"I didn't mean it to come out like that," I said, giving his arm a sock while he laughed. He deflected it easily and held my hand loosely in his before turning serious.
"I can't wait until this heals up," he said, stroking his thumb gently across my discolored cheek.
&
nbsp; "Because it's hideous to look at?"
"No, because I don't like to see you hurt."
"I appreciate that," I said playfully.
"I'm serious. I like you, Rain—a lot. Probably more than I should, considering we haven't known each other long and with all the crappy stuff that's happened. Everything seems so messed up and distorted right now. I want things to feel normal. My gut feels like it's been shredded since yesterday," he choked out, swallowing hard before continuing. "Larry was a cool dude and I'm going to miss him. I feel torn up about that, but another part of me is happy that I'm sitting here with you. Is that effed up or what?" he asked, looking conflicted.
"Not at all. I'm sad about Larry and Evan, but I'm so glad you're here too," I said, lacing my fingers through his.
"You sure?" he asked, looking at me intensely.
"Probably more than I should be," I smiled, stealing his words. "The smart half of my brain is telling me to at least play hard to get, but I don't want to pretend with you."
"Well, then I like the dumb half," he laughed.
"Whatever. You know what I meant, you jerk."
"Hey, you set yourself up for that one. Seriously, you never have to pretend with me. I'm all in," he said, dropping butterfly kisses down my unmarred cheek. The fluttering touch of his lips on my skin made me tingle.
"I'm all in too," I said. My heart raced at the significance of the moment. "It feels like we took the long way to get here though."
"We'll call it our learning curve month. Trial-and-error period, you know?" he teased, lightening the intense moment.
"Well, since it's been nowhere near a month, are you expecting more trouble?" I asked.
He laughed. "Good point. It was a figure of speech, but I guess I should have chosen my words more carefully."
"I was just messing with you. I knew what you meant. We've been through a lot already. I don't know about you, but I can still remember every detail of our first encounter with embarrassing clarity," I admitted.
"Why embarrassing?" he asked, scooting closer to me.
"Because you hated me."
"Oh, here we go. I already told you I didn't hate you," he said, looking uncomfortable.
I snorted. "Uh, yeah, you did."
"That was an act. I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I figured you wouldn't step on those eggs. You looked like you were being cautious. I just wanted an excuse to talk to you, but then it sort of backfired."
"You mean when you accused me of being a selfish rich kid?" I reminded him.
"I was fishing. I mean, I was hoping you weren't like them. Then I saw you hanging with them later on. That sucked."
"Yeah, I made a lot of bad decisions this summer," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder.
"But, in the end, I got you here and that's all that matters."
I nodded in agreement. I wasn't happy with all my choices in Turtle Bay, but no one could say I hadn't learned from them.
"What's in all the notebooks?" Josh asked, changing the subject.
"Uh," I paused, debating whether to fess up about my writing. No matter what I said, he would likely ask to see them. That's what I got for taking them out of the box they were stored in. "Short stories," I finally admitted.