He's trying. Every day, he's making efforts to be a better father. To be there for all his children, including Eva, who it looks like we'll have around for quite some time to come. But there is still the dark cloud of Abel's trial hanging over all of us. The Tribunal delayed it until their investigation was complete and pending witness availability, given the recent circumstances. But now that Ivy is out of the hospital, they are ready to proceed this week. Tomorrow, we will come to know Abel's fate.
I thought it would be the hardest thing I'd ever have to do. Giving up the satisfaction of destroying him myself. Avenging my family. But glimpsing what life was like without Ivy, I know now it is the easiest choice I will ever make. If I don't have her, I don't have anything. She and Elena are my future, and Abel's destruction is in the past. It will be difficult, but I will accept Abel's punishment handed down by The Tribunal with the knowledge that it spares my family any further turmoil. And I hope that it will resolve any lingering doubts I have about Eli, giving me the answers that I need.
The door to the nursery creaks open, and I glance up at Eva as she sneaks inside.
"What are you still doing up?" I ask her. "And what is on your face?"
She tiptoes closer, smiling down at Elena in my arms as I'm rocking her back to sleep.
"I heard the baby crying, and I couldn't sleep. I was playing around with some ideas for a Halloween costume."
"A skull face?" I arch a brow at her curiously. "Halloween is still a long way off."
"I wanted to be like you," she answers softly.
Something pulls in my chest, and I feel another piece of my ice shield shattering. She really is a little psychopath, but I think I love her. In fact, I know I do.
"Santiago?" She digs her toes into the carpet, shifting around nervously. "Are you going to send me away soon?"
"Send you away?" I frown. "Why would I do that?"
"I don't know." She shrugs a shoulder. "You have the baby now, and I just keep thinking at some point you'll probably get tired of having me around. Especially if another baby comes..."
I stop rocking, staring up at her as I try to determine the right words. This feels like a test. Something I might face many times as a father in the coming years. And I think about what my own father would have said. There would be no words of comfort. No assurances. His word was law, and there was no defying it.
I am not my father. And I want Eva to know that. I want Elena to know it. I want them to feel something I never did.
Love.
But I'm still fuzzy on the rules. How to express it. How to receive it. In many ways, I'm like a toddler, fumbling through this new existence without a guidebook. But I try, and I think that is all I can do.
"I think I can safely say for your sister and myself, we don't ever want you to leave, Eva."
She offers a small smile. "Really?"
"But someday you will."
Her smile falls, and I rush to get the words out.
"Someday, you will probably go to college and then get married," I tell her. "But only to someone I approve of. If he's an asshole, it's not happening."
She giggles at the expression on my face, which I can only imagine is murderous, and then nods with tears in her eyes.
"You'll always have a home with us," I add quietly. "Always."
She leans in and hugs me carefully, and then kisses Elena on the cheek.
"Now you better get to bed," I say. "Or your sister's going to move your bedtime up."
"Alright, I know." She rolls her eyes and then heads for the door, pausing to look over her shoulder. "Good night, Santiago. Love you."
She leaves before I can say anything, but my quiet words follow her down the hall.
"Love you too."
* * *
"Is Elena okay?" Ivy murmurs sleepily as I ease myself back into bed.
"Yes, she's asleep now," I assure her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's okay." She blinks up at me with soft eyes, illuminated by the bedside lamp.
Upon our return, I had Marco assist Antonia in installing lights in most of the rooms again. The lighting is softer, and there are still parts of The Manor kept dark—for the moments I feel I need to escape again—but I think I am learning to live in the light now.
"Thank you for taking care of her." Ivy reaches up to stroke my stubbled jaw as I pull her against me. "I don't mean to sleep through the night, but sometimes, I’m so tired I don’t even hear the monitor.”