“No, I quit the firm on day one.”
Her mouth hangs open, eyes wide. “You're not serious? Why didn't you call me? Where the hell have I been?”
My head rolls on my shoulders and I look up at her under hooded lids. “I'm sorry I didn't call you. I just needed a few days to clear my head.”
“Don't apologize. You know I'm here if you need me,” she says with compassion. “So what happened?”
“I just couldn't do it. I don't belong there.”
“Wow,” she says, her brows wriggling up to her hairline. “He drove you out that quickly, huh?”
“One day, it took one day. I barely made it two hours.”
“Holy shit,” she says with a laugh. Waving her hand, she covers her mouth. “I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but I thought it would take a lot longer than that for you to quit.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn't end there. My father threatened Hardin, and his career.”
“Wait, he threatened Hardin? With what?”
“He basically said he'd ruin his life if he didn't leave me alone. They were actually wrestling in front of the house, yelling at each other, but I broke it up. Then Hardin left. I haven't talked to him since. He won't answer my calls, he won't return my messages. I guess I shouldn't blame him, his work is his life. If my father took that from him, he'd have nothing.”
“Millie, your father can't take anything from him.”
“Of course he can. He knows so many people, Kel. My father made it pretty clear that Hardin would never work in the state again if he didn't leave me alone.”
Kelsie sits beside me on the wood plank, her fingers wrapping the edge as she looks down at her feet. “I know it's hard for you to see this sometimes, but your father doesn't have as much power as you think. He can't just destroy this guy's job because he likes his daughter. He's only saying that to scare you into doing what he wants.”
I grab the trowel, and start drawing in the sand with it. “I don't think so, Kel. My father was serious.”
“Of course he was serious. He wants you to think he can do anything he wants. But the truth is he can't. You're still in control of this, Millie. You've always been in control of this, and that's what really scares your dad.”
“How can you be so sure? What if he can actually ruin his life? I'd feel horrible if I was responsible for him losing everything.”
“Do you love him?” she asks, lifting her eyes to mine.
“What?” I'm not sure how to answer. I know what I feel. I know what flows through my veins and makes my heart beat, but I've never actually said it out loud.
“Do you love him?” Kelsie asks again.
“Kel—” I start to say but she cuts me off.
“It's an easy question, Millie. Don't think about it, just blurt out the first answer that comes in your head. Do you love him?”
I chew on the inside of my cheek for a second and close my eyes. “Yes,” I finally say. “I think I'm in love with him.”
It's like a weight lifts off my chest, making me feel lighter than air.
I love Hardin. I love that man and how he makes me feel. I love how he embraces my strengths and tries to push me to do what makes me happy. I love his free spirit and the way he lives every single day like it's his last.
I love how his hands glide down my body, and the way his lips feel as they steal kisses. Hardin makes my heart come alive and everything around me brighter, bolder, and full of so much color it warms me from head to toe.
“Good, now go get him.” Kelsie nudges my shoulder with a big smile on her face. “You can spend the rest of your life wondering, or you can take that step and finally make your life your own. Isn't that what you've always wanted? To just do you?”
Kelsie is one hundred percent right. I've been demanding to have my own life, but instead of reaching for it and taking my slice, I've allowed my parents to serve me what they think I deserve.
I'm not them. I never will be. And I don't want to be.
“You're right,” I say, standing up.
“I know I am.” She smirks and winks. “It's hard being right all the time.”
I wipe my hands on the small rag in my back pocket and drop it to the ground. “I think I know where I can find him.”
“Then go. What are you waiting for?”
My hands nervously rake through my hair, brushing it out. “How do I look?”
“Does it matter?” Kelsie giggles, and shakes her head. “He won't see the dirt if he loves you. He'll only see you.”