure enough, it was her pretty ass. Her eyes were bloodshot red, and even in the midst of her ass being in the wrong and in pain, she still managed to show that her attitude was still just as fucked up as it was the past two times that I came in contact with her.
When she saw that it was me standing before her in the flesh, she had the nerve to roll her eyes. I could only hope that those bitches got stuck for good.
“I can call the tow company my damn self. I don’t know you, so I don’t trust you! You and I are like the only two people on this dark ass road, and you can do anything to me right now. Move!” she went on to say.
She tried to reach for the door with her bad arm and close it, but the only thing she ended up closing was her mouth from that bullshit that she was spitting. A loud squeal came from her lips, and I knew it was from the pain.
“Your problem is that you talk too fuckin’ much! I look like the type of nigga that gotta take pussy from a bitch?” I asked because I knew what she was getting at.