A startled laugh escaped my lips. "What?" I gasped. "You're joking, right?"
He didn't waver under my laughter. "It's not an unreasonable question. You're hanging out with a drug dealer, and you seem awful jumpy, like you're strung out. I'm not judging you, but I'm not going to let you disappear down some druggie path either."
I gaped at him. A part of me was touched he cared so much, though I was sure a part of that was some code he had because of his brother. "I'm not doing drugs, Brian, but if I were it really wouldn't be any of your business," I said, stalking down the sidewalk.
Brian reached out and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a halt. "It is my business, Kat. I care about you. Dan would—"
My hands came up in a reflex move, shielding me. "Don't bring Dan into this," I warned. "I don't need a caregiver, Brian." I tried to pull my arm from his hand but he held fast. I looked down at it. His hand was large and warm. Easily twice the size of Dan's. Everything about it screamed man. For the briefest of moments a mental image of it stroking my face filled my head. A spasm of disgust filled my stomach. What the hell was I doing picturing his hand touching me? He was Dan's brother, for crap's sake.
"Damn it, Kat. I'm not trying to be your caregiver," Brian said. "I want to be your friend, but you're making it pretty damn hard. You freeze me out for weeks on end without explanation, and when I am with you, you get all prickly."
"No one told you to be my friend, Brian. Dan isn't going to come down and haunt your ass for not being my friend," I said, jerking my arm away from his touch so the insane thoughts would stop tormenting me.
We stood there in shock, digesting my words. I waited for him to stalk away. Surely he realized I wasn't worth the effort.
He surprised me by throwing his head back and roaring with laughter. "If Dan came back and haunted me it would be because I claimed all the Xbox games and his iPad for myself once he was gone," he said between loud bellows of laughter that sounded like a hyena choking on something.
I told myself it wasn't funny.
Talking about Dan was painful. Words involving him weren't supposed to be saturated in laughter. Knowing this was one thing, but watching Brian laugh like some character from a cartoon made my own lips quirk with humor. Deep down I knew he was right. Dan and Brian had gotten along well, but they tended to fight over electronics. Their parents never bought duplicates of anything except their phones. They felt that by sharing they'd learn to respect what they were given. Both boys hated their parents' rationalizing growing up, and had many battles over whose turn it was for things. Dan mowed lawns for a whole summer so he could buy his iPad. He'd found great pleasure in lording it over Brian's head.
"You're evil," I said once he stopped laughing.
"Admit it, you know Dan is cursing me from whatever cloud he hangs out on every time I use his iPad."
"He's probably plotting your demise," I agreed. "So, besides giving me a drug screening, what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to check on you. You've been pretty hit or miss lately."
"I'll be at work in an hour," I said, looking at the time on my phone for verification.
"Please, you've been avoiding me like I'm some crazed zombie trying to steal your brains there. Besides, yesterday was my last day."
"Fired?" I teased, stepping beneath one of the lone trees to get out from under the beating rays of the sun.
"Nope, summer football is over. I can only do one summer session since I have to report to my own camp this week."
"You guys practice in this?" I asked, fanning my face for emphasis as a bead of sweat trailed down the back of my collar joining the puddle already in my shirt.
"It's not too bad. You should come out and watch us scrimmage sometime."
"And risk melting?" I teased.
"You can bring an umbrella. Anyways, I wanted to let you know why I'm not hanging out at the Y anymore. Didn't want you to worry or anything. I know how much you'll miss me."
I rolled my eyes at his teasing. "Because we know that was going to happen."
"Exactly." He winked at me. "All joking aside, can you be done avoiding me now?"
I weighed his words. Between my visits with Zach and Brian's insistence that we be friends, everything was getting muddled. Despite my desire to leave the past where it belonged, both Zach and Brian seemed hell-bent on dragging it all out. The smart thing would be to cut my losses now and distance myself from both of them, but I couldn't seem to find the will to do so. I was a glutton for punishment.
"I guess I have no choice," I answered.
The light dimmed in his eyes. "You always have a choice, Kat. If you want me to leave you be, all you have to do is say the word. Is that what you want?"
He was giving me an out. I could cut him loose now and go back to the way my life used to be. Having friends was overrated.
"No, I don't want that," I finally said.