“Hello, are you still there?” I asked into the phone.
“Ima always be here, shorty,” his deep voice boomed into the phone, making my damn stomach turn.
There was a time when I could cum just off hearing his voice alone, and now I hated to hear him speak. It had been months since I heard his voice, and I didn’t even miss it. I sucked my teeth when I saw that it was him calling and wasting my damn time. I looked down at the number on my work phone, and it was a number that I didn’t even recognize, which meant that his ass was back to downloading apps and getting numbers to call me from. God, he was so fuckin’ desperate!
Where the fuck was all this energy when we were together? There were times when I would be mad at him, and as a woman, I would want him to chase me, but he wouldn’t. Whenever we were beefing, he would use all of his phone time for his son, pretending real well that I didn’t even exist.
“Why the fuck are you calling my phone, Trip?” was all I asked.
I shouldn’t have even given it my time, but this was a conversation that was long overdue. I was left with no choice but to change my personal cell phone number a few weeks ago because he was still calling, and I was hiding it from Miami. Look what happened the last time the two of them exchanged words! I ended up getting my house broken into and my ass beat. Yes, it was wrong that I wasn’t telling Miami that Tr
ip was back to calling, but damn, something had to give.
Miami thought that I changed my number because somehow my number had gotten hacked into a database of potential customers and that companies were calling me damn near every day, trying to sell me something. I mean, he didn’t question me about it, so I guess he believed me. I felt bad for lying, especially because I knew that Miami would never lie to me, but to avoid any more shit, I felt like I had to keep this lie.
“You know why I’m calling your fuckin’ phone! Stop playing stupid! This how you do a nigga, Shae? What happened to always being there for me? You leaving me alone in this situation to rot! You think Vonte would—”
“Whoa! Leave him the fuck out of this! Don’t you fuckin’ dare use my son to get some sympathy from me! Vonte would want me to be do whatever the fuck made me happy. You treat people like shit, Trip, and you expect people to have your ass on some fuckin’ high pedestal. When I told you that I would always be there for you, at the time, I did mean it. I really thought that I would ride this shit out with you, but I’m glad that I finally came to my senses. All I am is the baby mama, and the child that we used to share is no longer in the picture, so we don’t have a damn thing to discuss,” I let him know.
“Where my daughter at?” he asked.
I got so mad by that question, that I laughed. I had to laugh to keep from acting an ass. I was about to lay this nigga out real bad, but I didn’t want to do it at my job, so I quickly stood up from my desk with the phone to my ear, preparing to hang it up, only for me to *67 his number back on my personal cell phone when I got to the car, so I could tell him how I really felt.
“Give me two minutes. I just need two fuckin’ minutes, so I can tell you about yourself. I’ll call you back!” With that, I hung up.
I damn near ran out of the building, trying to get back to my car. I had to say something back to Trip. I just had to. This nigga had a lot of fuckin’ nerve. As soon as I made it inside the car, I put my seat belt on and I *67 his number back on the Bluetooth of my car.
“Yo,” he answered, knowing that it was me.
I got right back to the conversation as if I’d never hung up in the first place.
“Are you questioning me about the same child that you had your mama drop off at my fuckin’ job? I know that was your doing because your mama doesn’t have a fuckin’ clue where I even work. Your balls are big. Not only do you go and have a baby on me, but then you’re so fuckin’ confident in yourself, that you just know that I’ll step up and raise her. I want you to hear me, Trip, and please hear me good. I’m not raising Maya out of the goodness of my heart, I’m not doing it because I still have love for you, none of that! Point, blank period, that is Vonte’s little sister and she doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit! If she ever asks about you, I’ll give her the God honest truth, but know one thing, I’m not bringing her down there to that fuckin’ prison to see you, and if she begs me to, I’ll have Miami bring—”
“Fuck out of here. That nigga ain’t coming here with my daughter!” he cut me off.
“Nigga, your daughter is living in his home! That nigga that you’re referring to is making sure that your daughter has a roof over her head, clothes on her back, shoes on her feet, and she doesn’t want for shit. All these things that your sorry ass baby mama could give a fuck about. Miami is picking up where you lack, so you should be getting down on your fuckin’ knees and thanking him!” I yelled.
He had said so little but was able to piss me clean the fuck off. He’d always been that person in my life to hit a different type of nerve that would have me acting very irrational.
“Bitch, I’ll slap you in your fuckin’ mouth! Telling me to get on my knees to that nigga. He better get on his knees and suck my fuckin’ dick! Fuck out of here!” he said, making me release an annoyed laughed, with his ignorant ass.
“You’ve obviously been in jail too long and switched sides. I give my nigga too much free pussy and head for him to ever have to drop to his knees and do that. You wish that you could slap me in my mouth! You won’t even get the luxury of seeing my pretty ass. Even if you did have the luxury of seeing me and you did slap me, my nigga would kill your ass,” I let him know in all seriousness.
“You think real highly of that nigga. You probably been wanting to suck his dick!” he said, and I could hear the hurt and the anger all in his voice.
“Sure did! I used to get mad that I didn’t meet him before I met you! Miami had always been that nigga, and you know it. That’s why you hated his ass so bad,” I let him know.
I was so angry that it was causing me to speak how I really felt.
“You just like the rest of these other Miami bitches, which is nothing but a slut ass bitch, you just clean yours up a little better. In the beginning, I never questioned if you was fuckin’ another nigga because I just knew you didn’t have the balls to do that shit to me, now I don’t know shit. You jumped too fast into this shit with Miami. I swear I don’t believe that you just started fuckin’ him. I swear Ima get somebody to fuckin’ kill you deceitful motha fuckas. How the fuck you to this shit to me, Shae?” he asked, damn near on the verge of tears.
“Trip, you can think whatever the fuck you want about me. Your opinion of me isn’t wanted, neither do I fuckin’ care. I’ve moved on, I have a baby on the way—”
“Bitch, you pregnant by him?” he cut me off and asked.
“I’m going to let you go now because you obviously lost your fuckin’ mind and have me confused with your other bird brain ass baby mama. Of course, I’m pregnant by him! Why the fuck wouldn’t I be? Miami is a good man, so I’ll have as many fuckin’ kids as he wants me to have. I have Maya, she’s safe, and she’s protected. If your mama ever decides to pick up her fuckin’ phone, I can update her on anything dealing with Maya and have her tell you. Other than that, there is absolutely nothing for the two of us to converse about. It’s over, Trip. Whatever the fuck it was that me and you had going on ended the moment I lost my son, and I saw your true colors. Goodbye,” I said and ended the phone call on his ass.
I knew Trip, and I knew that he didn’t call back because he was hurt. More than likely hurt by finding out that I was pregnant. I didn’t care about what Trip felt because after all these years, he could give two fucks about my damn feelings. For the thirty minutes or so that it took me to get home from work, I drove with the radio off and just in my thoughts. I had no much shit on my mind. So many changes were happening in my life.