Once I was up and bathed and dressed, something I finally insisted to Lila and Greta that I would do on my own from now on, I made my way out of the bathing chamber and down the long hallway. My belly was full of fresh fruits and homemade bread, but a little fluttering in my belly had nothing to do with hunger and everything to do with looking forward to later this afternoon when I would see my husband again.
At the very thought of calling Fen my husband, I felt warmth fill me. A stupid smile was no doubt on my face, spreading across my lips. I thought about what we’d done and how strongly I was starting to feel for him in this short time.
This all just felt so… right.
And it was because of that happiness that I was worried, that I held my breath thinking something would be around the corner that would end this euphoric sensation I felt inside me. Surely someone’s life couldn’t change so quickly for the better, could it?
I wanted to see the gardens again, and I felt my face heat as I remembered why exactly. I remembered Fen pushing me against the stone wall and kissing me hard and possessively. I still remembered how I felt that first time, the warmth in my belly, the wetness between my thighs.
I shivered and blew out a slow breath, my gaze latched on the ground as something to focus on instead of where my thoughts were leading. Because the truth was, all I could think about was tonight when we were alone again and all the other dirty things I wanted him to do to me.
Fen’s touches and kisses were ones I’d only ever fantasized about, but not now. Now they were my reality.
I lifted my head when I heard the pattering of feet and grew startled that there were so many servants around. I moved off to the side when a young man carrying a large armful of flowers scuttled by me. He looked up at me, and his eyes widened as he skidded to stop and bowed low.
I felt myself become flustered at his attention to me, not knowing if I’d ever be used to people bowing as if I was something special. Because I certainly didn’t feel like I was.
The flurry of activity seemed usual. At least, it seemed like it was during my short time at the castle. Both mornings had been this frantic, with people rushing around, preparing for something.
Before he rushed off, I said, “Is there something going on? A celebration?” For a moment I wondered if it was something that had to do with the nuptials between Fen and me, but he’d asked me if I wanted one and at this point in time I didn’t see the need for one. My family was gone, it was just me now, and the act of creating this celebration given the circumstances of my marriage seemed… distant. Maybe later things would change. Maybe later I’d feel different.
The castle vaylanin looked startled as I asked him the question, as if he was shocked I was speaking to him. I wanted to tell him—assure him—I was just like he was, nothing special, no one of importance in spite of who I was now.
But another part of me knew that I needed to take the station seriously. If I was to rule Kaldir at Fen’s side and continue to make the kingdom prosper and grow, I needed to start acting like the queen I now was. And as strange and sometimes uncomfortable as the thought was, I also knew it was my reality, and I needed to take that responsibility.
I straightened my shoulders and gave him a smile, one that seemed to help lessen the anxiety that was clearly pouring off him.
“Visitors from neighboring kingdoms have arrived just this morning. Tonight there will be a feast to celebrate their arrival.”
I felt my face heat as embarrassment moved through me at the fact that I’d had no idea about any of this. And I should have, right? But then I asked myself, How would I have known? I’d been here for only a couple of days. Just because I didn’t know everything didn’t mean I was already starting out on the wrong foot.
But it still was a little embarrassing that I was finding out from a vaylanin. “Thank you,” I said, and he gave me one more bow before scurrying off. Maybe Fen would’ve told me later on. It wasn’t like he would’ve divulged all his plans to me first thing in the morning, before I was even fully awake.
But I’d ask him about it when we took our meal together, knowing I needed to start learning the lay of this land in the royal sense. I knew one thing for certain. I wanted to be something positive for my village. I wanted my station as a once-commoner amongst Kaldir to help make things easier. Because I knew how hard life could be.