“Honestly,” he said, eyes on me, face totally serious, “I’ve spent my adult life focused on other things. There’ve been women, all of them willing. They knew the score. It was just about fucking…”
I bit back a flinch at his brutal honesty, not really knowing how to respond.
“Oh,” was what I came up with.
“Yeah, oh,” Cade said, his smile softening his face, then gestured between us. “This is different for me, so it’s kind of good that you’re out of practice. Maybe you won’t realize right away when I fuck up.”
That made me laugh, then I asked, bewildered, “But why? I’m just a thirty-five-year-old single mom, who lives in a shitty apartment and takes pictures of people doing shit they’re not supposed to.”
“And that all works for you,” he said, leaning forward, then sitting back when the waiter served our drinks and asked for our order.
Once he walked away, assuring us that our order would be up soon, I took a sip of my perfectly chilled beer, then focused back on Cade.
I was a little freaked that he’d chosen me for his maiden voyage into dating. It was flattering, a little scary, and, frankly, a huge turn-on. Although the fact that he’d previous only been with women for fucking wigged me out.
He’d probably be a master at it, and not only had I not had much practice, but one dirty talk from Slutty Shirley Finkle had been enough for my husband of twelve years to jump ship. I was terrified that I’d be a disappointment if Cade and I ever got to that point.
“So, what exactly happened?” Cade asked, thankfully changing the subject.
“With what?”
“With your ex … and how’d you end up working for a PI?”
I settled back and said, “Well, they kind of go hand in hand. See, I found my husband cheating on me and even though my kids were in the car and I was beyond shocked, I had the forethought to snap a picture with my phone before I left him and immediately filed for divorce.” I cleared my throat and hoped he didn’t think I was a psycho, before going on. “Then, in a fit of rage and humiliation, I printed up copies of the picture and posted them all over town. Moose happened to see one and found out it was me who took it and why, then he offered me a job.”
I looked up to see if he looked completely disgusted, and was surprised to see him grinning over his glass of whiskey.
“I think I saw that … Was it the beaver shot with the dude that looked like he was about to be murdered?”
“Yup, unfortunately, that was my ex … and yeah, she was pretty hairy.”
“Looked like a fuckin’ angry hedgehog.”
I almost spit out my beer, but luckily got it down before I started laughing out loud.
“Yeah, it really did.”
The food arrived and I stopped laughing long enough to place some of their famous mouth-watering gnocchi in my mouth.
When Cade leaned across the table and said, “Your ex sounds like a total pussy,” I had to agree.
“Yeah, he is … but I have to admit, it wasn’t all him.”
“How’s that?” he asked, taking a big bite of lasagna.
“We could both tell there was something wrong, for years, and neither of us did anything to fix things. If it was that easy to get him to cheat, I obviously wasn’t doing what I needed to do to keep him at home.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“No really, I got caught up with the kids and being a mom, and I didn’t focus as much on him … on us. I wasn’t the same then as I am now. I was a stay-at-home mom. I kept the house clean, put food on the table, and helped the kids with homework. I was a shadow of myself, but I didn’t notice until it was too late.”
“I don’t think it’s too late, I think it’s right on time. That guy didn’t know how to handle you, so you’re better off. Anyone who would let a woman like you go, for a piece of snatch in the back of a beamer, is a jackass who doesn’t deserve a woman like you.”
“For someone who’s never been on a date before, you sure are good at making me feel better about myself.”
Cade just smiled and asked, “How’s your food?”
“So good,” I gushed. “Yours?”