And I realized being held by Fen was quite possibly the best feeling in the world.
17
Prima
To say I felt out of my element was an understatement.
I sat beside Fen at the long table that faced the great hall, a massive table reserved just for him and me. Two other long tables were situated on either side of us, filled with guards and esteemed guests, and of course Audun and Manning, rulers from ally kingdoms.
Aside from what Fen had briefly told me, I’d only heard bits and pieces of the other rulers, the villagers spreading rumors like a wildfire. But I kept to myself and didn’t pay those stories any mind.
The three of them had at one time been at war with each other. But then they’d decided to come together for the greater good, gained control of their current kingdoms, and every season they gathered to ensure their alliance and treaty held strong.
I glanced down at my gown, a traditional Kaldir design in every embellishment, our culture stitched into every thread. I could picture the artist creating this piece of clothing, taking seconds and minutes and hours to get things right, making sure they were intricate with every detail.
I ran my fingers along an especially beautiful yellow flower design stitched into my side, and a smile formed along my face when I first realized it was a reinrose flower.
My favorite. He’d remembered.
I glanced up at Fen, saw him speaking low with one of the thrallas, and my heart gave a little lurch in my chest.
He’d told me he had this gown specifically made for me the night he found out what my favorite flower was. He’d made this for me, created it with me in mind.
This man continued to surprise me at every turn, and I knew that despite whatever circumstances had brought us together, I didn’t regret being here for one moment.
In fact, I was anxious for the festivities to be done so we could go back to our room, so he could lay me down on the furs, and so I could finally give myself over to my husband.
That thought had me clenching my thighs together, thinking about what we’d done after we ate just hours before. I pictured all the wickedly dirty things he’d do to me tonight.
I felt a fierce blush cover my entire body, felt my neck heat as blood rushed under my skin and settled in my cheeks. I tried to focus on other things, things that would draw my attention from the lewd, almost crude thoughts and images that ran through my mind.
So I started focusing on each and every person seated at the long tables.
I’d been briefly introduced to some in passing when we’d first entered. There was Marric, who sat closest to Fen. I’d seen twice him before now—first when he’d taken me from my home, and the second time when he scared the hell out of me outside the training center.
What I did know about Marric was that he was not only Fen’s most trusted and loyal guard, but also his only true friend, and someone he’d known since he was young.
And because of that, I wanted to get to know Marric more, because he was clearly very important to Fen.
And Fen is becoming important to me.
I kept looking at the guests to focus my mind on other things. There were guards present, but also aristocrats of Kaldir. I was disappointed to not see lower-class villagers, civilians who didn’t have money or status. That did make me a little sad, because there were good, hardworking people who would love to be here and celebrate a special occasion.
I knew I’d speak to Fen about this. I wanted to be able to include the village in festivities.
As if he read my mind, Fen glanced over at me, the smile on his face genuine and slow. It made me feel flustered in the best way.
I still found it amazing that his harsh features could be gentle when he looked at me.
He reached under the table and interlocked our fingers before he placed our joined hands on his thigh. He smoothed his thumb along my skin, and even that small touch affected me so much. He made me feel as if I were the most precious thing in the world to him.
And the way he looks at me tells me that I am.
We ate and drank, and I found myself relaxing and enjoying the entertainment, listening to the stories of many of the people in the great hall.
Everything was so festive, like nothing I’d ever experienced before. But then I felt that prickling on the back of my neck again, the same sensation I’d felt in the garden when that stranger had been staring at me lasciviously.
I straightened in my seat, slowly looking around the room, but there were so many people, so much commotion and activity, that I couldn’t tell from where the unease came.