“He’s young though … Maybe he’ll change his mind.”
“But, I’m not. I don’t have time to wait and see if he will. What if he never does?”
“Is it just his own kids he doesn’t want, or any kids at all?”
“What are you talking about?” I wasn’t sure if my brain was mush from my crying jag, but I had no idea where Cass was going with that question.
“I mean, what if he met a woman with a child, would he not date her, or is he open to being a stepfather?”
“Are you telling her to have a kid with someone else, then chuck the guy and get back together with Brendan?” Ming asked, her face blank. We were both used to Cass’s crazy way of thinking, but this seemed out of left field, even for her.
“No, not exactly. But what if you were artificially inseminated, or adopted a kid … It wouldn’t technically be his child, and you’d get to be a mom. Win/win.”
I stared at her for a moment, trying to process what she was saying, but still coming up empty. I shook my head slowly and replied, “No, I don’t think so, because if we were together, raising a child … any child … he’d still be a father.”
Cass put her back up and said, “Jeez, you don’t have to shout, I’m just trying to think outside the box.” The she gave me a big smile and a wink.
I smiled in return, unable to help myself, and was overcome with gratitude at having these two women in my life.
“You’re crazy,” I said with a small laugh.
“You just needed to get outside of your head for a moment, and let go of some of the guilt,” Cass said softly, reaching her hand out for mine. “Neither of you are wrong, Bronagh, and you can’t feel bad for wanting what you want, just like you shouldn’t be angry with him for not wanting it. But I have to ask, if you are this upset, and he’s devastated over you breaking it off, are you positive there’s no way you can work it out?”
I leaned my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes, wishing with all my might that there was a way, then I sighed deeply and looked sadly at my friend.
“I don’t think so … If I talked him into having a kid, I’m afraid he’d feel trapped, and if I gave up kids to be with him, I’m worried that I’d end up resenting him.”
“Why don’t you give it some time,” Ming said, always the levelheaded one of our trio. “If in a few weeks you’re okay, then you’ll move on. No harm, no foul. But, if you still feel like you do now, then maybe you need to re-evaluate what you want.”
“That makes sense,” I r
eplied. “But do you really think it’ll take weeks? I don’t want to feel this way any longer.”
“Sorry, babe, it comes with the territory. But, I think I know what will make you feel better…”
“What?”
“A hot shower, your favorite jeans, and a comfy T-shirt. We’ll pick up some sushi, a bottle of wine, and a couple Melissa McCarthy movies. How does that sound?”
“Make that three bottles of wine,” Cass added with a grin, “One for each of us … and a sleepover. Girl’s night!”
I smiled gratefully at my best friends and said, “That sounds perfect. Thanks, you guys.”
“Anytime, you know that,” Cass said, crossing over to give me a hug, then pulling back with a curl of her lip. “Make that a long, hot shower.”
“Shut up,” I laughed. “If I remember correctly, you smelled pretty ripe after Tommy broke up with you senior year.”
Cass cocked her head and put her hands on her hips.
“He broke up with me on my birthday, because he wanted to go out with ‘All-the-way Ally.’ I was devastated.”
“You didn’t shower, or change out of those hot-pink sweat pants for a whole week,” Ming added, getting in on the fun. “You needed more than a girl’s night, you needed an intervention.”
“Whatever, it was high school, everything that happened when we were teenagers was amplified a hundred percent.”
“Ain’t that the truth?” I rose from the couch, roused from my funk and ready to wash the despair off of me. “See you guys in a bit?”
Ming looked at her watch and said, “Give us thirty minutes.”