…
I woke up coughing. The smoke was so thick it raked my throat as I sucked a savage breath into my burning lungs. I coughed and hacked and instinctively dropped to the floor.
While I was used to seeing very little, straining to make out forms and shapes in the dark, the darkness I encountered now was all-encompassing. The sun had extinguished entirely and left me with absolutely no light. But I knew the smoke was the reason for the black out, I could taste it’s carbon on my lips, and although sightless, my eyes burned with a ferocity I hadn’t even experienced with the windshield glass. I kept low and crawled on the floor while adrenaline spiked in my system, it made me sweat, it made my blood run cold, and bile rise at the back of my throat. But I kept crawling to make my way to the door.
When my head hit a wall, I screamed in shock. I knew how many paces it was to the exit. Rising up on my knees, I moved my open palms over the surface. It was hot, it was glass, it was also the far side of the booth away from the exit. It took my mind seconds to process that in my terror, I’d crawled the wrong way. I was completely turned around. I heard glass pop and shatter and the roar of fire that was silenced before from my sound-proofed box came charging forward making itself known. A whoosh sounded and another pop. Finally, I saw flickers of light from my seeing eye, but they did not comfort me. The only source of light in this hellfire was the flames themselves that were reclaiming the beast.
I tried to breathe in deep and accept my death, just as I had done seven years before at the site of my crash. I tried to tell myself I’d rejoin my parents, I’d be at peace, but then I grabbed my stomach and my heart tore down the center thinking of the tiny delicate life in there that depended on me and my strength to survive.
“Maverick!” I screamed into the roar of the fire.
“Maverick, I love her already,” I cried. “I want to keep her,” I sobbed.
The heat felt unreal, like my skin would scald on my face and arms and peel back from the intensity. My mother had taught me as a teen to peel a tomato by scoring the top and pouring boiling water from the kettle directly onto the fruit. The skin rolled off like magic and the naked peeled tomato sat in a pool of steaming hot water. I was that little tomato right now. I remembered my mom and the freckles on her arms and the sound of her voice. I felt like my lungs were caving in, as if the fire had stolen all the oxygen and left none for me. I curled in a ball around my child and prayed. I remembered how Maverick had put his nose to mine in order to stave off our first kiss. Then I remembered the taste of his lips as he finally gave in. I held him in my heart as I closed my eyes.
Go to sleep, little one. Mama is here. I won’t let go. This isn’t goodbye.
Chapter 13
MAVERICK
I blinked my eyes and rubbed them with the heels of my palms. My vision had gone blurry from crunching numbers so long. The good news was that Rogue was doing great, every single business was thriving. I’d put in more overtime in the last couple of months than I ever had in my life. Seen the four walls of my small office at Rogue more than I’d seen my own bedroom. Work kept me from thinking and feeling and it was the only way I could get my mind off of Sophie.
Sophie.
I knew she was the one, I knew she was it for me. But I loved her too much to hurt her. I’d rather die than to cause her more grief and pain.
I glanced at the clock and saw it was nearing midnight. No calls from Tight Ends had come in, surprisingly. I’d expected Reese to show up wasted and cause a raucous, throw a bottle or swear his head off like the entitled brat he was. I’d brought my Glock and had it on my desk because that’s how serious I was about scaring Reese enough to keep him from fucking with any of the girls at Tight Ends. I had my personal reasons, but I also didn’t budge for anyone who thought they could abuse or mistreat women and get away with it.
I trashed my cold coffee and put my gun in the holster, shrugged on my cut and logged out of my bookkeeping program. Figured I’d cruise past Tight Ends on my way home. I did every night, who was I kidding. I was too crippled by self-loathing to go in and check on her. But I kept her safe from afar, and I would do so until the day I died. I refused to curse her with my love, but I’d never let her go either. I was incapable of denying my love for Sophie, but I was also incapable of fulfilling it. I knew I was stuck in the worst level of Dante’s inferno, a purgatory of the heart, with no true way out. I’d go to my grave loving her even if I never got to hold her in my arms again.