Though I’d been there before when Mom died, I had my dad to lean on. He could have buried himself in his own grief, but he’d been there for me. He’d shown me the light when I’d believed it was my fault. She’d only gone out because of me.
What I hadn’t told anyone was that I also felt responsible for Dad’s death. We’d had a fight over Evan. Dad and I didn’t fight often and when we did, it was never anything monumental. It would be over and done before we could think too hard about it.
That last night had been different. I’d wanted my father’s approval so badly when he didn’t give it, I’d lashed out. And now he was gone, and I could never take back my words or tell him he was right. I couldn’t tell him how much I loved and respected him.
The evidence of how stupid I’d been was the bruise on my arm. Out of the shower, I decided not to go to the docs. My arm hurt, but nothing ibuprofen couldn’t take care of.
I fished out a cuff bracelet. It was wide enough to hide the marks. I thought about the women that covered up evidence of abuse and convinced myself this was different. I wasn’t doing it to protect him. I was doing it to avoid questions and then the answers I would have to give.
Then I left, locking up my house tight and wishing I had a better security system like the one I had at the bar. I had no idea how Evan was going to react to being locked up. I didn’t think I knew the real person who’d hidden behind a mask our entire relationship.
I hated the shaky feeling that consumed me on the way to the bar. I forced myself to walk on steady feet as I kept an eye on my surroundings. Sure, it was prudent for anyone to do that. I didn’t like doing it here or at home where I’d spent my life feeling safe.
I planted myself in my office but didn’t shut the door all the way. Jack barged in minutes later with fury reddening his face. “Let me see,” he demanded, as Jessie barreled into the room after him.
The office seemed smaller with two additional people hovering over my desk. Jack had my arm in his hand, and I sighed before removing the cuff.
“Holy shit,” Jessie exclaimed.
“I’ll kill him,” Jack muttered.
“You’ll do no such thing. He’s locked up anyway.”
“I’ll slash his tires,” Jessie promised.
“You won’t do that either. The last thing I want is his car at my house any longer than need be.”
“Miles is on his way over,” Jessie said.
“You didn’t?” I asked her with a glare.
“I did,” she said, holding my gaze as if daring me to say something else.
“Does everyone know?” I said, throwing up my hands.
“Most do,” Jessie said.
“You should go home,” Jack said. “I’ll handle things here today.”
I held his gaze. “It’s a bruise. I hardly think it will affect me running numbers.”
Jessie got a text from Miles. “I’m going to bring him back.” She left the office.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but with your father gone, he would want me looking out for you.”
“I’m fine,” I snapped, but then took a deep breath. “I appreciate you wanting to help, but really I’m fine.”
He nodded. “Okay then. I’ll get back to work.”
After he left, I put my head in my hands, only for Miles to be hustled over by Jessie. “See,” she pointed.
I gave in and let him exam my arm. He even took pictures. “You might want a record of this someday. Maybe not now, but if you do in the future, you’ll have it.”
Of course, Jessie thought it was funny to photo bomb a few of the pictures. I loved her more for trying to make me feel better.
When they left, I shut and locked the door. I was more out of sorts than I’d admitted, but too spooked to go home.
Aiden texted me later that he would be late. He told me where he kept a spare key and for me to use it.
I did.
In his room, I took off my clothes and got a shirt from his drawer before I slipped between his sheets. His pillow smelled faintly of him as I buried my face in it. Being that close to him even when he wasn’t there was the balm I needed to drift off into sleep.
Somewhere in the night, I felt him gather me in his arms.
I might have heard him say, this is where you belong. Right here with me. Or had I imagined that?
Chapter 22
Aiden
Emma’s ex-fiancé was a piece of work. I’d had to tune out his lunatic ravings on the way to the station so I wouldn’t do anything stupid.