I could. I would not leave MSC if there was even the slightest chance of staying. I simply nodded my head and sat quietly while a tutoring schedule and the parameters of my academic probation were outlined. School functions were out. My academic probation would be revoked and I would be asked to leave school if I was involved in any further questionable activities. A week ago, I would have balked at his words. Giving up school functions may not seem like a big deal, but that included football games as well. That was a low blow. For those of us born and raised in Woodfalls, where the most exciting thing happening was watching paint dry, football was our life. Cheering on the Maine State College Black Bears was almost as important to me as attending parties. I was being forced to quit everything cold turkey and throw myself into my classes.
The meeting eventually came to a close. I felt relieved and like I’d just had my ass kicked at the same time. God knows I had plenty of free time to stew over the weeks of endless tutoring in my future. I was halted by President Johnson’s parting words to Trent as I was leaving.
“It is commendable that a student of your caliber is unselfishly volunteering your limited free time to help a fellow student,” he said, reaching out to shake Trent’s hand.
His words stopped me in my tracks. I was a selfish bitch. I never considered what tutoring me would mean for Trent. My only concerns had been about myself and my unwillingness to give him a chance. I was a total asshole. Without waiting to hear Trent’s reply, I left the office.
Somewhere near the student union building during my walk back to my apartment, my self-loathing changed to suspicion. President Johnson had brought a relevant question to the table. I’d done nothing but treat Trent with disdain. Why would he willingly give up his time for me? Was this nothing but a mad ploy to get in my pants? The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced I was on the right track. Why else would he give up his precious lab time or all that other shit?
That bastard was trying to boink me.
Feeling better and less indebted to his “sacrifice,” I picked up my pace. My first tutoring session was this afternoon, and there was no way in hell I was going to be late.
8.
A couple hours before our tutoring session, I received a text from Trent because he found out the library was closed for the day with some sort of plumbing issue. He suggested we meet at his apartment off campus instead.
“Well, isn’t that convenient?” I said out loud, rolling my eyes. That superhero-worshiping asshole would go to great lengths to get in my pants. If that’s the way he wanted to play, that’s fine. Game on. Just because my grades sucked didn’t mean I was a moron. I called the library myself.
“Oh, so the library is closed until tomorrow?” I asked, confirming what the helpful lady who answered the phone had just stated. “Plumbing issue, you say? That’s what I heard. Okay, thanks for the info—bye.”
Fine. Send me your address, I texted to Trent. According to the GPS on my cell phone, his apartment was on the other side of campus. I probably could have walked there, but it had been almost a month since I’d taken out my old reliable Jeep, so I decided to drive. Dad reminded me every time I talked to him to start the Jeep at least once every few days to save the battery, but anytime it came to mind, I always told myself I would do it the next day. And yes, that would turn into the next day and then the next. My pattern was clear.
Cameo came out of her room as I was gathering my things to leave. It had started to snow outside and I wanted to head out in case it got bad.
“Hey, you want to go to Stavro’s for dinner? I’m in the mood for a little pasta and some house wine.”
I shook my head regretfully. “Can’t. I have tutoring.” The idea of good Italian food and rich wine sounded more appealing than banging my head against a math book, but my ass was in a sling.
“Tutoring? You? Where is my friend and what have you done with her?”
“Very funny.” I grabbed my bag, which felt like it weighed a hundred pounds with all the textbooks inside. “Believe me, I would much rather go to dinner with you.”
“So blow it off.”
The idea was laughable. At this point, if the college found out I was even thinking about blowing off tutoring, they would kick my ass to the curb so fast my head would spin. “Sorry, Cam. I can’t.” I knew she wanted more of an explanation, but I was too embarrassed to tell her about the trouble I was in with my grades. It sucked being the dumb one in our group.
“Can’t? Since when do you have a problem blowing things off? Besides, I don’t want to go alone. We haven’t hung out in a few days and I really need to relax.”
What Cameo meant by relax was she was looking to get drunk.
“Please, I’ll buy the first round of drinks,” she pleaded.
For a second I actually considered calling Trent to reschedule the first tutoring session. It wasn’t the same thing as canceling altogether. Of course, I was sure Professor N would feel differently. The image of his disappointed face filled my head. There was no way I could cancel.
“I really can’t. Professor N is on my ass. Maybe some other time.”
Cam looked completely taken aback. “Some other time? What does that even mean?”
“It means not now,” I bit out in aggravation. “I’m on freaking academic probation, Cam. If I don’t get my shit together, I’m out of here.” I pulled on my jacket in frustration and threw a scarf around my neck.
“Probation? Since when?”
“Since now. So, no. I don’t have time to go get drunk at Stavro’s.” Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I grabbed my keys and walked out, slamming the door behind me. I didn’t mean to get so mad at Cam, but she wouldn’t stop pressing. Hopefully, after a couple of hours we would both get over it and could talk again when I got home.
Ordinarily, I put more effort into my appearance before going out, but impressing Trent was the furthest thing from my mind. My plan was to buckle down during the tutoring sessions, figuring the sooner I improved my grades, the sooner things could go back to normal.
The snow was already coming down more than I’d thought and was beginning to stick. I grimaced when I approached my Jeep and saw the spiderwebs between the tires. Dad would have my head if he knew. The good news was that despite my negligence, Old Reliable started on the first try. I cranked the heat and waited for a few minutes to give it time to warm up before I pulled out. I still had fifteen minutes until T-Doom time, which is what I had deemed my tutoring schedule, so I decided to hit the coffee bar where I worked for some liquid sanity.