My own giggles joined his as we both recalled Dan tearing out of his tent that next morning as if the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. "I never thanked you for your help with that. He never guessed either of us were responsible."
"He locked his tent after that, remember?"
I nodded my head as the flood of memories tumbled in. We had a lot of camping trips growing up. Our families had done everything together. Trips, birthdays, promotions, holidays—we shared them all. Everything we did was better because we got to share it. There was a time I thought it would be that way forever. I imagined weddings, births of our own children, and celebrations of more milestones would be on the horizon. It'd been two years since we'd done anything together. The funeral. That was the last time all of us were together, and really even then I was the only one who was there. Before that it was graduation night and the dinner we'd all shared. It felt like a lifetime ago.
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Brian reached across the table and grabbed my hand, lacing our hands together. "Do you want to leave?" he asked, leaning over the table and stroking the thumb of his free hand beneath my eye. I looked at the tear glistening on the pad of his thumb. I wasn't even aware I'd been crying. I moved my fingers to my eyes, feeling the moisture for myself. So, I was capable of tears. Oddly, I didn't feel all that sad. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what I was feeling, but it wasn't the sharp edges of pain I was so used to.
"Kat," Brian asked, looking concerned. He scanned the restaurant in search of our waitress.
"It's okay. We don't need to leave," I said, picking up my napkin and dabbing it at my eyes.
"I shouldn't have brought up the frog. I know you hate talking about the past."
"No, I'm glad you did. I'd forgotten about that. It's a good memory," I said, meaning it. "I guess maybe it's time I start letting more of those in. My brain has been so stuck on the bad ones it can't seem to find a way past them. Really, I'm glad you brought up the frog. You were right that night."
"About what?" he asked, still leaning in.
"About Dan liking me. Do you remember telling me that?"
He nodded. "Dumbest thing I've ever done. I regretted it for a long time."
"What? Why?" I asked.
He shrugged, plopping another chip into his mouth. "I don't know. I guess I thought I made you aware of something I'd rather you didn't know. I guess I was hoping my declaration that night would have had a different result."
"What are you talking about?" I asked as our waitress set our steaming plates on the table.
He picked up his fork and took a hefty bite of his food before answering. "You really don't know?"
I shook my head.
"I told you Dan liked you because I was trying to get your reaction on how you felt about him. I was hoping that the idea of my brother liking you would have been appalling because you already liked someone else."
Understanding began to dawn. "Who?" I asked, setting my fork down without taking a bite.
"Me," he said, shoveling a bite of rice into his mouth.
"You liked me?"
"Yep, I snuck out of my tent that night when I heard you get up. My tent was next to yours, remember? I had this grand idea. I would bait you with the idea that my brother liked you and you would throw yourself into my arms and declare your love for me."
"You liked me?" I repeated, trying to wrap my head around the idea. He was right. After that night, Dan and I started to spend more time together. Eventually our feelings morphed into romantic feelings. I had no idea Brian had a crush on me the whole time. "How long?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I'm not sure. It would come in waves. I knew it was my fault you two got together, so I figured I had to pay the piper."
"It wasn't your fault. Dan and I were meant to be together."
He recoiled at my words.
I bit the inside of my lip, searching for the right words to explain what I meant. "It's just the way it was." Silence met my words as he ate his dinner.
Feeling terrible, I picked at my own food while I digested his words. It was hard to wrap my brain around his what-ifs since they didn't match my own. Dan and I were together almost seven years. He'd been my best friend, my partner in crime, the person I planned to spend my life with. I traced Brian's words back to that night. What would I have done if he would have declared his feelings for me that night? Would everything have changed? Did I only like Dan because Brian had planted the seed as he believed? It was hard to separate the two. For the life of me I couldn't seem to figure out the answer. It was as unsolvable as those movies where someone travels back in time and messes everything up. One thing was for sure, that night had changed a lot of things for me.
"Does that bother you?" Brian asked, breaking into my thoughts.
I blinked up at him wondering how he could know what I was thinking. "What? That you liked me?" I asked, trying to sort through my thoughts.