“Uh, yeah, bring her back. It’s better if I let her go now, than drag it out and make her suffer more in the end,” I replied.
‘What the hell are you talking about, bro?” This came from Brendan. “That girl ran over here in her silky pajamas, and has been a rock for us while we waited to find out what was going on with you. She loves you, man … What do you mean let her go?”
“Bren, would you rather I ask her to put her life on hold and take care of me? She’s just getting started in her career, and there’s no way I can ask her to stick around when there’s a chance this shit isn’t temporary,” I spat out, pointing at my legs that were laying there, useless. “I’m not the kind of man that can have a woman coddling me, feeding me, and, what? Holding my dick when I have to go to the bathroom? It won’t work. I’ve got to let her go. Can you get her for me, Brady?”
Brady face was tight, but he nodded and left the room. Brendan shook his head and stated, “I’m not hanging around for this. I’ll be back.” Then he was gone too.
I closed my eyes, listening to the various beeps going off in the small room, trying unsuccessfully to move my toes. I was getting well and truly pissed off at the feelings of helplessness when I felt Victoria enter the room.
I opened my eyes, and worked on keeping my face blank as I took her in. She was wearing her silky shorts and tank, just like Brendan had said, and she had a hospital blanket thrown over her shoulders. Her hair was all over the place, and she looked a total mess.
I’d never seen her look anything other than perfect.
The look of raw fear and happiness, plain as day on her face, caused my heart to clench in my chest.
“Oh, Brock, I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said, rushing to my side. I could tell she wanted to hug me, but was afraid that she’d hurt me, so instead she grabbed my hand and held it firmly in hers.
“Thanks,” I replied, my resolve beginning to crack at the sight of her. I steeled myself from emotion as much as I could, and figured I needed to say what I needed to before I passed out. First, I allowed myself a minute to look her over, take comfort in her concern, and commit her beautiful face to memory. I closed my eyes, then took a deep breath and said, “Look, Victoria, shit’s really complicated right now, and with everything that’s happened, I really need to focus on my brothers right now.”
Victoria nodded absently, her eyes roaming my body from head to toe, as if she were looking for some injury that the doctors hadn’t found. “Of course,” she muttered.
“Victoria,” I said sharper than I intended, causing her to bring her wide eyes to my face. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt angry, scared, and worried at what the future was going to bring. I wasn’t the same man that she’d been falling for over the past few weeks. “Listen to what I’m saying. I need to focus on my recovery, and on my brothers right now. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I can’t worry about you and your feelings right now.”
Her look of surprise turned to hurt, and I realized that was the second time tonight that I’d put that look on her face. I hated it, but I knew I needed to keep going and get this done.
“Your life revolves around you, and your wants and needs, and that’s great, but I can’t deal with that right now. I need to be able to focus on my family right now, and I don’t have the time to worry about how you’re holding up … You get me? It was fine before, but this changes things, and I just can’t put forth the effort right now to deal with it.” I added a chuckle for effect, mentally berating myself for being such an ass.
Victoria’s spine stiffened, and her face went blank. I watched as her hand went up to smooth her hair down, and pull the blanket tighter around her shoulders.
“Are you saying I’m too selfish to be there to help you and your brothers in your time of need? That I’m too high maintenance for you handle?” Her tone was clipped, and obviously pissed, but I could also hear the pain she was trying so hard to mask.
She got it though, so I drove the knife in deeper and replied, “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
Victoria didn’t say anything else, just turned on her heel and walked away, her shoes flip-flopping their way down the hall.
“Bye, Tori,” I whispered, closing my eyes again and willing the meds to take me away from this shitty day.
Chapter 22 ~ Victoria
It had been a couple days since Brock had so unceremoniously kicked me out of his hospital room, and out of his life. To say it had come as a complete and utter shock would be an understatement.
I hadn’t left my apartment since I’d ran in that night, crying and exhausted. I hadn’t answered my phone, or my door, either. I was in a state of numbness, and I didn’t know how to get out.
I still got up every day, showered, did my hair and makeup, and dressed for the day … As if I was actually going to go somewhere. I didn’t. I sat on my couch, chaise, or bed, and read. I must have read ten books already, cover to cover, losing myself in different worlds, so I wouldn’t have to face the reality of mine.
I was lounging on my chaise reading my latest book, a paranormal romance about a pack of brothers who were werewolves, when I heard a key in my lock. I looked up, curious, but not really caring, to see Abigail walk through the door, two shopping bags in her hands.
“I knew it,” she said when her eyes surveyed the room and landed on me.
“What?” I asked, putting my book down, without trying to hide my annoyance at her intrusion.
“You … sitting there, looking as perfect as always, in your immaculate living room, lounging and reading like you don’t have a care in the world.”
“So…” I wasn’t getting her point.
“You just had your heart broken, Brock was a total douche, and you look like you’re ready for Sunday brunch. It’s not healthy,” Abigail said in a huff, putting the bags down beside me. “I’m here to help you process what happened, so you can move forward.”
“Process it how?” I asked, unsure I wanted to know the answer. With Abigail, it could be anything.