Malik stood with his hands in his pockets.
“Family is never an intrusion in my book. Can I make you some coffee for the road?”
“Thanks, I’ll have to take a rain check.”
I hugged my brother goodbye. “Be careful out there and come back alive.”
I stepped outside and watched him drive away into the night.
When I came back inside, Sophie was standing in the entrance waiting for me with her arms crossed, but she dropped them and reached out to hug me as I closed the door.
I kissed her on the head and inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. Holding her close to me and knowing she knew my demons yet didn’t run away, was the first taste of peace I’d ever had in my life.
"I don't scare you, Sophie?"
She laughed, "Pfft. Not at all. Why would you?"
"I told you that I killed a man. I just assaulted you in your sleep."
"No, Maverick, you don't scare me. You make me feel safe.”
She took a deep breath, placed her head on top of my heart, making it beat even more fiercely. I wanted to keep her safe, but I was afraid her life with me might be the opposite. I sought out the good with all of my might, but my past came with me and it came with a price.
"I was fourteen when my parents died in a car crash. We were on our way to the beach for vacation. Everything seemed perfect that day, the sun was out, we were happy, singing and goofing in the car, but then out of nowhere a semi-truck changed lanes and we were in the blind spot. I think I learned in that split second that nothing is promised to us. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. All that you live for can be destroyed in a heartbeat. Your history, your dreams, the future you hoped for.”
I rubbed her back as she told me, but Sophie was so strong, she didn’t shed a tear as she spoke.
“I think I spent the last seven years looking for reasons to give up. Or find different ways to hide. It wasn’t until I met you, Maverick that I started believing I didn’t have to do it alone. That I could have a family, that I could let myself love and trust that it wouldn’t be taken away from me again. Don’t abandon me because you’re scared.”
As I listened to her, I felt my chest compress in pain. I loved Sophie, but I knew I was too fucked up to be what she deserved. I couldn’t cause her more heart break.
“Sophie, I can’t have kids, nor do I want them. My genes are filth and I would never bring a child into this world and curse them that way.”
I could see the surprise and anguish written all over her face. Her already bruised eyes began to tear in realization that the subject was a deal breaker for me, it was why I became enraged when she brought up her nursing aspirations.
“But you raised both of your little brothers,” she said to me with disbelief marring her perfect face. “You’d be an amazing father.”
There was the truth plain and simple. Sophie wanted a husband, a father to her children, she wanted to create a new family and have hopes for her future. I wanted to stop my bloodline with me and put to rest the horror of two people who never should have reproduced in the first place. I was ruined and I was cursed. I was a worthless piece of shit that didn’t deserve anyone—let alone Sophie’s pure and honest love.
I let go of the only woman I’d ever let into my heart, shrugged on my cut and pulled my leather boots back on.
Sophie stared at me waiting for me to tell her I wasn’t so cruel as to walk away from her like this. That I wouldn’t crush her spirit and take back all that we’d already shared.
I didn’t say anything to her as I walked out into the ominous night.
Sophie was too good for me.
And she was better off alone than with the likes of me.
A monster who had no business starting a family.
Chapter 12
SOPHIE
It took almost a month for the tactile pregnancy test to arrive in the mail, not to mention that it cost an arm and a leg. I had it sent to work, because in Brook Hill, people stole packages regardless of what they had in them.
I wasn’t entirely worried, my cycle wasn’t regular and had been off countless times before, and to make matters worse, I hadn’t been eating or sleeping well ever since Maverick walked out on me.
We hadn’t spoken in two months. But in true Maverick fashion, he still made his presence noticed in my life. Tommy suddenly gave me a hefty raise, a private driver took me to and from work every day. The same driver was given my school schedule and picked me up and dropped me off for my classes—the guy even insisted on paying for my food.