I smiled somewhat grimly when I remembered how appalled my uncle was when I painted my walls deep purple and then proceeded to cover almost every inch of them with posters of hunky men. Being linked to one individual all his life, he'd never felt the sexual appeal of any other individual. Me, I could fantasize about all the hot guys I wanted because I belonged to no one.
You'd think that idea would give me comfort. After all, it seemed barbaric and degrading to be pretty much arranged to be with one individual.It's not like this was the Middle Ages or something. But when you saw it firsthand, it was anything but that. The Link relationship seemed beautiful and somehow natural.
I was way too keyed up at this point to sleep. I jumped off my bed and began pacing the floor. My mind was occupied with the same quandary I wrestled with every night. I came from nowhere. I searched my mind day after day for an inkling of my past before Haniel had appeared in the doorway of my hospital room, but all I ever find is a blank slate. Who forgets about their own family, their childhood, where they grew up? I can't tell you what my mother looked like or what cologne my father wore, nothing. I'm like a freak of nature, a lone wolf, a third wheel. Whatever way you diced it, that was me. The anomaly.
Anomaly. That was Krista and Mark's idea. They thought they were bestowing some freaking cool title on me when they'd discussed my abnormalities with me when I first joined them a year ago without a clue of who I was. Haniel had delivered me to them, claiming I had been in an accident that had resulted in my loss of memory. The whole thing felt like bullshit to me, but he digressed anytime I tried to question him. Krista and Mark welcomed me with open arms even though they had just barely tied the knot. I'm sure having a teenager pawned off on them during the honeymoon glow was a serious mood killer, but neither of them acted like it mattered. They treated me like I belonged. They were wrong though. I didn't fit in with them. I didn't have a Link like everyone else in their group. I didn't have someone who liked to be with me no matter what, even if I was being a brat. I wanted that someone to break up my monotonous dream-free nights that were filled with nothingness. I didn't want to be the freak of the family—but I was. According to Haniel, I had no Protector, and never would. My Protector had died before he was ever thought of, before he was ever conceived. He never existed, which left me the odd man out. I wasn't a Guide, an Ascended, or even really human it seemed. I was basically the heavenly equivalent to the bearded lady you'd find at some carnival. >Having an aunt and uncle who were kickass angels that visited the heavenly realm periodically was a tough act to follow. Even worse though was watching my friend Lynn reap the benefits of the bond that I just couldn't really understand. Loving someone unconditionally in that way was foreign to me. I've never come close to feeling that way about anyone. I adored Lynn to death, but obviously that was different. Plus, I never understood the sensitivity to emotions. All I know is it sucked when she told me she had to join Robert on some mission that had gotten out of hand. The Link they shared was a major pain in my ass. It had me thinking Mark's father, Victor, may have been right in resenting the whole Link thing.
In essence Victor did accomplish what he wanted. He'd managed to destroy the lineage in our Bands forever. I had no Link, and Logan, my distant cousin, had lost his Link before she was even born. Her mom died when she was pregnant, and from what I understand, the new generation of Guides and Protectors would be unable to conceive. I knew my Aunt Krista and her best friend, Sam, had been devastated when they found out. It was just another decision The Light had made without any consideration for those involved. Haniel said it was for the best, but seeing the pain on my aunt's face anytime she saw a baby made me call bullshit on that. Because of Victor, eventually the Links would cease to exist.
I pulled up behind my aunt's SUV and watched as Haniel disappeared from the front seat only to reappear outside the car in the blink of an eye. It was a cool trick, but I'd seen it a hundred times, so I really paid no attention as we headed up the cobblestone path toward the pretty beach cottage my aunt and uncle had painstakingly designed and built last year. The property had been in the family for years, but the previous house held bad memories for my aunt and uncle, so they finally decided to bulldoze everything and start over.
I was sliding my key into the lock when the front door swung open. The tall imposing stature of my uncle filled the doorway. The disappointment on his face said it all, but I raised my chin in defiance and swept past him. He could sigh all he wanted, I wasn't going to buckle. One way or another, I was going to get some independence here.
"Jordyn, are you okay?" my aunt asked, gathering me into her arms.
I hugged her back for a moment before stiffening up. "Krista, I'm fine. It was just two measly Daemons. I could've taken them with my eyes closed."
"Jordyn, Guides and Protectors have lost their lives battling two Daemons at once. You could have died."
"Gah, Krista, chill. They can't even touch me without becoming a fireball, let alone the fact that I majorly kicked their asses," I said, sinking down on my uncle's beat-up leather mess of a chair that he wouldn't allow my aunt to throw out.
"Jordyn, we've told you hundreds of times, one of these days they may figure out how to get past your defenses," she said, pacing back and forth.
"Haniel, how likely is that?" I implored my mentor.
"The likelihood is negative," he answered, confirming my statement.
I smirked and settled back in my seat, feeling self-satisfied.
"That does not mean one should not proceed cautiously," Haniel clarified, wiping the smirk off my face.
"Jordyn, your aunt and I are concerned about your attitude," my uncle said, pulling up a dining room chair in front of me. "We know it's not easy being different. We've all suffered from our abnormalities over the years."
I couldn't help snorting at his words. "Mark, you just don't get it," I said, finally fed up with the comparisons. They all had each other. They had their memories. They knew where they'd come from.
"Jordyn, I didn't know this was still bugging you," my aunt said concerned.
"How can it not?" I answered, aggravated. "I get it, okay? You guys are some mystical heavenly beings, but at least you know where you came from. What do I know? Frick all, that's what. I have one friend, Lynn, and she's always gone," I said in a huff with my words running together. "Oh, and did I mention that my mentor is an Arch Angel?" I added sarcastically before anyone could interject again.
"Jordyn, I know it's hard to be different. I spent the first seventeen years of my life thinking I was a freak. I could feel the emotions of everyone around me, got insanely sick if the emotions were too strong, and dreamed about some guy I didn't think existed," Krista said, shooting my uncle a small smile.
"Don't forget, I had to deal with the fact that my dad was a murderer, and that he not only ruined my life, but the lives of my friends," my uncle reminded me quietly.
"I get all of that too, but in the end, you guys found each other. You won. You conquered evil. When do I get a turn? We all know there's no link for me. You tell me you don't want me to date now. So, what, am I supposed to die as a big V?" I said dramatically.
They exchanged a look at my words.
"Seriously?" I asked, jumping to my feet to resume the pacing Krista had abandoned. "Virgin, okay? Virgin."
"We know what you meant, we just want you to wait," Mark said, trying to pacify me.
"It's not like I'm going to go backseat diving on the first date," I said, trying to hide my smile of satisfaction as my uncle's face turned a delicate shade of pink.
"Backseat diving?" Haniel asked, confused over the new phrase outside his human vocabulary.
"You know, making out with some guy in the backseat of his car," I explained. "Kissing, touching, removal of clothes…"
"We get the point," Krista said, covering up her own chuckle as Mark's pink skin escalated to a nice shade of purple. "Jordyn, it's really not nice to do that to your uncle."