“It means she’s fucking insane! She sent this from the clinic she’s in. She’s trying to get under my skin.”
“Well, don’t let her, Cane! Seriously! Tell the clinic not to send you anymore letters from her!”
“How the hell can I not let her get under my skin, Kandy? When I think about her, my mind immediately resorts to the shit I would have done ten to twelve years ago. You don’t understand, all right? I want to get rid of her. For good.” His eyes were dead serious, more gray than green.
“You can’t do that.” I stared into his eyes. “She’s just toying with you. She probably knows I’m with you. I don’t know how, but I’m sure she has a gut feeling.”
“I don’t give a fuck about her gut feeling,” he grumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed. He dropped his face and pressed his palms to his forehead, groaning. I stood in front of him, lowering to my knees and grabbing his wrists, gently pulling his hands off his face.
“No one hates her more than me,” I said, “but you’re with me now, okay? You have me. I’m here, Cane.”
“I know,” he murmured. “And that’s what terrifies me. But it scares me even more when you’re away.” His lips pressed together. He studied my face, mostly my eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something else—something more serious—but he turned his head instead, looking through one of the windows. I had a feeling there was more on his mind—more he needed from me—but I was too selfish in that moment to ask.
I decided to change the subject instead. “Do you have to travel anywhere tomorrow?”
“No. No more traveling until next week.”
“Good, because I’ve been thinking about what you said a while ago about us having a getaway.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You said you weren’t ready to go anywhere else yet.”
“I think I am, but not out of the country or anything. I want to go to a place I’ve never been but have always wanted to go to.”
“Where, exactly?”
I grinned. “New York City.”
Cane’s confused expression transformed into a bright, bold smile. “New York City?” he laughed. “Out of all the cities, states, and countries, that’s where you want to go? It’s very overrated; I’ll tell you that now.”
I giggled, holding his hands. “I’ve never been, and I think it would be fun! Look—I’ve been scrolling through Pinterest for fun things to do there and googling hotels we can stay in. There is this one really nice hotel that has rooms that are pretty much made up of windows. It shows all the skyscrapers and buildings—they all seem so close, almost like you can touch them. I can show it to you.”
He smiled wider, eyes soft. “Damn,” he murmured.
“What?” I asked, nervously biting my lip.
“Nothing. I just haven’t seen you this excited for something in so long. Show it to me.”
I hopped up, grabbing my phone and then rushing back to him. I sat on his lap, and he wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder as I scrolled and clicked to get to the site.
“See?” I brought my phone closer. “The only thing is that it’s kind of expensive, but—”
“Done.”
“What?” I looked over my shoulder.
“It’s done. You want to go to New York City, we can go. Send that link to me. I’ll have Cora book us a room and we can fly out tomorrow.”
I turned as far as I could in his arms to see his face. “You’re serious?”
“As long as you don’t mind me making a few calls while we’re there, then I’m dead serious. You need to travel. See different things.”
Biting my bottom lip, I turned fully in his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and laced my arms over his shoulders. “Are you just saying yes because you feel guilty?”
“No. I really want to take you somewhere. Get you away—like, really away. Plus you’re excited about it. Can’t pass that feeling up.”
“Of course.” I rested my forehead on his shoulder. He held me tighter. “Listen, I’m sorry about not doing anything…I mean…”
I sighed. I couldn’t even complete my sentence. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I mean, everything seemed to be getting better. Ever since I had reunited with Cane, most of my nightmares had subsided. I had two incidents where I screamed in my sleep. The first time it happened, he was there to hold me and rock me back to sleep.
The second time, he wasn’t, but somehow Miss Cane heard me and came up to the room, holding me in her arms and humming a sweet song to me until I fell asleep again. She was the last person I’d expected. She really was a good person. Now I could see why Cane had fought so hard to protect her and to get her clean.